Category Archives: Short Takes

And the Modi Hate Industry continues…

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Under a Sonia regime they are too petrified to talk.
Under a Modi regime they scream boldly from the rooftops that they are petrified.

Rule.
Crime happens.
MLA. MP. CM. PM.
If anyone is from BJP, blame BJP.
After Modi won 2014, blame secured till 2019.

There are six degrees of separation between a Modi Hater and him blaming Modi for every little thing that happens in India.

People behave as if Modi had 1000 implementations ready just after he took oath of office.
Only Shastri and Rao achieved this much in 2 years.
200 million voted for NDA in 2014, a world record.
Yet they keep talking of “Paid BJP trolls”.
Every party and company has paid Tweeters.
‪#‎Fact‬

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

US Presidential musings…

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Why Trump may win…
‪#‎ISimplyHateTrump‬ beats ‪#‎ButIHateHillaryEvenMore‬
(May the best man win = May the least hated person win!)

Every politician’s dilemma…
2008.
Obama: Down down Hillary!
2016-beginning.
Sanders: Down down Hillary!
2016-end.
Obama/Sanders: Up up Hillary!

The US President is King of the Global World Order.
So if Trump gets elected, forget America, you may have to leave this planet.
‪#‎Liberals‬

Had super delegates not rigged it, Sanders would have got all anti-Hillary and anti-Trump votes, which would be a good chunk.

Democrat leadership supports dynasty over merit.
Sanders was far more charismatic, but super delegates put him behind at start line itself.

Socialists/Communists say the American Dream is dead.
Can we instead discuss the Russian Dream from 1917-91?

100% American Presidents have been males who had at least one white parent.

If elected, ages when their US Presidential term ends in 2021…
Sanders 79.
Trump 74.
Hillary 73.
Old age pensioners club of candidates!

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

‪#‎ModiInUS‬

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65 MPs wrote to Obama to stop his visa 65 years after Independence.
65-year-old Modi addresses US Congress with 65 odd clapping interventions.

Times change!
2005.
Modi denied US visa.
Musharraf blue eyed boy of US.
2016.
Modi gets red carpet welcome in US Congress.
Musharraf denied US visa.

If Modi stays as PM for long, he’ll have one US visit for every one of the 65 MPs who petitioned Obama not to let Modi visit the US.

Munnabhai Chale Amerika on hold indefinitely.
Gujjubhai Chale Amerika released today and reaches blockbuster status.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Musings on the Nehru-Gandhi Dynasty…

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Not much difference between Jawaharlal, Rajiv and Rahul.
Only times and media are different.
Jawaharlal would’ve been a Pappu today, Rahul would have been a Prime Minister then.

Indira was Nehru’s virtual chief of staff.
She became CWC member in 1955.
Party President in 1959.
Nehru died in 1964.
Yes, he started the Dynasty.

#‎RajivGandhi‬
1980: Pilot. to 1981: MP.
1984: PM with greatest mandate. to 1989: Ensures Congress will never get 272 in Lok Sabha ever again.

It appears that Pappu took a vow in 2009 to destroy the Congress in 10 years.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

General musings on India…

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Mahatma Gandhi on notes.
Mahatma Gandhi for votes.
Mahatma Gandhi on stamps.
Many a Mahatma Gandhi road.
Boss Mahatma Gandhi overload!

I think the censor board is high not Punjab.
They should rename ‪#‎UdtaPunjab‬ to ‪#‎UdtaCensorBoard‬

Kejri called Modi a coward and psychopath.
Instead of blocking Kejri, Modi followed him.
On Twitter that’s the greatest example of Tolerance.

1. Media praises Kejri.
2. Media praises Kejri.
3. Media praises Kejri.
4. Media praises Kejri.
5. Kejri really goofs up, media blasts him.
6. Kejri abuses media.
7. Back to 1.

The 5 Ws and H of Indian Humour…
What is funny? Nothing!
Who can crack a joke? No-one!
When can you crack a joke? Never!
Where can you crack a joke? Nowhere!
Why should you crack a joke? You can’t!
How can I crack a joke? You can’t!!!

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

The humour of India musings…

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Not only does India have a poor Human Rights Record, it has a poor Humour Rights Record too.

Here is a short list of things you can’t make fun of in India.
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Everything.

We should have a list of people in India who we cannot offend.
Very soon it will include 125 crore people.
Then it will become a list of 10 billion to include even the dead.

Old logic…
If someone offends you, ignore him.
New logic…
If someone offends you, go nationwide Sparta!!!
Also, what else is Twitter for?

He thinks he’s Tanmay Bhat.
Others think he’s Tan may not Bhat.
‪#‎TanmayRoasted‬

A day will come when Twitter will outrage because there is no outrage that day.

#‎AlastairCook‬
Debuted at 21, 10K Test runs at 31.6.
‪#‎Tendulkar‬
Debuted at 16, 10K Test runs at 31.10.
Bigger news than Tanmay?
‪#‎JustAsking‬

Modi is the only person you can attack bindaas in India without any fear of serious backlash.
You will get tonnes of support in fact.
‪#‎FoS‬

Stage 1: Manufacture opinion.
Stage 2: Manufacture news.
Stage 3: Manufacture outrage.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru