How Congress slogans should actually change…

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Then… and…
Now.

Garibi Hatao.
Congress Hatao.

Wipe every tear from every eye.
Wipe every Congress leader from every State.

Ho raha Bharat Nirman.
Ho raha Pappu Nirman.

Poori roti khayenge, Congress ko jitayenge.
Poora scam ka paisa khaayenge, desh ko dubaayenge.

Kattar soch nahin, yuva josh.
Kattar soch, nahin yuva josh.

Main nahih, hum.
Hum gaya tel lene, sirf main.

Vote for calf and cow,
Forget all others now,
Vote Congress.
Vote for cow slaughter,
Vote Congress.

Jai Jawan Jai Kisan.
OROP Jawan MNREGA Kisan.

Indira is India and India is Indira.
Sonia and Pappu are India and India is Sonia and Pappu.
(That doesn’t make any sense. Well, this party stopped making sense long back.)

Congress ka hath, Aam Aadmi ke saath
Congress ka hath, aam aadmi ko thappad.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

#AdarshLiberals still going strong…

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Step 1: Attack Modi virulently.
Step 2: Support…
a. Ishrat Jahan.
b. Afzal Guru.
c. Ajmal Kasab.
Step 3: Call India Intolerant.
‪#‎AdarshLiberal‬

Either ‪#‎ShutDownJNU‬
OR rename it as ‪#‎KarlMarxUniversity‬ for that is what it is
OR revamp it totally and rename it as ‪#‎NetajiSubhasChandraBoseUniversity‬.

Intolerant Nehru.
Fascist Indira.
Dictator Sanjay.
Communal Rajiv.
Destructive Sonia.
Incompetent Pappu.
‪#‎AdarshLiberal‬: Just transfer all the adjectives to Modi!

#‎AdarshLiberals‬ logic…
Since Hinduism is the oldest surviving religion in the world, all the ills in the world can be attributed to it.
Second oldest Judaism—Perfect!

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

The politicians #AdarshLiberals love…

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India’s worst politicians at governance…
Anti-Modi Mamata.
Anti-Modi Lalu.
Anti-Modi Kejri.
Anti-Modi Akhilesh.
Verdict: Falling governance in India is Modi’s fault.

Bihar’s Lord of the Rings trilogy…
1. Fellowship of Nitish, Lalu and Pappu.
2. The Two Towers of Tejashwi and Tej Pratap.
3. The Return of the King (Lalu).

Crime happens.
1. Is criminal related to Modi’s party?
Yes = Attack Modi.
No. Go to 2.
2. Is State ruled by Modi’s party?
Yes = Attack Modi.
No. Go to 3.
3. Modi is PM. Attack him.

Congress, DMK, SP: Monarchy.
AAP, TMC, RJD: Anarchy.
ADMK, BSP: Matriarchy.

Jawaharlal Marx.
Indira Marx.
Sonia Marx.
Mamata Marx.
Jyoti Marx.
Arvind Marx.
The Marx Dynasty.
Ruling the world since 1848.

Global belief in Communism…
1848: 99% intellectuals. 1% people.
1948: 99% intellectuals. 50% people.
2048: 99% intellectuals. 0% people.

Schrodinger’s Pappu.
The whole world knows his career is dead.
Congressis think it’s still alive.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Kejri aur sarvanaash

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Indian Revenue Service.
No idea of revenue.
No idea of service.
No idea of Indian.
Indian Institute of Technology.
No idea of technology.
Chief Minister of New Delhi.
No idea of New Delhi.
Only idea: “Chief”. I. Me. Main.
‪#‎Kejri‬

Kejri
Film reviews ✓
Personal attacks ✓
Allegations ✓
No portfolio ✓
No work ✓
Solve…
Garbage woes✘
Power woes✘
Delhi problems✘
Anything!✘

New Delhi…
2011: Spring of Hope.
2016: Winter of Despair and Discontent.

It is said that Delhi is a city which has been destroyed and rebuilt 7 times.
After Kejri is finished with it, it may have to be rebuilt the 8th time.

Loading Anarchy in New Delhi.
20% downloaded.
80% left.
‪#‎EkSaalGayaChaarSaalBaaki‬

Give a self-confessed Anarchist 67/70 seats in an Assembly and you will definitely get anarchy. Just four more years though.

Highest paid Chief Minister in India.
+ Most media goodwill.
= Least amount of work.
‪#‎Kejri‬

Kejri’s 2 gears.
1. Me Me Me Me Me Me Me Me Me.
2. Modi Modi Modi Modi Modi Modi.

2 “Left” turns = 1 U-turn.
2 U-turns = Back to where he started.
‪#‎ArvindKarlMarx‬
Repeat process again and again.

Kejri with 67 MLAs is 10 times more powerless than Sheila Dixit with 43 MLAs.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Kejri holidays even as Delhi becomes a dump…

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People are starving!
Marie-Antoinette—Let them eat cake!
People are suffering pollution!
Sri Sri Kejri Baba—Let them get naturopathy!

Mukhya Mantri Kejri = Dukhi Mantri Kejri.
Always complaining.
Always abusing.
Always blaming others.
Always giving reasons for failure.

Arvind Karl Marx virtually sold Communism while campaigning.
New Communism has finally come to New Delhi.
Enjoy till 2020!

Instead of meeting the problem or meeting the protestors or even meeting experts, Kejri will meet the press in a conference.
Story of his political life!

Who said Kejri doesn’t have other portfolios?
Minister (Press Conferences).
Minister (Passing the Buck).
Minister (Out of State Matters).

These versions by Sunil Rajguru