Indian politics main sabka swagat hai…

Posted on by
Reply

Dacoit bano phir araam se Indian politician ban jao. (Phoolan Devi)

Oxford-Cambridge main pado aur ant main Pradhan Mantri raho. (Manmohan Singh)

Barso ke liye Indian citizenship refuse karo, par araam se walk in kar ke party president bano. (Sonia Gandhi)

Bachpan main chaiwallah ban ke fir PM candidate bano. (Narendra Modi)

IIT main pado, CM ke gaddi pe baitho. (Manohar Parrikar)

Activism-Anarchy ki puja karo aur politics ke saath bhi khelo. (Arvind Kejriwal)

Housewife zindagi bhar raha ke bhi straight away CM bano. (Rabri Devi)

Total filmi career ke baad State ka Big Boss ban jao. (Jayalalitha-Karunanidhi-MGR-NTR)

Sasurji CM hai to damaad bhi banega. (Chandrababu Naidu)

Ma-baap-uncle-aunty-cousin… koi bhi politician hai to tumhari entry pakki. (Too many to name)

School ke dropout ho jao, araam se Indian politician bano. (Too many to name)

Chargesheet pa ke Indian politician bano. (100+ in the Lok Sabha itself)

Zindagi bhar aish karo, kuch na karo, kuch ideas na do, permanently future PM ka title lo. (Pappu)

© Sunil Rajguru

Raj karega AAP, magar dharna se…

Posted on by
Reply

Gali gali main dharna hai,
AAP ko kucch nahin karna hai.

An apple a day keeps the doctor away.
A dharna a day keeps the governance away.
An allegation a day keeps the real questions away.
#AAP

Strange bedfellows in Delhi…
Both AAP and Congress voted together to form government.
Both AAP and BJP want government to fall.
Both BJP and Congress are disgusted with AAP.

AAP has simply redefined “Ruling Government” to mean “Opposition to the Opposition”.
So now Delhi has two Oppositions and Zero governments.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Similarities between AAP and CBI…

Posted on by
Reply

Both go after top politicians without delivering results in the end.

Both are masters at issuing clean chits.

Both claim to be independent but detractors say that the strings are pulled by the Congress.

In terms of delivering the goods, both feel like caged parrots.

The CBI wants autonomy from the Centre, the AAP wants Delhi to have autonomy from India.

The CBI and AAP both claim anti-corruption as their main plank though they may both prove ineffective to counter corruption.

CBI is exempted from RTI while the AAP thinks it’s exempt from everything.

© Sunil Rajguru

AAP daily nautanki musings…

Posted on by
Reply

Like CEO, CFO, CIO, CXO…
Arvind Kejriwal is the new CAO of India.
Chief Andolan Officer.
(Or CDA = Chief Dharna Officer)

Arvind Kejriwal should just launch a 24X7 TV channel and syndicate content to other channels.
Dharnas, stings, conspiracy theories, vigilante raids… no shortage of content.

AAP is like a student who got 100/100 in theory, failed in practicals and resorted to yelling at the invigilator, questions and system instead of changing.

Khap yahaan aaye kisliye?
Haryanvi voters ko bulaayaa isliye!

Tum mujhe khoon do, main tumhe azaadi doonga.
—Netaji Subhas Chandra Bose.
Tum mujhe votes do, main tumhe anarchy doonga.
—Arvind Kejriwal.

Problem: Congress had been ruling Delhi for 15 years.
Reality: AAP is currently ruling Delhi with Congress support.
Solution: Attack BJP and Modi.

Live every day as if it was your last.
—Roman emperor Marcus Aurelius.
Govern every day as if it was your last.
—Indian emperor Arvind Kejriwal.

AAP.
Out of power…
Allegations Agitations Party.
In power…
Allegations Agitations Party.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

When Azam Khan’s buffaloes went missing…

Posted on by
Reply

buffalo-2359970_640Ask not what your buffaloes can do for you.
Ask what you can do for your buffaloes.
—Azam Khan, SP.

While UP was burning, SP was fiddling with junkets, film shows and buffaloes.

Full marks to the SP for respecting animal rights.
That they pay absolutely no regard for human rights is a different story altogether.

Did anyone check what direction Azam Khan’s buffaloes were headed to?
Mulayam has launched a Delhi Chalo campaign.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

More musings on the Pappu-Arnab interview…

Posted on by
Reply

What about SIT for 1984?
Pappu: It’s OK, I don’t want to sit. As it is I stand for RTI, women empowerment and changing the system.

Before interview…
Congress: Jab bhi hum 2002 bolte hai, woh 1984 kahate hai!
Pappu: Main theek karta hu.
After interview…
Congress: Hey bhagwan, ab sab sirf 1984 bol rahe hai, 2002 nahin!
Pappu: RTI. Women emporment. System….

1922: James Joyce masters Stream of Consciousness novel.
2014: Pappu masters Stream of Consciousness interview.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru