Category Archives: Short Takes

When Jayalalitha got convicted…

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Three largest Opposition parties in Lok Sabha…
1. Congress. (Sonia in National Herald case)
2. AIADMK. (Jaya convicted in DA case)
3. TMC. (Mamata faces Saradha flak)

Yesterday: Neta ka jai ho.
Today: Neta ko jail ho.
JAILaloo.
A RaJAIL.
KanimoJAIL.
JAILalitha.

In a slip of the tongue, Subramanian Swamy said Sonia instead of Jaya on a TV news channel.
Practicing in advance?

Amma Cement, Amma Rice, Amma Canteen…
Coming soon…
Amma Jail built with Amma Cement with Amma Canteen serving Amma Rice.

If Raja/Kanimozhi also gets convicted after Jaya, then BJP will launch a ‪#‎Mission118‬ campaign for the Tamil Nadu Assembly in 2016.

The blind devotion of the average Indian voter to follow their leader despite a clear criminal conviction is quite disgusting.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

When the Shiv Sena and BJP broke up in Maharashtra…

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Maharashtra politics…
2006: Pramod Mahajan, RIP.
2012: Vilasrao Deshmukh, RIP.
2012: Balasaheb Thackeray, RIP.
2014: Gopinath Munde, RIP.
2014: BJP-Sena alliance, RIP.
2014: Congress-NCP alliance, RIP.

February 14: Valentine’s Day.
September 25: Breakup Day.

When the news channels didn’t know whether they were breaking or not…

The BJP-Shiv Sena alliance is like Schrodinger’s Cat because it is simultaneously alive and dead.

Breaking News for 10 days…
BJP-Shiv Sena/NCP-Congress on the verge of breaking/breakthrough.
(Means we haven’t the foggiest idea but we will say we were right no matter what happens in the end)

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

More Bilawal Bhutto musings…

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Pakistan’s Indianised Trimurti…
Sharif: As ineffective as Manmohan.
Imran: As anarchic as Kejriwal.
Bilawal: As idiotic as Pappu.

Bilawal Bhutto lost his Cashmere wool sweater.
He screamed: I will get back my Cashmere, every inch of it!
As usual, social media went crazy for no reason.

Modi beat him to PM’s chair.
Kejri beat him to media coverage.
Bilawal beat him to clown princedom.
Poor Pappu!

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

When Bilawal Bhutto wanted every inch of Kashmir…

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Dear Bilawal,
First try to take Pakistan from the Pakistani Army.
Then fantasize about taking Kashmir from the Indian Army.

Zulfikar: We’ll eat grass but build the bomb.
Benazir: We’ll eat grass but build self-destructing militancy.
Bilawal: We’ll eat grass.

Bilawal: Why is our country called Pakistan?
Papa: P for Punjab, A for Afghania, K for Kashmir…
Bilawal: What? We’ll take back Kashmir!!!

Bilawal Bhutto heard it as…
Doodh maangoge to kheer denge,
Kashmir maangoge to beer denge.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Modi-BJP musings…

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A DD news anchor read XI Jinping as 11 (Eleven) Jinping.
A Chinese anchor should take revenge and read MODI as 1000-0-500-1.

Under Modi paradoxically both Indo-China co-operation and rivalry will increase.

Analysis in advance…
BJP wins: (It was) Communal Polarization.
BJP loses: Communal Polarization (didn’t work).
‪#‎Bypolls‬

Strange…
BJP hires partisan BJP leaders for Governors.
–>Hmm, OK.
BJP hires neutral former Chief Justice for post.
–>All hell breaks loose.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

More on the Nehru-Gandhi Dynasty…

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Films of…
Pappu: The Man Who Would be Prime Minister.
Sonia: The Last Queen of Scamland.
Manmohan: On Her Majesty’s (Not So) Secret Service.

Report: Rs 51 lakh spent for maintenance at Sonia’s house.
Question: Has India spent Rs 51 lakh crore for maintenance of the Dynasty so far?

Like Mr India, Sonia Gandhi is a superhero called Mrs India.
She becomes totally invisible when media discusses scams, policy debacles and UPA2 disasters.

Manmohan: I was not in charge.
+ Sonia: I wasn’t the PM.
= Nobody was responsible for the UPA2 debacle.

Congress to all its detractors…
Kyun (Vinod) Rai ka parvat bana rahe ho?
‪#‎ScamsterMMS‬ ‪#‎UPA2‬ ‪#‎Coalgate‬ ‪#‎2G‬ ‪#‎NotJustAnAccountant‬

These versions by Sunil Rajguru