Tag Archives: UPA

Yet more musings on Coalgate and other scams…

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∙ They should call him Sri Prakash Jai-sawal-pe-sawal.

∙ UPA=Unlimited Profiteering Alliance, Utterly Pathetic Alliance, Unaccountable (to) People Alliance, Unashamed Parties Alliance, Unbalanced Power Alliance, Un-Productive Alliance, Unbearable People’s Alliance, Unbelievably Pretentious Alliance, Uncertain Policies Alliance, Ulta Pulta Alliance, Unchecked Power Alliance…

∙ As far as the Congress is concerned, CAG=Campaign Against Government and VR (Vinod Rai) should get VRS. But seriously, CAG=Corruption And Government.

∙ Bharst nazar wale, tera muh kaala, tera spectrum kaala, teri bijli kaali aur koyla hai to kaala hi…

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

More musings on Coalgate and other scams…

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∙ Arybhatta invented Zero.
UPA invented hugely multiple Zero scams.
Sibal invented nullify via multiply by Zero method.
They deserve Zero votes in 2014.

∙ Woh tha Raja of 2G.
Manmohan hain Maharaja of all G (Generations of governments).

∙ Progress a la Manmohan
Jitna 1991 main economy ka size tha, us-se bada to scams ka size hain 2012 main!
OR
Yesterday
The turnover of General Motors was greater than the Union Budget of India.
Today
The size of scams is greater than the turnover of General Motors.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Musings on Coalgate and other scams…

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∙ The perfect Indian neta brushes his teeth with Coalgate, uses a 2G mobile, is proud of his Army’s Bofors guns, signs all his papers on Telgi stamp papers, has a house in Adarsh, is very proud of our success in the 2010 CWG Games, puts a very high price on his vote, is a loyal Swiss Bank customer, uses palmolein oil at home and loves shady Big Bulls.

∙ UPA logic…
Only a “fraction” of funds reach masses.
Greater the amount of scams, proportionately greater that “fraction”!

∙ The ABC of scam busting
is actually
The CAG of scam busting.

∙ UPA 2.0 means scams in the region of Rs 2.0 lakh crores.
Wait for UPA 3.0!

∙ 2G scam’s No. 1 status up in the air.
Coal scam blacker than the blackest!

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

UPAnomics…

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Step 1: Allocate Rs 7000 crores for something as useless as mobiles for below poverty line families.

Step 2: Thousands of crores will disappear along the chain leading to a new scam.

Step 3: Telecom scam is now complete. Spectrum scam gets a partner in handset scam.

Step 4: Crores of BPL families end up with a mobile instead of roti, kapda or makaan.

Step 5: If they really are BPL, then they neither need nor can afford to use a mobile, so they sell it cheaply to buy food.

End result: The nation spends Rs 7000 crore in a scheme that benefits no-one in the long run and only adds to general inflation and economic mess.

Gresham’s law of Economics: Bad money drives out good.
UPA’s law of Economics: Bad schemes drive out good.

UPA1=NREGA dole. UPA2=Free mobiles for BPL families. UPA3 is what?
Bhagwan ke naam pe ek vote de de re baba!

This version by Sunil Rajguru

Power grid failure musings…

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∙ How many UPA ministers does it take to change a light bulb?
It doesn’t make any difference, there’s a permanent blackout anyway!

∙ North is North and East is East,
And together the twain shall trip.

∙ Darkness at Noon was written by Arthur Koestler.
The UPA has written three sequels…
Darkness at Dusk.
Darkness at Midnight.
Darkness at Dawn.

∙ Power corrupts.
Absolute power corrupts absolutely.
And even without power, Manmohan has presided over an absolutely corrupt ministry.

∙ In his Darkest moment, Sushilkumar Shinde sang, “Country roads take me Home…”

∙ America is a Superpower.
Russia is a Former Superpower.
China is an Emerging Superpower.
India is a Superpower Cut.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Failure is not a word in the UPA dictionary

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There is no power failure.
I never had power in the first place!
—Manmohan Singh.

There is no intelligence failure.
We never had intelligence in the first place!
—P Chidambaram.

There is no financial failure.
You are looking at White, while Black is booming!
—Pranab Mukherjee.

There is no tolerance failure.
We are tolerating all you idiotic citizens, aren’t we?
—Manish Tewari.

There is no governance failure.
All the scams are hereby declared Zero Loss.
—Kapil Sibal.

There is no foreign affairs failure.
Only Pakistan is a failed state.
—SM Krishna.

There is no power failure.
Black is the new industry standard.
—Sushil Kumar Shinde

There is no failure.
(That’s merely another name for the RSS).
—Digvijay Singh.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru