10 reasons why Sonia Gandhi is the worst Congress President ever

icon-2027661_640So Congress President Sonia Gandhi has taken her party’s performance to the worst ever in the 2014 Lok Sabha polls. A measly 44 seats! Is the Congress finished? Is the dynasty over? We will know for sure in 2019.

If at all that happens, the full credit goes to Sonia. The writing was on the wall for ages, but now only has it all come crashing down.

A look at 10 of her worsts…

1. First “zero experience” President…

What was Sonia’s experience before she took over as party President? Was she a freedom fighter or leader of note? Was she a Chief Minister or Cabinet Minister? Was she a bureaucrat or a top professional in a particular field?
She wasn’t even an MP. The post of Congress President was one of the most illustrious in India and Sonia became the first person to occupy that post with absolutely no official experience or any kind of established leadership skills.

2. Indefinite rule as President…

Even stalwarts like Jawaharlal Nehru and Indira Gandhi did not occupy the post of Congress President indefinitely. It was a rotational post occupied by many prominent leaders of the party. But Sonia has held it continuously from 1998 to now. That’s more than 16 years and counting and this despite her leading the party to a record low of 44 Lok Sabha seats.
That’s autocratic and resembles the dictators of the world: Ruler for life.

3. Destroyed the office of the Prime Minister…

Even short-term PMs like VP Singh and HD Deve Gowda at least tried to take their own decisions. After 10 years, Manmohan Singh was reduced to a mere caricature.
He was seen as a spineless leader who couldn’t take decisions on his own. Shiv Sena supremo Bal Thackeray was berated for introducing the concept of “remote control” in Maharashtra, but Sonia took it to the national level.

4. Most subservient second rung…

Nehru had a galaxy of leaders many who were better than him. The same was said of Indira when she took over. Rajiv Gandhi had players like VP Singh who later rebelled against him and became Prime Minister.
One must say that this is the most subservient of the lot. Manmohan was voiceless. Pranab Mukherjee was mainly Sonia’s fixer of problems and retired to India Presidency. Nobody has the guts to stand up to her or even her son Rahul Gandhi.

5. UPA2 the most corrupt government in history…

There is now no doubt left that UPA2 was the most corrupt Government in the history of Independent India. If Bofors was the mascot of the Rajiv regime, we are totally spoiled for choice this time.
2G, CWG, Coalgate, cash for votes, Adarsh, Choppergate, Tatra…
Now if Sonia is the most powerful person in India for the last 10 years, how in heaven’s name can she escape blame of this whole fiasco? Why isn’t the chairperson of the UPA responsible for the debacle that is UPA2?

6. More lucky than smart…

Think of Sonia from 1998-2004. She didn’t do a single thing right. She humiliated Sitaram Kesri, she failed to form the government and miscalculated the formation of the government by one vote. In 1999, she led the party to the then worst ever tally of 114 seats.
After Godhra, she attempted a soft Hindutva of herself in Gujarat and fell flat on her face. By 2004 she was a totally bankrupt leader. In 2004, the Congress won just 145 seats, which was not enough to complete 5 years in power.
It was only the fear of the BJP that has kept the Congress in power. The Left, the Trinamool, the DMK, the SP all have their differences with the Congress but have kept quiet. If you go by what Mulayam Singh Yadav says, then there only three letters that matter: C-B-I.
The credit for 2009 goes to Manmohan and Sonia stood exposed in the 2014 polls.

7. Populism destroyed India…

NREGA and Food Security Bill may be great if the economy is in a good shape, but not otherwise. All of Sonia’s schemes or Sonianomics involve getting votes in the short run and destroying the Indian economy in the long run.
Even attempts like the highly divisive Communal Bill would have threatened the secular fabric of India.

8. Created a parallel cabinet…

What was the National Advisory Council? It looked like something that was totally against the spirit of the Constitution. It was a power structure that paralleled the Cabinet of India. Through it, by claiming the post of Chairperson, Sonia derived all her official power, position and perks.

9. Not at all open to scrutiny…

For some totally unfathomable reason, the entire mainstream media prostrated itself in front of Sonia from 2004-14. This is strange for Nehru, Indira and Rajiv all faced a barrage of critical attacks in their lives.
But that ended up making Sonia all the more complacent and mediocre. Just because they didn’t criticize her doesn’t mean that there was nothing wrong with Sonia’s regime. On the contrary while regular criticism keeps leaders on their toes, non-stop flattery lulls leaders and that is why UPA2 was the most arrogant and corrupt government in Independent India’s history.

10. Robert Vadra’s name at airports…

I don’t know about you, but I was amazed whenever I’d pass by airport security and see Robert Vadra’s name there. I really felt like I was living in a banana republic.
Vadra is not even among the top one lakh senior government officials of India.
A Congress President putting her absolutely non-entity of a son-in-law’s name in the airport security all-clear list has to be an abysmal low.

© Sunil Rajguru

10 things that could happen if Narendra Modi became Prime Minister of India…

1. Every price rise, inflationary trend, national tragedy… would be prefixed with “In a blow to Modi…”

2. Every Government scheme would be prefixed with “Sonia unhappy as…” or “Advani disappointed as…” or Rahul angry as…”.

3. Some would be tempted to call him “Alleged Prime Minister”.

4. The media would announce that they are no longer government stooges but “proudly anti-establishment”.

5. The Ministry of External Affairs would hold Passport/Visa Help camps all over the country to help all those people who threatened to quit the country if Modi became PM.

6. The Modi Industry would seek FDI to keep afloat.

7. MPs would petition the Nobel Committee to revoke Barack Obama’s Peace Prize if he invited Modi to the US.

8. Critics would start counting the years in terms of AG (After Godhra).
For example…
Modi became PM of India in 12 AG.

9. His supporters would start calling him Mahatma Modi.
(Jab critics bina wajah ke use gira sakte ho, to fans bina wajah usko chadayenge kyun nahin?)

10. Alternatively, such scenarios could be also become common…
Anchor: And in a blow to Modi…
(Aide whispers into anchor’s ear: Sir no more Bharat Nirman ads. All Congress funding has dried up.
Anchor: Do you think BJP will do the same and oblige us?
Aide: Why not try it out?)
Anchor: And in a blow to Sonia…

© Sunil Rajguru

The 12 Fundamental Rights of Indian politicians…

1. Right to disrupt Parliament.

2. Right to bunk Parliament.

3. Right to be in Parliament despite being chargsheeted.

4. Right to rule even from jail.

5. Right to conflict of interests.

6. Right to nepotism.

7. Right to scams.

8. Right to arrogance.

9. Right to speaking total bakwaas 24X7.

10. Right to rule bureaucracy like royalty.

11. Right to totally forget the electorate between elections.

12. Right to Information.*
(*Right to “get” any information and not to “give” it)

© Sunil Rajguru

10 things you can do if UPA3 comes to power in 2014…

1. Emigrate.

2. Commit suicide.

3. Demand that the BJP be banned permanently to avoid any future false hopes.

4. Demand that Modi be exiled for the sake of future peace.

5. Declare democracy dead, call ourselves a monarchy and abolish General Elections.

6. Spend like crazy. Money will soon become worthless anyway. Enjoy your last days.

7. Call him Mahatma Pappu, the official Father of the Nation.

8. Start and watch only 24X7 Diggy Raja TV. Anything anyone else says is worthless anyway in this regime.

9. Put pictures of the dynasty in your house and worship them.

10. Do away with Bills, let everything be decided via Ordinance. Why waste time debating the inevitable?

© Sunil Rajguru

6 possible solutions to the Army Chief’s date of birth controversy…

The Army Chief and the government are in dispute over whether the General’s official date of birth is May 10, 1950 or May 10, 1951.

Some possible solutions…

1. The General be promoted to Field Marshall, thereby solving the problem of retirement and succession.

2. The two agree that the date of birth touch the half-way mark and be fixed at November 10, 1950. A perfect compromise!

3. The government work on a time machine. Even if the contraption is built after hundreds of years, it can first visit 1950 and 1951 to ascertain the truth, then come back to 2012 to pass on the information and go back to the future from where it came from.

4. The retirement ages of everyone in the Army be pushed ahead by a year. When the General retires in 2013, then the Chief’s retirement age can be pushed ahead by 1 year too. As it is the average retirement age in Europe has crossed 65 and we are way behind on that count.

5. Parliament passes a Constitutional Amendment saying that handwritten applications take precedence over matriculation certificates.

6. The UPA government resigns and calls for Lok Sabha elections. This is the last straw in their beleaguered plate.

These versions (With due respect to the respected armed forces) By Sunil Rajguru

4 reasons why Sachin has still not scored his Mahashatak…

So it’s been close to 250 days since Sachin Tendulkar scored his 99th international century, but the 100th (the Mahashatak) eludes him.

4 reasons why this could be happening…

1. The number of prayers that have reached God have crashed the Prayer Counter. It is unable to handle such a record number of prayers. Either that or the counter is such that the moment it receives 1 billion prayers for a single event, the counter sets back to zero.

2. After winning the World Cup final, Indian cricket is passing through an extraordinarily long  Rahukaalam. That’s why (less importantly) India got thrashed 0-4 in England and (more importantly) Sachin’s Mahashatak eludes him. The country’s top astrologers are calculating when this dark period will come to an end.

3. When Sachin got up in the morning his Facebook notification told him that it was World Kindness Day today. (It was actually set to Pacific Standard Time, which is time, which is 13.30 hours behind IST). He sub-consciously decided to be kind to the West Indies team. (And this is how they repaid him?)

4. The collective thoughts, aspirations worries, tensions and fears of millions and millions of Indian fans is warping the very spacetime around Sachin, thereby creating a disturbance in the force that will create the Mahashatak.

© Sunil Rajguru