A Gandhi story…
Beginning: Once upon a time there was a Gandhi (Mahatma).
Middle: Indira, Sanjay, Rajiv and Sonia all ruled.
The End: Pappu.
Pakistan: Either the Army rules or its puppet.
India: Either the Dynasty rules or its puppet.
India changed in 2014.
Pakistan will never change.
The Dynasty is at its End of Days.
The leadership is finished.
Good time to join the Congress.
You could be the next PM in 2024 or 2029!
These versions by Sunil Rajguru
Q: What is your post?
Pappu: Vice…. errr something.
Q: When will you be PM candidate?
Pappu: Can’t de date.
Q: Your election strategy?
Pappu: It’s been Modified.
Q: Opinion polls?
Pappu: No opinion.
Q: Exit polls?
Pappu: My exit strategy ready.
Q: PM’s farewell dinner?
A: Yes, the PM did not fare well at all. What’s for dinner?
Q: Swearing in ceremony?
Pappu: I will be swearing only.
Q: Leader of the Opposition?
Pappu: I will oppose that too.
Q: Strategy for 2019?
Pappu: 20…??? I can’t even plan 19 minutes into the future!
© Sunil Rajguru
Pappu is an Indian superhero.
Specifically Mr India.
Invisible during key times like August Kranti agitation and #PappuSkipsPMDinner.
Pappu to MMS: Tumhare ministers ne itna khaaya ki main protest main tumhare dinner main nahin khaaunga.
Out of the country half the time.
Pappu = NRP.
(Non-Resident Politician)
New Congress ad posters for Pappu after May 16…
Main nahin (haara), Hum (haare).
These versions by Sunil Rajguru
Pappuphobia: The fear that Rahul Gandhi may one day become Prime Minister.
Usage: Even though the Congress may lose on May 16, Pappuphobia may be around for a few more decades.
I don’t believe in the Peter Principle.
Pappu is at least 20 levels above his competency level.
I doubt there can ever be a Pappu Wave even within the Congress party.
These versions by Sunil Rajguru
In an exam paper, Modi got 80/100 and Kejri got 0/100.
Kejri screamed, “Modi failed to get 100 by 20 marks!” a few dozen times.
Media reported: Modi failed by 20 marks.
Pappu couldn’t even give the paper.
Sonia said, “Had he given the paper, he would have got 100/100.”
Media reported: Pappu narrowly misses getting 100/100.
Final headline…
Pappu best candidate. Kejriwal best challenger to Modi.
(And that’s how we are comparing a man with Zero days experience as Chief Minister with a man with 49 days experience as Chief Minister with a man who has 4500+ days experience as Chief Minister)
© Sunil Rajguru
The diminishing dynasty…
Nehru: Ruled till death.
Indira: Ousted and returned.
Rajiv: Ousted in one term.
Sonia: Never made PM, but power behind it.
Rahul: Will never taste power?
Destruction ka dwaar Pappu sarkaar.
Ab ki baar Modi sarkaar,
Agli baar Pappu sarkaar,
Media ki pasand Kejru sarkaar.
The most successful Congress campaign slogan this time would be…
Agli baar Pappu Sarkaar.
(Would be valid in 2019 too)
After elections, AAP and Congress can merge to become Aam Aadmi Congress.
Party President: Pappu.
2019 PM candidate: Kejriwal.
NaMo: Maine use apni naani yaad dilaa doonga!
Pappu: Fail! Main daadi ko yaad kar raha hu!
These versions by Sunil Rajguru