Differences between Rahul Dravid and Rahul Gandhi…

Dravid: Did all the work and someone else got the limelight.
Gandhi: Did absolutely nothing and still got the limelight.

Dravid: Saved India on many an occasion.
Gandhi: India needs to be saved from him.

Dravid: The Wall—Nothing could go past him.
Gandhi: The Gate—Everything goes through him.

Dravid: Retired at 38.
Gandhi: At 38 was still a political baby.

Dravid: People were ready to walk miles to watch him bat.
Gandhi: People want to walk miles away when he speaks.

© Sunil Rajguru

Congress and its end of innings…

Sonianomics…
Free food. Free cash. Free houses. Free insurance. Free…
Everything but Free Speech.

There ain’t no such thing as a free lunch!
—Robert Heinlein.
Free lunch is my middle name!
—Arvind Kejriwal.
LOL! Me free lunch, dinner and breakfast!
—Sonia Gandhi.

Modi wants to be PM…
#ChaiPeCharcha.
Pappu wants to be PM…
#GaddiPeBachcha.

Blame for India’s megascams, economy, problems…
10% Manmohan.
1% Pappu.
0% Sonia.
Q: What about the remaining 89%?
A: Modi hai na!

Last Congress majority government ended in 1989.
Last Congress minority government ended in 1996.
Last Congress coalition government ended in 2014?

Just treat all these non-stop Congress ads as something part of their “Farewell campaign”.

Janata Party died in 1980.
Janata Dal died in 1998.
Congress is desperately attempting suicide in 2014.

The problem is that the Congress party seems to have only one theme song…
“Gandhi baat, voters ke sangh karoonga main Gandhi baat…”

An Absolute flood of ads with the faces of Pappu, Sonia and Manmohan…
Main (Pappu) nahin, Hum (Pappu-Sonia-Manmohan).
#HoRahaBharatBarbaad

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

More musings on the Pappu-Arnab interview…

What about SIT for 1984?
Pappu: It’s OK, I don’t want to sit. As it is I stand for RTI, women empowerment and changing the system.

Before interview…
Congress: Jab bhi hum 2002 bolte hai, woh 1984 kahate hai!
Pappu: Main theek karta hu.
After interview…
Congress: Hey bhagwan, ab sab sirf 1984 bol rahe hai, 2002 nahin!
Pappu: RTI. Women emporment. System….

1922: James Joyce masters Stream of Consciousness novel.
2014: Pappu masters Stream of Consciousness interview.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Never-ending Pappu musings…

First they ignore you, then they ridicule you, then they ridicule you again and then they ridicule you again and again and then they ridicule you again and again and again and then Modi wins.
—Pappu.

Worst Politician of India Award 2014…
Somnath Bharti and Pappu send in their nomination papers quite early in the year.

Congress leader: He is indecisive, clueless and confused. He doesn’t make any impact when he speaks. We are frustrated with him…
Sonia: Are you referring to Rahul or Manmohan?

Pappu ka sabse bada achievement LPG cylinders kiye nau se baraah.
Baaki sab main nau do gyaarah.

Bharat ek soch hai.
Congress ek soch hai.
Laloo ek soch hai.
Now I’m convinced that Pappu doesn’t exist.
Pappu sirf ek soch hai aur kucchh bhi nahin.

Raag Hindole: Dawn.
Raag Bhairav: Morning.
Raag Megha: Mid-day.
Raag Sri: Twilight.
Raag Deepak: Evening.
RaGa Pappu: Permanent night.

The rise and rise of Pappu…
2004: Trainee Prime Minister.
2009: Senior Trainee Prime Minister.
2014: Chief Trainee Prime Minister.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

If Pappu had to answer these questions…

Q1: What is the capital of France?
A: The French people should be empowered.

Q2: What is the capital of Maharashtra?
A: We have introduced RTI and through that we can get the answer.

Q3: Name the top 3 scams of UPA2.
A: We have introduced Lokpal and six more bills are pending.

Q4: What is the square root of 9?
A: The system to get this answer has very sound fundamentals.

Q5: Why are you doing business with a corrupt person like Laloo?
A: Laloo is an idea. An idea is just an idea and cannot be corrupt.

Q6: How is the Congress not involved in 1984 and the BJP involved in 2002?
A: Because the Congress not involved in 1984 and the BJP is involved in 2002!

Q7: What is exactly going on in your mind?
A: I am not sure it is possible for RTI to be used in all possible situations and that system is not very sound on fundamentals.

Q8: How will you give power to the people?
A: By empowering them.

Q9: What are your views on woman empowerment?
A: Women should be given power.

Q10: Why aren’t you engaging in a debate with Modi?
A: Yes, we can debate that.

Q11: What do you think of AAP?
A: Koi AAP nahin, koi main nahin, sirf hum hai.

Q12: You are answering none of the above questions.
A: It is only by strengthening the fundamentals of the questions and thereby changing their system that you can empower the answers and even that is not possible because there are really no answers but just ideas and ideas are open and not closed to the system and this I learnt from my father who learnt it from my grandmother and I think that will finally prove to you that Congress was not responsible for 1984 and BJP was responsible for 2002 and this would have been evident had you exercised RTI which we implemented while our Lokpal will ensure that such tragedies will never happen again and hence it is not necessary to debate Modi and so when you understand this answer, you will have understood a little bit about who Rahul Gandhi is and what Rahul Gandhi’s circumstances have been and if you delve into that you will get an answer to the question of what Rahul Gandhi knows and what he does not know and how he is going to open up a closed system by opening up his brain in such fashion and that’s how I see more energy in India and no energy in all the other political parties put together and that’s the idea that the Congress (which itself is an idea) gives to India (which is also an idea) and to put it finally, I have absolutely no idea what I am talking about and that pertains any idea whatsoever.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Yet more Pappu musings…

The Rahul Gandhi of Rahul Gandhi’s dreams is exactly like Superman, Batman and Spiderman.
(They are all fictional characters)

First they ignore you, then they ridicule you, then they ridicule you again and then they ridicule you again and again and then they ridicule you again and again and again and then Modi wins.
—Pappu.

If Pappu was a Brand Ambassador or a side actor in Bollywood, then I think I would really like him.
But a Prime Minister???!!!???

The fall of Pappu…
2009: Future PM.
2012: Will Modi checkmate him?
2013: Can he counter Kejriwal?
2014 headline…
Can he beat Kumar Vishwas in Amethi?

Charles is his inspiration.
At 65 he’s still a Prince to the Queen.
Pappu is just 44.

If Modi gives 9 great speeches then they’ll focus on the 10th lacklustre one.
If Pappu gives 9 stupid speeches then they’ll call the 10th above average one a masterpiece.

Star kids may get 15 flop Bollywood films before a hit.
Dynastic scions may get 15 flop elections before a success.

The contradiction…
The only way Pappu can re-invent the Congress is by removing the dynasty.
That is by removing himself.

I see only two categories of people cheering a Pappu speech…
1. Congressis.
2. TV reporters/anchors.

Premise…
I won’t vote for NaMo because of Namotards.
I won’t vote for AAP because of AAPtards.
Conclusion…
Vote for Pappu because there are no Papputards!

1919—Motilal Congress President, signals beginning of Nehru-Gandhi Dynasty.
Maybe Pappu is targeting 2019 to end the Dynasty.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru