Have you ever watched a Hollywood movie and wondered: Someone else would have done that better! That is irrespective of whether the movie is a hit or not and the character received critical acclaim or not. Here’s one such Hollywood wish list…

Jim Carrey as the Joker: Carrey was great as the Riddler and the late Heath Ledger rocked as the Joker. But I still think that Carrey, with that awesome face of his, would be the ultimate Joker. The way he contorts his face, the way he moves his body and the way he speaks: He was born for the role. Maybe (hopefully) after 5-10 years!

Harrison Ford as Albus Dumbledore: Dumbledore was a daring and exciting wizard who wielded his wand with power and dueled with all sorts of evil wizards. So why take a character actor to do that role? When you look at Dumbledore, you want to believe this guy was a dashing adventurous dude in his youth. Who better than Ford with a white beard? Ford was Indiana Jones and Hans Solo in his past lives. That image is the clincher. Another option could be Sean Connery.

Christopher Lee as Voldemort: He was one of the scariest Draculas. He was the Evil Emperor’s henchman and dapper Count in the Star Wars series. And of course he was the ultimate bad wizard Sauron in Lord of the Rings. I don’t think anyone but Lee can be Voldemort. I have nothing against Ralph Fiennes, but the make-up man has turned him into a bit of a joke. Not at all scary… slightly repulsive maybe, that’s all. A far cry from the Voldemort of the Harry Potter series, that had people quaking in their boots.

Steven Spielberg as director of the Harry Potter series: The Harry Potter movies together look disjointed and have been directed by different directors. They are nowhere in the league of Star Wars or Lord of the Rings. I had initially read a report that Spielberg was considered, but talks broke down. Big mistake. Spielberg would have taken the Harry Potter films to a totally different level.

Haley Joel Osment as the young Anakin Skywalker: Jake Lloyd got the role of the young Anakin in Phantom Menace. When I heard that Osment of the Sixth Sense fame was the other choice, I thought: Bad miss. Why? Because the Dark Side doctrine is:
“Fear is the path to the dark side. Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering.”
Osment reeks of fear. No kid can bring out fear better than him.

Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy: This is probably the Mother of all Worst Castings. Hell they even got the robot wrong! They treated it as a comedy. But the Hitchhiker’s series is actually a deep philosophy of the universe that happens to be funny! Zaphod Beeblebrox is a crazy two-headed Galactic President. Again, I can’t think of anyone but Jim Carrey. How would you represent Marvin the Robot who has the “brain the size of a planet” and is always highly depressed? Definitely not something that looks white and cuddly! For the rest of the cast, I’d root for Cameron Diaz as Trillian, Will Smith as Ford Prefect, Matt Damon as Arthur Dent and Anthony Hopkins or Tommy Lee Jones as Slartibarfast.

Jason Statham as James Bond: When I first saw Transporter, Statham struck me as a rough version of James Bond. Polish him a bit and he’ll be good for the original. If Bond was American, he’d be Vin Diesel and if he was Indian, then Akshay Kumar.

© Sunil Rajguru