Congress and its end of innings…

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Sonianomics…
Free food. Free cash. Free houses. Free insurance. Free…
Everything but Free Speech.

There ain’t no such thing as a free lunch!
—Robert Heinlein.
Free lunch is my middle name!
—Arvind Kejriwal.
LOL! Me free lunch, dinner and breakfast!
—Sonia Gandhi.

Modi wants to be PM…
#ChaiPeCharcha.
Pappu wants to be PM…
#GaddiPeBachcha.

Blame for India’s megascams, economy, problems…
10% Manmohan.
1% Pappu.
0% Sonia.
Q: What about the remaining 89%?
A: Modi hai na!

Last Congress majority government ended in 1989.
Last Congress minority government ended in 1996.
Last Congress coalition government ended in 2014?

Just treat all these non-stop Congress ads as something part of their “Farewell campaign”.

Janata Party died in 1980.
Janata Dal died in 1998.
Congress is desperately attempting suicide in 2014.

The problem is that the Congress party seems to have only one theme song…
“Gandhi baat, voters ke sangh karoonga main Gandhi baat…”

An Absolute flood of ads with the faces of Pappu, Sonia and Manmohan…
Main (Pappu) nahin, Hum (Pappu-Sonia-Manmohan).
#HoRahaBharatBarbaad

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Kejriwal nautanki musings…

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Kejriwal is currently better than Modi and Pappu put together.
Modi in getting media coverage.
Pappu in getting spoofed, memed and joked about.

At this rate, Arvind Kejriwal will soon file an FIR against Barack Obama.
Take that Preet Bharara!

Tip…
If you ever think that AAP is going to win in your city municipality—simply stop paying your water and electricity bills as a protest!

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Yet more Kejriwal musings…

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At this rate, Arvind Kejriwal will soon file an FIR against Barack Obama.
Take that Preet Bharara!

If Arvind Kejriwal is the item girl of Indian politics, then I must say he’s extremely prolific.
We have a different item song each and every day.

Since most politicians are corrupt in India, arrest all the AAP ones.
Same logic used by Somnath Bharti to harass African women and now claim that he stands vindicated with latest expose.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Foreign Test debacle musings…

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Dhoni: I lost in Auckland.
Srinivasan: Don’t worry, I won in Dubai.

New Zealand to sirf ek jhaaki hai,
England main whitewash abhi baaki hai.

Srinivasan should step down as BCCI President.
–>Becomes ICC President instead.
Chennai Superkings should be scrapped.
–>He’ll do so and simply launch Chennai SuperEmperors instead.

Detractors: You have no moral right to be BCCI President.
Srinivasan: OK! Let me be ICC President instead!

India, England and Australia try to form ICC super group.
With the way we are playing, I think we should form a super group with Bangladesh and Zimbabwe instead.

On foreign soil in Tests, the only question to be asked is whether the Indian team as a whole will cross the individual score of the highest Opposition batsman.

Ishant Sharma is like a salesman.
The moment he feels he has met his target of wickets, he takes it easy for the rest of the quarter.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

The Facebook movie…

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In terms of the cost of bandwidth and man hours wasted in watching/sharing the Facebook Movie, it must have already grossed $1 billion worldwide.

Yesterday…
Nokia: We are the world’s largest producer of cameras.
Today…
Facebook: We are the world’s largest producer of movies.

Everyone will get his or her 15 minutes of fame.
—Andy Warhol.
Everyone will get his or her own movie.
—Mark Zuckerberg.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Congressi poll musings…

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Did you know Manmohan Singh has refused his monthly salary?
Ab koi free main kaam karega to aisa hi bakwaas kaam karega na?

Pappu: Change the system! Bring in outsiders!
Note: Congress is the system. Pappu is the ultimate insider.
Subliminal message: Don’t vote for me or the Congress!

Congress is making great progress.
First they were stuck in 2002 (Godhra).
Then they were caught in 2004 (Ishrat case).
Now they’ve moved on to 2005 (Aseemanand allegations).

TV bytes…
What will happen to Pappu’s 6 bills… Pappu’s 6 bills… Pappu’s 6 bills…
Sounds like a kid bawling for 6 chocolate bars.

Congress plays politics like an ODI match.
They leave heavy scoring for the slog overs.
When play is called off due to bad light/rain, they lose and cry foul.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru