Category Archives: Indian Politics

Musings on Coalgate and other scams…

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∙ The perfect Indian neta brushes his teeth with Coalgate, uses a 2G mobile, is proud of his Army’s Bofors guns, signs all his papers on Telgi stamp papers, has a house in Adarsh, is very proud of our success in the 2010 CWG Games, puts a very high price on his vote, is a loyal Swiss Bank customer, uses palmolein oil at home and loves shady Big Bulls.

∙ UPA logic…
Only a “fraction” of funds reach masses.
Greater the amount of scams, proportionately greater that “fraction”!

∙ The ABC of scam busting
is actually
The CAG of scam busting.

∙ UPA 2.0 means scams in the region of Rs 2.0 lakh crores.
Wait for UPA 3.0!

∙ 2G scam’s No. 1 status up in the air.
Coal scam blacker than the blackest!

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

UPAnomics…

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Step 1: Allocate Rs 7000 crores for something as useless as mobiles for below poverty line families.

Step 2: Thousands of crores will disappear along the chain leading to a new scam.

Step 3: Telecom scam is now complete. Spectrum scam gets a partner in handset scam.

Step 4: Crores of BPL families end up with a mobile instead of roti, kapda or makaan.

Step 5: If they really are BPL, then they neither need nor can afford to use a mobile, so they sell it cheaply to buy food.

End result: The nation spends Rs 7000 crore in a scheme that benefits no-one in the long run and only adds to general inflation and economic mess.

Gresham’s law of Economics: Bad money drives out good.
UPA’s law of Economics: Bad schemes drive out good.

UPA1=NREGA dole. UPA2=Free mobiles for BPL families. UPA3 is what?
Bhagwan ke naam pe ek vote de de re baba!

This version by Sunil Rajguru

Power grid failure musings…

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∙ How many UPA ministers does it take to change a light bulb?
It doesn’t make any difference, there’s a permanent blackout anyway!

∙ North is North and East is East,
And together the twain shall trip.

∙ Darkness at Noon was written by Arthur Koestler.
The UPA has written three sequels…
Darkness at Dusk.
Darkness at Midnight.
Darkness at Dawn.

∙ Power corrupts.
Absolute power corrupts absolutely.
And even without power, Manmohan has presided over an absolutely corrupt ministry.

∙ In his Darkest moment, Sushilkumar Shinde sang, “Country roads take me Home…”

∙ America is a Superpower.
Russia is a Former Superpower.
China is an Emerging Superpower.
India is a Superpower Cut.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Failure is not a word in the UPA dictionary

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There is no power failure.
I never had power in the first place!
—Manmohan Singh.

There is no intelligence failure.
We never had intelligence in the first place!
—P Chidambaram.

There is no financial failure.
You are looking at White, while Black is booming!
—Pranab Mukherjee.

There is no tolerance failure.
We are tolerating all you idiotic citizens, aren’t we?
—Manish Tewari.

There is no governance failure.
All the scams are hereby declared Zero Loss.
—Kapil Sibal.

There is no foreign affairs failure.
Only Pakistan is a failed state.
—SM Krishna.

There is no power failure.
Black is the new industry standard.
—Sushil Kumar Shinde

There is no failure.
(That’s merely another name for the RSS).
—Digvijay Singh.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

UPA report card….

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Pranab Mukherjee, Finance Ministry.
Failed, promoted to President.

P Chidambaram, Home Ministry.
Failed, promoted to Finance.

SS Shinde, Power Ministry.
Failed, promoted to Home.

Historic precedent
Manmohan Singh, Lok Sabha elections.
Failed, promoted to Prime Minister.

Future predicament
How to handle the biggest failure of them all in the form of Rahul Gandhi.
(PM cum Party President?)

© Sunil Rajguru

Only in India…

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∙ Immoral Thugs are called the Moral Police.

∙ Dishonourable Murders in cold blood are called Honour Killings.

∙ Looters of the People are called Servants of the People.

∙ Recognizing religion and caste and pandering to it is called Secularism.

∙ Greater the crime, greater is the chance of getting away.

∙ Brutal Foetus Murders are called plainly Female Infanticides.

∙ An Undertrial can complete his prison term many times over without every coming to trial.

∙ An illegal attempt to dictate what women can wear is called a Dress Code.

∙ Past great leaders are defended with violence and till death but their ideals totally forgotten.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru