Category Archives: Indian Politics

Overheard 12…

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Prime Minister: Army chief problems… Supreme Courts raps… Corruption charges… Maybe a new President this year… Say it one more time: I am an honest and independent head of state… Nobody can remote control me… Running a coalition government is tough…
Errr… who’s speaking: Manmohan Singh or Yousaf Raza Gilani?

∙ One Indian player to another: OK, now Indian Test cricket is in serious trouble.
Our ad endorsement rates are falling!

∙ Umpire: This is your last warning if you don’t go faster, then you could face a one-match ban.
Captain (to himself): Good idea to get out of this dratted losing streak. As it is the board will never give me rest.
(To his bowlers): OK guys, forget the over rate, wickets are important!

∙ Indian Board official: Right, we are here to discuss Indian Test cricket’s biggest crisis in decades. Matches are getting over in just 3-4 days! We are losing so much revenue in terms of telecast days!

© Sunil Rajguru

Some more UPA musings…

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UPA1: Left left.
UPA2: Mamatata?

The Perfect Sibal Society
The NDA found a lot of things offensive.
The UPA finds even more things offensive.
Diggy Raja finds the very existence of RSS & Anna offensive.
The minorities may find this offensive and the majority may find that offensive.
I find you offensive and you find me offensive.
Let’s go ahead and remove everything that anyone finds remotely offensive and very soon Cyberspace will become Emptyspace (or let’s call it Sibalspace or is it actually Emptyspace between his ears?)

What a fighter!
You are fighting the CPM?
Yes, we are fighting Left…
You are fighting the BJP & RSS too?
Yes, we are fighting Left, Right…
And you are fighting your own cabinet, bureaucrats, Army chief and even your own allies?
Yes, we are fighting Left, Right and Centre.

© Sunil Rajguru

More general political musings…

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∙ Yesterday: Sab quota politics hai.
Today: Sub-quota politics hai.

∙ There was this elephant in a dark room. Many wise men went and touched it. One touched the trunk, one touched the ear, another the tail and yet another the leg and so on…
Since they all touched different parts of the body, they all described it differently and started arguing violently over what the elephant really was.
Then the Election Commission came and ordered the elephant to be covered with a large cloth and told all the squabbling parties to go home!

∙ For the last 10 years, TV news channels have been singing…
Why this why this Narendramo D?

∙ First Indian planner: The divide between the rich and poor is increasing thanks to this great growth we are seeing.
Second Indian planner: Then why don’t we slow down growth itself to stop the rich-poor divide?

© Sunil Rajguru

General political musings…

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∙ Beta: Papa ye sab kya hai? Saare statues dikhai kyun nahin de rahe hai?
Papa: Beta, ye sab Maya hai!

∙ Old Saying: Empty vessels make a lot of noise.
New Saying: MT vessels make a lot of noise.
(Where MT=Manish Tewari)

∙ BJP ko bahut Darr lag raha hai kyunki Congress bol raha hai… I love you q q q q q q quota…

∙ No virtual understanding
India: Chalo boriya bistar band kar ke chale jao…
Facebook & Google: Par hamara koi boriya bistar hai hi nahin, sab virtual hai!
India: To bas chale jao hamare desh se…
Facebook & Google: Par ham yaha sab hai hi nahin… sab virtual hai…
India: Abbe ye Interent ka off switch kahan hai bhai?

∙ EC official: Aap ka election funding kaise hota hai?
Politician: Sab bhagwaan ke hawale kar diya hai!
EC official: Hawala!

© Sunil Rajguru

Random poll musings…

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∙ Nowadays there are a lot of quota-ble quotes in the election speeches.

∙ In politics first there were wheels within wheels.
Nowadays there are quotas within quotas.

Overheard…
Q: What’s the first thing you’ll do if you come to power in UP?
A: Make sure that the covers never come off Maya’s statues!

∙ PM: Actually I’m more worried about malnutrition in FDI.

© Sunil Rajguru

Random Sunday political musings…

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An unequal fight…
The Team: Mere paas Anna (Bada bhai) hai, tere paas kya hai?
Rahul: Mere paas maa hai!
(Aur bonus main baap, dadi aur pardada ki legacy!)

∙ It’s a shame that any leader would want to build statues of himself or herself all over the place.
Once again it’s an Indian bureaucrat that is covering a politician’s shame.

∙ Congress war cry: Hamse jo takarayega, Corruption main mil jaayega.
(Take that Team Anna, BJP…)

© Sunil Rajguru