Short Takes October 2009

· India needs the very mildest excuse to burst crackers at night or set up a pandal with 20,000 watt loudspeakers and spoil everyone’s sleep: Any vague festival, a cricket victory, a marriage…

· Obama is laying all the groundwork in his first term. All the achievements will flow like a waterfall in his second term.

· 2010 Commonwealth Games Baton Relay will cover the longest route. That symbolizes the longest delay in constructing Commonwealth Games infrastructure.

· BJP ke paas bache the do bade cheez: Karnataka aur Gujarat. Karnataka main infighting aur Gujarat main Flu. BJP ko bura waqt kab khatam hoga?

· First it was: Are you online or offline. Now: Are you Waveline?

(30 October)

·  Idiom: Hoist by one’s own petard. Meaning: Destroyed by the very device one had intended for another. Replace: Device with terrorist, one with Pak, another with India. Sad. Very sad. Not good for India in the long run.

· Dhon-Dhoni-dhun-run!

(29 October)

· Says Facebook: “News Feed” picks stories that “we think you’ll enjoy”… Oh yeah Facebook! Now you can read my mind too!

· Bengaluru aur Baarish. Do purane dost mil rahe hain.

· All the Indian PMs have talked soooooo much on peace in Kashmir, so how come none of them won a Nobel Peace Prize?

· TV watching kills brain cells and is not actually harmful for eyesight. Computers are good for the brain and usually computer screens are very harmful for the eyes. So…

(28 October)

· 2 Elephants fight. Grass gets trampled. 2 Tigers fight. Congress Grass flourishes.

· Dost. Man ka Jharoka. Pasand. Deewar. Parchiya. KisanNagar. Bhai Logon ka Yudh. Prashna-Uttar jo apni dil ki baat, bhoot kaal, vartaman kaal aur bhavishya kaal sab bataye… Yahi sab hain CheheraKitaab Meri Jaan!

(22 October)

· The climate is sure changing! The ice is cracking. India is warming up to the US on Kyoto, trade and other international issues. Ram Jaane peeth peeche kya khichdi pak rahi hain!

· Have you noticed how there’s been a sudden spurt of violence in Pak ever since Obama won the Peace Prize?

· New Delhi. 1982 Asiads. 2010 Commonwealth. 2040 Olympics? (I have a dream…)

(21 October)

· The Diwali Wars have finally ended! For days the atmosphere, human ear drums & respiratory systems have been under incessant attack from noise and smoke. Har Bhartiya insaan paise ko dhue main udaata chala gaya… P.S. In other news, Burnol met their annual targets.

(20 October)

· Happy (Cough! Cough!) Diwali. P.S. I want to see and feel Diwali, not smell and hear it 24/7.

(18 October)

· It’s fast turning out to be an Indian Pointless League

· Hope one day we all can have a Noisefree and Smokefree Diwali. Happy Diwali!

(17 October)

· Indo-Chinese ties: Crouching Dragon, Hidden Tiger

(14 October)

· Obama finally reaches the cult status of George W Bush.
All the stand-up comedians are making fun of him.

· Faith can move Mountains. Hope can win Nobel Prizes.

· We are truly the Gypsy Generation, hum logo ka koi thikana nahin hain job/citywise.

· Obama is donating his prize money to charity. The prize itself he’ll donate to Pakistan, that’s his only Hope to Peace.

· They are renaming the Nobel Prize, from now on it will be called the Nobel Prize for Hope.

(10 October)

· 2010: Obama gets Nobel Literature Prize for his books and compiled speeches
2011: Obama get Nobel Economics Prize for taking the world out of recession
2012: Obama gets Nobel Medicine Prize for healthcare reforms
2013: Obama gets second Nobel Peace Prize for actually bringing peace, the first time he got for just talking about it…

· I guess Obama must be as surprised as we are. Let’s see how “Peaceful” the rest of his term is. For us, it just means more and more billions in aid to our dear neighbour…

· What will happen to these trillions of words we are writing in cyberspace…

· In the last 25 years, Aus, SL and Pak are the only teams to have won an ODI WC. They are in one group and India is in another. It doesn’t get simpler than that.

(9 October)

© Sunil Rajguru