More Assembly poll musings…

Posted on May 14, 2011 by Sunil Rajguru

∙ The ABCD of Tamil Nadu politics…
A for AIADMK.
B for BJP.
C for Congress.
D for DMK.
Key: Congress aur BJP gaye tel lene.
Hum log permanent A/D alternating current se hi kaam chala lenge.

∙ The Political Traffic Signal of West Bengal has turned Green.
But has the Development Traffic Signal just turned Red?

∙ Meanwhile…
The Congress Election Campaign in Karnataka is poised to enter its fourth year next month.
The Centre may extend BSY’s term even after 5 years if he is not toppled by then.
(Hum usko gira ke hi rahenge… term expiry is not enough)
P.S. BSY has also emerged as India’s Most Trusted politician.
(Aur kisi ne itne Trust Votes survive kiye hai?)

Assembly poll musings…

Posted on May 13, 2011 by Sunil Rajguru

Jaya ho!
Lal Salaam Tamaam.
Bonus: No ji to the 2G team!

Pendulum, pendulum, yes papa!
Still swinging results, no papa!
Open the ballot boxes, ha ha ha!
(Hail to the Tamil Nadu voters. No matter how good or a bad government, it will be booted out anyway!)
OR
The only constant is change (of a Tamil Nadu government)

Congratulations national capital!
The Mamata Derail Express has just left New Delhi for good, making its way to West Bengal to ply there for 5 years.
(A lesson on how to replace a really bad government with one that promises to be much worse.)

This version by Sunil Rajguru

Diary of a Trainee Prime Minister…

Posted on May 12, 2011 by Sunil Rajguru

∙ Wear a white kurta pyjama at least 1000 times. Check.

∙ Say at least a 100 times that you don’t want to be Prime Minister. Check.

∙ Be a humble party worker for many years. Check.

∙ Eat in a rural home and sleep there. Check.

∙ Carry a pile of dirt in a vessel on a shoulder with a farmer. Check.

∙ Travel by a local train. Check.

∙ Tour India (almost) like Mahatma Gandhi. Check.

∙ Get credit for a Lok Sabha national victory. Check.

∙ Take potshots at major opposition leaders. Check.

∙ Travel by bike on a rural dirt road. Check.

∙ Participate in a dharna. Check.

∙ Get arrested. Check.

Next is what?

P.S. If the direct descendant of three prime ministers has to sit on a dharna in this country, then what hope is there for the rest of mere mortals?

This Version by Sunil rajguru

Ye dushmani hum nahin todenge…

Posted on May 1, 2011 by Sunil Rajguru

Dedicated to Indo-Pak relations, please sing to the tune of Ye dosti hum nahin todenge from Sholay…

Ye dushmani hum nahin todenge,
Todenge dam magar teri gardan na chhodenge.

Teri haar meri jeet, teri jeet meri haar,
Sun ae jhoothe yaar,
Tera gham kabhi ho na kam, jaayegi meri jaan ya teri jaan,
Aisa apna takraar.

Nukes se bhi khelenge, mauka to udalenge,
Danger pe bhi khelenge, tere liye le lenge,
Tere har dushmano se dosti,
Ye dushmani hum nahin todenge.

Todenge dam magar,
Teri gardan na chhodenge.

Logon ko aate hain do Kashmir nazar magar,
Dekho do nahin,
Arre ho judaa ya khafa ae khuda hai dua,
Kashmir sirf hame mile…

Goli barood saath hai,
Marna jeena saath hai,
Saari zindagi,
Yeh dushmani hum nahin todenge
Todenge dam magar teri gardan na chhodenge…

This spoof by Sunil Rajguru

(Original song: Ye dosti, hum nahin chhodenge
Film: Sholay
Year: 1975)

Dream Scam Cabinet

Posted on April 1, 2011 by Sunil Rajguru

President of India: Manmohan Singh

Prime Minister: Andimuthu Raja

Information and Broadcasting Minister: Niira Radia

Sports Minister: Suresh Kalmadi

Junior Sports Minister: Lalit Modi

Finance Minister: Harshad Mehta

Commerce Minister: Ketan Parekh

Minister for Information Technology: B Ramalinga Raju

Revenue Minister: Abdul Karim Telgi

Agriculture Minister: Laloo Prasad Yadav

Defence Minister: Win Chadha

Minister for External Affairs: Dawood Ibrahim

Minister for Civil Aviation: Any Fake Pilot will do

Industries Minister: AR Antulay

Telecom Minister: Sukh Ram
(Under close supervision of Shree Honorable Prime Minister)

Minister for Urban Development: Mayawati

Home Minister: Mulayam Singh Yadav

Minister for Mines: G Janardhana Reddy

Minister for Environment: G Karunakara Reddy

Cabinet Secretary: PJ Thomas

This Version By Sunil Rajguru

If wishes were horses…

Posted on March 30, 2011 by Sunil Rajguru

After 20 years, Imran Khan is the Prime Minister of Pakistan and Sachin Tendulkar the PM of India.

India and Pak reach the final of the 2032 T10 World Cup. So Sachin invites Imran to Eden Gardens where they meet and discuss a lot of things and end up sorting out the Kashmir issue! Cricket Diplomacy zindabad!

P.S. Manmohan Singh sahab, what an idea sirji! Deflecting all your problems in one stroke! If India wins the WC, you might actually win the assembly polls! What is 2G, CWG, WikiLeaks in front of cricket?