Know your onions…

Posted on by
1

Latest sayings…
• You are the onion of my eye.
• You are worth your weight in onions.
• Show me the onions!

Caution!
• An onion a day gets the taxman to visit your doorstep.

Most popular non-vegetarian dishes…
• Chicken no Pyaaza
• Pyaaza raha gaya mutton

New election slogan…
• Hum aapko denge Roti, Kapda, Makan, Bandwidth aur Pyaaz!

Hit songs…
• Pyaaz, pyaaz na raha, lahsun, lahsun na raha, zindagi hame tera aitbaar na raha
• Goro ki na kaalo ki, ye duniya hai onionwalo ki

Onionology:
• The study of Onion Economics, Onion Politics, Onion Cycles and Onion Trade.
The Indian Institute of Onions will also roll out Onion Management courses.
The first Onion Billionaires are expected soon.

Hindi usage…
• Mujhe pyaas lagi hai! (A quenchable thirst)
Mujhe pyaaz lagi hai! (An unquenchable thirst)

Latest role models…
• Jains.
They have been doing away with onions and garlic for millennia!

Proposal…
• After the Stock Exchange and Metal Exchange, the government is considering a Vegetables Exchange for rare and precious vegetables.

Love boasts…
• Jitne tumhe aasman main tare nazar aa rahe hain, utne main tumhe pyaaz laake doonga agar tum mujhse shaadi karogi!
• My love for you is as deep as there are layers in an onion.

This version by Sunil Rajguru

Random Thoughts 24

Posted on by
Reply

• Old age saying: Walls have ears.
New age saying: Firewalls have ears.
(The WikiLeaks effect)

• Let’s have just 6 months in a year from now on…
That way you’ll live twice as long and be hopeful that your luck will change every 6 months instead of every 12.

• A million websites and nothing to read…

• Indian batsmen are like lemmings.
If one commits suicide in an innings, all the others feel compelled to follow.

© Sunil Rajguru

More Facebook Quotes…

Posted on by
Reply

• You are only as good as your last status message.

• I feel so naked… like everything in my life has been put up on Facebook.

• My life is in a state of flux… just like the Facebook interface.

• Yesterday: I have hundreds of friends!
Fibber!
Today: I have hundreds of friends!
FBer!

• Hasn’t the world suddenly become a “Friend”lier place?

© Sunil Rajguru

How to make a fairness cream ad in India…

Posted on by
Reply

Step 1: Take a celebrity or a superfair model.

Step 2: Darken his or her face via make-up or Photoshop.

Step 3: Get him or her to act really really gloomy.

Step 4: Show your product to the public.

Step 5: Get back to the original fair face.

Step 6: Watch your sales soar even though everyone on Earth knows that the celebrity or model didn’t even sniff your fairness cream.

© Sunil Rajguru

Every day is a Sonday 3…

Posted on by
Reply

• One day when I dressed up really smartly, he said, “Wow! You’re looking as cool as an idiot!”
When I glared at him, he said, “What? Haven’t you seen 3 Idiots?”

• When I made him walk quite a distance once, he said, “God! I’m sure you made me walk at least a million millimeters today!”

• They say you need a good memory if you are a liar.
That applies to being a father too.
I often hear, “But last time you gave a different answer to the same question!”

• While watching the movie Kaminey on TV, after a couple of songs he said, “If one has a lisp and the other stutters, then how come they sing so well? This movie is illogical.”
And he stopped watching.

• When the cool Batmobile emerged in Batman Begins, all he could ask was, “Does he have a license for that thing?”

• He hates brushing his teeth.
One day he complained, “If all the children brush their teeth regularly, then what will all the poor dentists of the world do?”

• He has advice for my writing.
If ever you write a tragedy, then you should add at the end: “And they lived sadly ever after…”

• My wife got him a watch from New York.
He kept fiddling with it but couldn’t change the time to Indian time.
He tossed it aside and said, “Forget it, the watch is jetlagged.”

© Sunil Rajguru