What “Manmohan Singh” really wants to say…

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Main azaad nahin hu!

Anna Hazare se mujhe bachao!

Nuclear policy ki waat lag gayi!

Mukherjeeda, main tujhe pradhan mantra nahin ban-ne doonga!

Oil prices, inflation, high taxation ka magic wand kahan hai!

Hisar chhootha, ab hisaab hi chhuthha ho jaayega!

Andimuthu Raja ye tune kya kiya!

Notes se votes nahin milte hain, cash-for-votes file bandh karo!

Swiss Bank list ki talwar abhi bhi sar par latak rahi hai!

Information ka Right ko bahaar pheko!

NREGA aur kitna paisa lega? Tijori hi khaali ho rahi ha!

G se bahut dar lagta hai… 2G, CWG, CAG, Soniaji, Rahulji…

Hum phir bhi chup rahenge… hahaha… tum sab chillaate raho!

This version by Sunil Rajguru

Decoding the Wall Street protests…

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Styles of government…

∙ First there was Monarchial Dictatorship….

People revolted and that became a minority.

∙ Then there was Religious Dictatorship….

People shook that off too and its impact has lessened.

∙ Then came Ideological Dictatorships like Communism….

The sham was exposed and they’re on their way out too.

∙ Also on the decline are things like Military and Aristocratic Dictatorships…

∙ While a majority of countries in the world have democracy today (the Economist Democracy Index lists only about one-third of the countries of the world as authoritarian regimes)…

…there’s still Economic Dictatorship (another name for the way Capitalism is practiced today)…

The people have finally risen against that and best of luck to them!

© Sunil Rajguru

Contemporary Knock Knock Jokes 6

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Knock Knock.
Who’s there?
I.
I who?
iThis. iThat. iHere. iThere. It’s just about iEverything nowadays!

Knock Knock.
Who’s there?
Anna.
Anna who?
I know you’re RSS! (Guess who!)

Knock Knock.
Who’s there?
Sonia.
Sonia who?
So now you don’t think she’s doing as great a job as she was doing in 2009?

Knock Knock.
Who’s there?
Omar.
Omar who?
O maara ki nahin maara maine use, tum apna ye biased news coverage bandh karo!

Knock Knock.
Who’s there?
Bhusan.
Bhushan who?
Bhoosa mara mujhe that’s what!

© Sunil Rajguru

Random Thoughts 27

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∙ Sometimes I think mankind is a suicide bomber bent on blowing up the Earth.

∙ In the good ole days, most people’s lives used to go nowhere slowly.
Nowadays, most people’s lives go nowhere pretty fast.
That’s progress I guess.

∙ With so little time and so little rest nowadays, the phrase should changed to…
“I need 20 winks of sleep!

∙ Contemporary word meanings…
Baroque: Highly ornate and extravagant in style.
Barack: Highly ornate and extravagant in style of speech.

∙ An Indian rubbed a genie and was granted one wish. Being a true patriot, he asked for all the corrupt people in India to simply vanish.
Suddenly there was absolutely no-one to rule the nation and India quickly slipped into anarchy and became the world’s most failed nation.

© Sunil Rajguru

Choose your crime. Choose your size.

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If you want to thrash a prominent person, then first form a fancy group with a fancy name…

If you want to kill someone, make sure you have a bigger group with a bigger sounding cause…

If you want to kill a few more people, make sure you end up in politics to escape in the end…

If you want some chance of success at any stupid cause, make sure you do enough rail and rasta rokos, disrupting life as much as possible…

If you want to kill a few million people however, make sure you head a respectable government first…

For all other common citizens, even if you steal 10 Rupees or threaten someone, you could end up in jail for a very long time…

© Sunil Rajguru