Section 66A musings…

∙ Tomlinson invented e-mail.
Chandrababu Naidu popularized e-governance.
Congress invented e-mergency.

Pachaas kos door shahar main jab bachcha raat ko Facebook karta hai, to maa kahti hai beta so ja… so ja nahi to policewallah Section 66A leke aa jaayega…

∙ Criminal 1: How did your life in crime begin?
Criminal 2: In the beginning was the virtual word.

∙ Kapil Sibal is demanding an Arrest button for all status messages. Oh wait! He’s already got it!

∙ There is virtually no right to virtual speech.

∙ Virtual Insanity for Real…
Kill offline, get away.
Criticise online, get arrested.

∙ Tweet, get arrested. Take photo, get arrested. Draw cartoon, get arrested. Fight corruption, get arrested. Welcome to 2012, India’s Nineteen Eighty-Four.

∙ He has three vices: Smoking, drinking and Facebooking.
Is he a womaniser? No, worse, he’s a social networker.

∙ Offline: Think before you speak.
Online: Think before you Tweet, post, update, comment, like, blog, email, forward…

∙ 666: The number of the beast.
66A: The number of the political beast.

∙ In US, Obama has 24 million followers on Twitter.
In India, if the Congress had their way, they’d rather put 24 million Tweeple in jail.

∙ Redefining Social Media.
Politicians: They are all so annoying!
Enter Section 66A.
Politicians: They are all criminals!

∙ Messenger has invisible mode.
Likewise entire Facebook and Twitter has to be in invisible mode from the Indian government.

∙ Facebook sadism…
Step 1: Write awesome comment to a popular post.
Step 2: Wait for a few dozen likes.
Step 3: Edit your comment to something really really offensive.
Step 4: Get arrested with all those dozens of people.

∙ Indian politico’s new age mantra: Offline sticks and stones won’t break my bones, but online names and comments will always hurt me.

∙ During Emergency 1975, they could arrest anyone in India.
During Emergency 2012, they can arrest anyone in cyberspace.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Indian cricket musings…

∙ Can’t pace. Can’t spin. Can’t play pace. Can’t play spin.
But can still spin the ad market at a frantic pace.

∙ Dhoni sahab, mitti pe itna dhyaan doge to mitti main hi mil jaoge.
Insaan match khelta hai, pitch ki mitti nahin.

∙ Cricketer 1980: It is not about winning or losing, but playing well.
Cricketer 2012: It is not about winning or losing, but earning well.

∙ The pitch needs a Curator.
Indian cricket needs a Cure.

∙ Dhoni checklist. Can’t sack Fletcher. Can’t sack Gambhir. Can’t sack Sachin. Can’t sack self. So… sack curator!

∙ 2009: At least we are Test No. 1.
2010: At least we give a fight on foreign soil.
2011: At least we win at home.
2012: At least… F*** it! We still have all the money!

∙ As lucky as Dhoni has become As stubborn as Dhoni.
As godlike as Sachin has become As mortal as Sachin.
As ineffective as Duncan Fletcher remains.

Jab tak sooraj chand rahega,
Dhoni captain aur Sachin khelta rahega.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru