Shahid Afridi musings…

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Total runs scored by Shahid Afridi in 5 World Cups spanning 16 years…
325.
Rohit Sharma: Bitch please! I can do that in 1.5 innings in half a week!

He should change his name to Shaayad Afridi.
Every captain takes him in the team thinking…
“Shaayad ye aaj maarega!”

Misbah’s ODI strike rate is 74.
Means if he batted 50 overs, he’d make 222.
Pakistan today made 213 matching their captain’s personality.
Still better than Afridi—Then Pakistan would be 100 all down in 10 overs.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

India quarterfinal victory musings…

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Ref: India versus Bangladesh, March 19, 2015.

When Rohit came, a lot of people said that he would be greater than Sachin.
Saala ye to bahut serious ho gaya sasura!

2007: Bangladesh and Ireland kick India and Pakistan out of the World Cup.
2015: India and Pakistan kick Bangladesh and Ireland out of the World Cup.

Dhoni’s speech to Indian bowlers before the semis…
Sattar wicket! Sattar wicket hai aapke paas.
Bus aur bees chahiye aur hum chaar saal ke liye naachenge!

Sometime during the Australia triangular series…
Clarke: Come on boys, we’ve to win this!
Morgan: Come on boys, we’ve to win this!
Dhoni: Come on boys, we’ve to practice for the World Cup!

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Pappu musings will never stop…

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Superheroes…
Pappu—Mr India.
Sonia—The Shadow.
Kejriwal—Lord Chaos.
Sibal—Agent Zero.

Congress: India is becoming a Police State!
P.S. Had we won in 2014—Then India would have become a Pappu State.

Height of chamchagiri…
Then—India is Indira. Indira is India.
Now—Calling Pappu’s refusal to fill a basic form as espionage, lack of political freedom and even stalling Parliament.
‪#‎RahulSnoopFarce‬

Still no sign of Pappu!
At this rate people will wonder if he exists or he is just a fictional character.

Like the Ordinance Pappu probably tore up the personal form.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

South Africa anti-choke musings…

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banner-2024936_640Ref: South Africa versus Sri Lanka, March 18, 2015.

After AAP political realignment, a choking realignment is underway in the South Africa-Sri Lanka quarter final match at World Cup 2015.

South Africa needed 134 off 50.
AB de Villiers wanted to open but then someone reminded him it was 50 overs and not 50 balls.

Sri Lankan batting chokes.
Now South African batsmen have a greater chance of chauke pe chauka rather than choke-a pe choke-aa.

Dekh bhai, bahut choke kar liya aapne!
Aaj hamari baari hai!
—Sri Lankan batsmen

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Dhoni victory musings…

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After retirement he can build the MS Dhoni Museum of Victory Stumps.

Dhoni must have seen Miandad’s last ball sixer at Sharjah 1986 as a small kid and vowed…
“I will avenge this a 100 times over!”

Overs 41-50 are called the Death Overs in ODIs.
Dhoni is the King of Death.

If the openers won’t get you, Kohli will.
If Kohli won’t get you, Rahane-Raina will.
Aur agar sab gaye tel lene, toh Dhoni hi akela kaafi hai.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

The downright Spooky Symmetry of the World Cup…

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Nobody beat India.

India beat Pakistan.

Pakistan beat South Africa.

South Africa beat Ireland.

Ireland beat West Indies.

West Indies beat Zimbabwe.

Zimbabwe beat UAE.

UAE beat Nobody.

Nobody beat New Zealand.

New Zealand beat Australia.

Australia beat Sri Lanka.

Sri Lanka beat Bangladesh.

Bangladesh beat England.

England beat Afghanistan.

Afghanistan beat Scotland.

Scotland beat Nobody.

(Ref: Group stages.)

© Sunil Rajguru