Classic Saying: Delhi door hai.
Anna Saying: Delhi paas hai.
Congress: Lokpal paas hai.
Anna: Lokpal door hai.
Congress: Bhrashtachar door hai.
Anna: Bhrashtachar (tumhare) paas hai.
Congress: RSS (tumhare) paas hai.
Anna: RSS door hai.
Anna: Hamare paas Lok taqat hai.
Congress: Tumse door Lok Sabha hai.
Anna: Aam aadmi (tumhare) paas nahin hai.
Congress: Aam chunav door hai.
© Sunil Rajguru
Knock Knock.
Who’s there?
FDI.
FDI who?
F*** D Idea! Retail will be swadeshi and we will protest, stall parliament, have dharnas and the like even if we are the BJP and we had thought of exactly the same thing when we were in power!
Knock Knock.
Who’s there?
Anna.
Anna who?
An’ now another fast is on the cards in December. After August Kranti, will we have a December Dhamaka or a Damp Squib?
Knock Knock.
Who’s there?
Windies.
Windies who?
Win these close ones on a regular basis Team India and we’ll all have a regular case of nerves.
Knock Knock.
Who’s there?
NATO.
NATO who?
Na to your apology says Pakistan over the deathly strike!
These versions by Sunil Rajguru
After the Fellowship of the Team Anna and The Two Fasts, we are looking at the Return of the Hunger King in December when Mr Hazare Goes to Delhi (the Sin City) to complete the Lord of the Fastings trilogy. But will Anna show True Grit and be The Rock or will he simply continue to call the government Liar Liar? The Congress on its part will look at Team Anna and say Look Who’s Talking!, continuing to call it the Enemy of the State.
What Lies Beneath the news? There will no point in Switching Channels as all of them will show the same ole Fight Club and The Social Network will be abuzz again with activity. The common man, meanwhile, is increasingly bent on showing his Fist of Fury.
But still, The Tihar Redemption looks unlikely and the UPA won’t rely on Transformers or go in for a new Avatar. It’s all badly Tangled: The UPA could well sink like the Titanic The Day After Tomorrow in 2012. So all in all it does appear a Mission: Impossible.
India is all about Eat Pray Love? Come December and it could well only be Fast Swear Hate.
Bonus…
More Hollywood ways of looking at the April-August-December (if it takes place) fasts…
The Anna Identity. The Anna Supremacy. The Anna Ultimatum. (Bourne)
Anna. Anna Reloaded. Anna Revolutions. (Matrix)
These versions by Sunil Rajguru
(Original Lyrics: Main shaayar to nahin, magar ae haseen jab se dekha maine tujhko, mujhko shaayari aa gayi…
Song: Main shayar to nahin. Film: Bobby. Year: 1973.)
Now Kanimozhi was a shaayar to begin with. So how did she enter politics?
Her take…
Main politician to nahin, magar ae haseen rokda jab se dekha maine tujhko, mujhko politics aa gayi…
Manmohan’s take…
Main politician to nahin, magar ae kambakht Raja ko jabse dekha, mujhko politics aa gayi…
Anna’s take…
Main politician to nahin, magar ae haseen andolan aur mauka jab se dekha maine tujhko, mujhko politics aa gayi…
Diggy Raja’s take…
Main spokesperson to nahin, magar ae Congress bachane ka bhoot ka virus jab se dimaag main ghusa, mujhko verbal diarrhoea aa gayi…
Rahul…
Main politician to nahin, magar kya karu, mere DNA main hain, politics aaye ya na aaye, ek din to pradhan mantra ban-na hi padega! Meri duvidha samjha karo bhai log!
Advani…
Main pradhan mantri to nahin, magar marte dum tak pradhan mantrigiri jaayegi nahin…
Maya…
Ye koi maya to nahin, par jabse maine pradhan mantri ki kursi ko dekha, aur kuch dikhai deta hi nahin…
Sonia…
Na main politician hu, na main shaayar hu, bus ek behind the scenes player hu…
Chidambaram…
Main politician to nahin, magar ae Subramanian Swamy ko jab se dekha, lagta hai ki bachi kuchi politics bhi chali jaayegi…
Pawar…
Main politician to nahin, main billionaire bhi nahin, main BCCI main bhi koi nahin, in fact main kuch bhi nahin…
These versions by Sunil Rajguru
Anna Hazare finally breaks his maun vrat!
Now all eyes on Manmohan Singh to do the same…
P.S. Sonia Gandhi ko publicly last kab kisne bolte suna hai?
P.P.S. Rahul Gandhi kab maun vrat pe ja raha hai?
(And as far as Congress spokespersons are concerned… no that’s asking for a bit too much…)
© Sunil Rajguru
(So Anna Hazare has written a letter to the government on the issue of corruption and Lokpal after a long time… Anna speaks to the government through this letter… Please sing to the tune of Chitthi aayi hai from Naam…)
Chitthi aayi hai, aayi hai,
Chitthi aayi hai,
Chitthi aayi hai Anna se,
Chitthi aayi hai,
Bade dino ke baad,
Hum bhrastachariyo ko yaad,
Ralegaon Sidhi ki mitti aayi hai,
Chitthi aayi hai…
Upar mera scam likha hai,
Andar ye Anna ka paigham likha hai…
“O Tihar ko jaane waale,
Laut ke phir se aane waale,
FIR, CBI jaanch paar gaya tu,
Desh ko ekdum badnaam kar gaya tu,
Imaandari ke rishte todh gaya tu,
Aankh main aasu chhodh gaya tu,
Kam khaate hain, kam sote hain,
Bahut zyaada hum rote hain.”
Chitthi aayi hai …
“Sooni ho gayi insaaf ki galiyaan,
Kaante ban gayi saare kaliyaan,
Kehte hain Lokpal ke waade,
Yaad kiya main, tum ekdum bhoole,
Lokpal bin jab aaya Swantantrata Diwas,
Aisa laga ki aaya amavasya,
Lokapl bin jab aayi Diwali,
Deep nahin dil jale hain khaali,
Peepal soona panghat soona,
Ghar shamshaan ka bana namoona,
Fasal kati aayi Baisakhi,
Lokpal ka aana raha gaya baaki.”
Par chitthi aayi hai …
“Pehle jab tu khat likhta tha,
Meetings main chehera dikhta tha,
Bandh hua ye mel bhi ab to,
Khatam hua woh khel bhi ab to,
August Kranti manch par jab baitha main,
Beech ka raasta dekh raha tha main,
Main to boodha hu, mera kya hai,
Mere desh ka haal bura hai,
Sab neta log khaate hai mewa,
Desh ki soorat lagti hai bewa,
Tumne paisa bahut hai khaaya,
Is paise ne desh ko marwaya,
Lokpal pinjra todh ke aaja…”
(Original Song: Chitthi aayi hai…
Film: Naam.
Year: 1986)
This Spoof by Sunil Rajguru