Currently NECROPOLIS or the City of the Dead is going hammer and tongs after Indian Prime Minister Narendra Modi…

N—NGOs (Funds have dried up).

E—Editors (of fading MSM).

C—Communists (those of an extinct ideology).

R—Retired ole fogies (desperately trying to make themselves relevant).

O—Opportunists (of all shades and hues).

P—Party loyalists (of the Congress of course—Where else can they go?).

O—Opponents (who got thrashed badly in the elections but still can’t accept defeat).

L—Lutyens Club (which still can’t accept an outsider) + Liberals (Fiberals).

I—Intellectuals (Pseudo waale).

S—Seculars (Pseudo waale).

© Sunil Rajguru

Most political violence in a single State is by CPM in West Bengal.
Solution—State that only Sangh Pariwar is violent.

Most violent group are Naxalites.
Solution—Sympathize with them and call them Gandhians with guns.

Most communal riots happened under Congress regimes.
Solution—Declare BJP the only communal party in India.

Most dictatorial leaders are Sonia, Jaya, Mamata, Karunanidhi etc.
Solution—Declare Modi as the sole dictator.

Most legislation to muzzle dissent brought in by national Congress leaders.
Solution—Say that Modi has cracked down on dissent.

Most intolerant group: Intellectuals, liberals, seculars, editors, activists, NGOs and Congressis.

Solution—Declare Modi the epitome of intolerance and start a vicious national campaign against this cooked up “intolerance”.

© Sunil Rajguru

The only freedom under threat on Twitter is the ‪#‎FreedomToBeStupid‬.

A party with 63 MLAs and 21 MPs asks the “aukaat” of a party with 1000+ MLAs and 329 MPs.

(October 31)

Before elections: We will use Delhi money wisely.
After elections: Spike in ad budget, MLAs get four-fold hike and sanitation workers get babaji ka thullu.

Today in TOI, the Front Page has been pushed to Page 9.
One day it will become the Back Page.

(October 30)

1947—Didn’t get Kashmir.
1965—Didn’t get Kashmir again.
1971—Lost East Pakistan.
1984—Didn’t get Siachen.
1999—Didn’t get Kargil.
201?—Lost Balochistan.

A nuke ended World War 2.
A nuke may begin World War 3.
‪#‎PakTerror‬ ‪#‎NKorea‬ ‪#‎Iran‬ ‪#‎IS‬

Can’t play Tests?
ODIs/T20s hai na!
Can’t play ODIs/T20s?
IPL hai na!
Can’t play IPL?
Don’t worry, Sachin-Warne planning a retiree’s league.(October 29)

Anna Hazare was a great guy.
But at the end of the day his biggest and worst legacy will be Kejri Baba and AAP.

Bihar…
Congress goes wrong.
Laloo goes wrong.
Nitish goes wrong.
Mahagatbandhan—Three wrongs make one right!

(October 29)

General VK Singh’s Top 4 achievements according to his work…
1. Became Indian Army chief (First commando general).
2. Won Lok Sabha elections and became Central minister.
3. Sterling performance in Yemen evacuations.
4. Role in Chhota Rajan arrest.
According to media…
1. Went to court over date of birth (thereby challenging Sonia).
2. Allegedly may have tried a totally non-existent coup.
3. Popularised the dastardly term ‪#‎Presstitutes‬ in India.‬‬
4. His sound bites (unrelated to work) lead to a million news stories.

(October 27)

Aspirations increase…
Roti, kapada, makaan, bandwidth, kamai, padai aur dawai.

(October 25)

PM sir, hamaare MLAs ko please crime karne deejiye.
Delhi Police please ek saal ke liye deejiye taaki woh bach sake, aur crime kare. Please!

(October 17)

Sudheendra Kulkarni singing…
Hum kaale hue to kya hua hum peacewaale hai…

(October 13)

Jab tak main double century maarta nahin, in logon ka kucch nahin ho sakta hai.
‪#‎RohitSharma‬ ‪#‎IndVsSA‬ ‪#‎KanpurODI‬

On such days RT stands for Rohit’s Talent and not ReTweet.
‪#‎IndVsSA‬

Rohit ka talent dabana mushkil hi nahin, namumkin hai.
(Other days: Rohit ka apna wicket na phekna mushkil hi nahin, namumkin hai.)
‪#‎IndVsSA‬

(October 11)

Akhilesh, Mamata and Kejri are fighting for the title of “Worst Chief Minister”.
Who will win?
‪#‎AdarshLiberal‬: Modi.

Pepsi…
1996 World Cup: (We wanted in so) Nothing official about it.
IPL 2015: Officially it is nothing (so we want out).

Why don’t we have a political reality show?
TV channels—But it is already running.
Which show?
Channels—Paanch saal Kejriwal!

(October 10)

Kejri has bashed Modi/Jung, visited Dadri, made umpteen ads, invited Ghulam, backed Laloo, hiked salaries… anything but “develop Delhi”.

Nehru won thrice (1952, 57, 62).
Indira won thrice (1967, 71, 80).
Rajiv/Sonia won thrice (1984, 2004, 14).
So Pappu will also win thrice.
He’ll probably rule from 2024-39.

(October 9)

Man swims exactly half-way across Palk Strait and says, “I’m too tired to proceed, so let me swim back.”
I guess the Aadhar situation was similar.

(October 8)

With the way NDA is capturing one State after another in India will soon become iNDiA.

Rajiv Gandhi.
Deve Gowda.
Modi.
There is only one eternal truth for the Garden City.
Prime Minister + Bangalore = Massive traffic jams.

If the Mahagatbandhan loses in the Bihar Assembly elections, they will change their name to Chhotagatbandhan.

Elections aa rahe hai?
To fir bolo Modi.
Sirf naam hi kaafi hai.
‪#‎BiharPolls‬

(October 6)

Looks like Rohit will have to hit a 200 in T20s too for us to win.
‪#‎IndVsSA‬

At the age of 44, Pappu was presented with 44 MPs in the Lok Sabha.
In 5 years, at the age of 49, Pappu may be left with a total of 49 MLAs all across India.

SM = Social Media.
MSM = Mostly Stale Media.

Rohit “Talent” Sharma…
Today: 100 in T20.
Yesterday: 200 in ODI.
Tomorrow: 400 in Tests.
‪#‎IndVsSA‬

Nehru turned the Congress into a personality cult.
Indira gave it a dictatorial streak.
Sonia turned it into a personal fiefdom.

(October 3)

Aye mere watan ke logon, zara yaad karo kurbani… of Lal Bahadur Shastri too as it his Jayanti and not just of Mahatma Gandhi!

(October 2)

BJP lost 5 Delhi Assembly polls in a row.
Congress may lose next 5.
Hardik Patel should relocate to Delhi for his party.
Kejri Vs Hardik will be tough fight.

(October 1)

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Alarming times!
Intolerant intellectuals.
Law and order sinking in non-BJP States.
Sonia living in fear.
‪#‎AdarshLiberals‬ livelihood being snatched.

Staunch supporters of the most intolerant politician in India’s history (Sonia) have launched a “He’s Intolerant Campaign” against Modi.

The most spectacularly successful Indian scheme since 1947 is…
Nehru-Gandhi Pariwar Aur Unke Chamcho Ko Dhanwan Banao Yojana.

It’s not why ‪#‎AwardWapsiGang‬ kept quiet during Emergency and 1984.
It’s why the sins of Akhilesh, Mamata and Siddaramaiah are being foisted on Modi.

Devaluation everywhere…
Sardar Patel–>Hardik Patel.
Mahatma Gandhi–>Rahul Gandhi.
Bal Thackeray–>Uddhav Thackeray.

Looks like a Modi Victory Trauma Allowance Yojana was launched recently.
So many beneficiaries suddenly jumping up and down for no reason.

For most ‪#‎AwardWapsi‬ is seen more as good “entertainment” than real news.
That itself tells a story.

It’s funny how media, activists and intellectuals adore the likes of Laloo, Sonia and Kejri, but attack politicians who do good work.

Pre-2014: Modi will become PM only when hell freezes over!
Well Modi haters have been living in a frozen hell for more than a year now and frankly it shows.

At least some progress.
From ‪#‎BlowToModi‬ all the time to ‪#‎Modi‬’sBiggestTest all the time.

Crime happens…
Congressi convicted: Wait for SC verdict! Innocent till then.
BJPian “alleged”: Guilty! Guilty! Guilty!

First PM…
Leaders elected Patel.
Netaji most charismatic.
Rajaji had economic vision.
Instead we got duffer.

© Sunil Rajguru

Tamil Nadu—Can’t criticize Jaya.
West Bengal—Can’t criticize Mamata.
India—Can’t criticize Sonia.
Verdict—Modi is intolerant and suppresses freedom of speech.

Modi…
2002: Attacked. Won.
2007: Attacked. Won.
2012: Attacked. Won.
2013: Attacked. Won.
2014: Attacked. Won.
2015: Under attack. Will win. Yawn!

#‎GharWapsi‬ played up.
‪#‎AwardWapsi‬ in full swing.
All for ‪#‎SoniaWapsi‬.

All freedoms exist only for the Nehru-Gandhi Dynasty and its chamchas.
That’s the real fight going on right now.

© Sunil Rajguru

1. In 1954, Prime Minister Jawaharlal Nehru recommended to the President that his Vice President S Radhakrishnan get the award.

2. In 1955, Prime Minister Jawaharlal Nehru recommended to the President that Prime Minister Jawaharlal Nehru get the award.

3. In 1962, Nehru recommended to the sitting President that the outgoing President (Rajendra Prasad) get the award.

4. In 1971, Prime Minister Indira Gandhi (following her father’s footsteps) recommended to the President that Prime Minister Indira Gandhi get the award.

5. In 1975, Prime Minister Indira Gandhi (again following her father’s footsteps) recommended to the President that the outgoing President (VV Giri) get the award.

6. In 1980 Mother Teresa was recognized only after she won the Nobel Prize.

7. In 1990, Ambedkar got it 33 years after his death.

8. In 1991, Narasimha Rao gave the award to Rajiv Gandhi as a thank you and an appeasement to Sonia.

9. In 1991, Sardar Patel got it 40 years after his death.

10. In 1977, Morarji Desai abolished the Bharat Ratna and still accepted it in 1991.

11. In 1992, Abul Kalam Azad got the award 34 years after his death.

12. In 1992, Satyajit Ray was recognized only after he got the lifetime achievement Oscar.

13. In 1992, Netaji Subhas Chandra Bose got it 47 years after he went missing and the award was scrapped by the court

14. In 1999, Jayaprakash Narayan got it 20 years after his death.

15. In 1999, Amartya Sen was recognized only after he won the Nobel Prize.

16. In 1999, a record was created when Gopinath Bordoloi got it almost 50 years after his death.

17. In 2015, the above record was again broken when Madan Mohan Malviya got it almost 70 years after his death.

© Sunil Rajguru