India won all their World Cups when we had a Gandhi Prime Minister (or super PM)*.
(1983, 2007 and 2011)

Even all our Test series victories outside the sub-continent were as above.**
England (1971, 1986, 2007).
West Indies (1971, 2006, 2011).
New Zealand (1968, 2009).

*Ma, beta aur bahu: Indira, Rajiv and Sonia.
**Against Top 8 nations only.

© Sunil Rajguru

One indirect death in a Modi regime (Akhilesh’s law and order failure) sparks greater outrage than 1000 deaths in a Congress regime.

I’m sure Modi must be making a lot of mistakes.
Unfortunately nobody knows what they are as all the outraging is over his shawls, suits, selfies and Akhilesh’s law and order failures in UP.

Get busy rubbishing India or get busy reforming it.
Media, activists and Civil Society rubbishing India.
Modi reforming it.

Antimony is the largest occurring element in China.
Antimodi is the largest occurring element in Indian intelligentsia, media and Civil Society.

Modi’s biggest achievement for the BJP is that thanks to him all the Adarsh Liberals simply adore Vajpayee and Advani.

Ab mere bete ko Lutyens Bungalow nahin milega, chachi ka committee headship gaya, government junkets bandh… Hai hai Modi!
—Adarsh Liberal

Anything goes wrong…
Yesterday: It’s the foreign hand!
Today: It’s the Modi hand!

Funny Modi Haters…
They’ve thrown a million names at Modi.
But you throw one name against them, it’s Sparta.

Sirf AAP MLAs ke liye acche din aaye hai, Delhi citizens ke liye nahin.
Iska jawab kya Modiji denge?
—Sri Sri Kejri Baba.

They should just rename all other alliances to Modiviruddhbandhan.
‪#‎Mahagatbandhan‬ ‪#‎BiharPolls‬

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Incorrect news: I am returning an award.
Correct news: I am merely announcing that I’m returning an award to bash Modi and garner publicity for a forgotten me.

Nayantara Sahgal…
Rajiv beta ke raj main Sikh genocide aur Kashmiri Pandit exodus hua, par mujhe kya, usne mujhe Sahitya Akademi award diya!
Ab Pappu beta PM nahin ban raha to main award wapis karti hu!

Award waapis karne se kya hota hai?
Sahi protest karna hai to Lutyens Bungalow aur saare privileges waapis karke dikhao!

If all those enjoying Congress patronage returned State awards, then about 90% of all awards would be returned.

In a country where the Congress has given 26/45 Bharat Ratnas to Congressmen, returning them/protesting over them is futile.

Nayantara Sahgal’s cousins…
Indira imposed Emergency.
Sanjay went berserk then.
Rajiv-Sonia ruled party dictatorially.
But Modi? Sparta!!!

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

BJP No. 1 leader doing well.
Who cares?
BJP No. 7 has great plans.
Bah!
BJP No. 434 made stupid statement.
Perfect! Headlines! Lead story!

Usually…
I love you.
Awww same to you!
But here…
Laloo—Haraamzaada!
Media—Awww same to Modi!

Media—If there were stricter laws, Modi would be in jail.
Truth—If there were stricter libel laws, a 100 senior journalists would be in jail for a 100 years.

What’s common between Indian media and Aussie cricketers?
They sledge heavily but if you reply back they both start crying “victim”.

Go figure…
Jungle Raj
+ Scams
+ Nepotism
+ Casteism
+ No governance
+ Zero development
+ Abusive language
+ Conviction
=Media loves Laloo.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Kis tarah ke kapde pahante hai.
Kis rang ke kapde pahante hai.
Unke kapde ki keemat aur brand.
Uspe kya kya likha rahata hai.
Sab jaanta hu main.
—Pappu’s amazing insight on Modi.

The Congress annus horribilis years…
1977—When Emergency ended.
1989—When a Dynast was PM for the last time.
2014—When Empress Sonia was vanquished.

A book on Pappu’s political life will be called…
Revenge of the Speech Writer.

It appears that Pappu has just completed a PhD in “The type, colour and worth of dresses worn by Modi”.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

My Top 10 achievements…
1. Became VVVIP.
2. Great bungalow.
3. Wonderful cavalcade.
4. MLAs richer.
5. YoYa-PrBh kicked out.
6. Still attacking Modi.
7. Fixed Maharashtra.
8. Backed Laloo.
9. Media still fooled.
10. People still fooled.
—Kejri.

AAP…
After it got 4 MPs—Chaar bach gaye lekin party abhi baaki hai.
After it got 60+ MLAs—Party sathiya gayi hai.

Aam (ke aam guthli ke bhi daam) Aadmi Party.
‪#‎PayHike‬ ‪#‎UltraPrivileges‬ ‪#‎VVVIPs‬ ‪#‎RichPoliticians‬

These versions by Sunil Rajguru