Category Archives: Short Takes

Every day is a Sonday 2…

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Once when I ended a theological argument with the sweeping statement, “God can do everything,” my son mischievously said, “God can’t do one thing, which man can do.”
“What’s that wise guy,” I asked.
“Pray to God,” he answered smugly.
When I gave him a blank look, he continued, “We can pray to God can’t we? But I don’t think God can pray to himself!”

***

My son has a priceless concept of Action Replays in real life. Anything you missed him doing or he did in school is enacted out in a painstakingly slow action replay from different angles.
Once when he was playing cricket with his friends and batting, an argument broke out on whether the ball had hit the stumps or not. “Wait,” he told his friends, “let me show you the action replay.” He did such a convincing action replay of the ball just missing the stumps by a whisker, that his friends actually believed him and he was declared not out unanimously.

***

He made me find out on the Net the name of the largest dinosaur that ever walked on this planet. When I told him, he ran to his mother and said, “Jaldi khana do, mere pet main sauroposeidons daud rahe hain!” (Give me food fast, there are sauroposeidons running in my stomach!)

***
I was watching a song of Rajesh Khanna and Sharmila Tagore, when my son asked, “Who are these people?” I told him that one was Akshay Kumar’s father-in-law and the other was Saif Ali Khan’s mother. He looked at me and said incredulously, “No way!” He doesn’t understand how that can be possible. But after that day, every old movie is starring Kareena Kapoor’s grandfather or Sunny Deol’s father or Ranbir Kapoor’s mother… If a yesteryear’s star is not related to one in today’s Bollywood world, he finds that pretty odd.

***

After I explained him all about cloning, the only thing he said was, “When I was born, why didn’t you make a clone of me? He could have done my homework while I could play all the time!”

***

© Sunil Rajguru

Short Takes February 2010

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· All Hail to Holi: The Festival of Equality. Everyone looks the same today.

(February 28)

· If there is such a thing as Colour Pollution, then Holi is it.

(February 27)

· India’s numerous victories are leading to more injuries. Just look at the players jumping on to each other and lifting up each other after every win!

(February 26)

· Why FB beats Twitter: I can put 200 exclamation marks:

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

!!!!!!!!!!

· Sachin tum Sau nahin Do Sau saal jiyo!

· Sachin Ramesh Doubletondulkar

· Dear Twitter, for today, please allow 200 characters per message :)

· Actually it was just a Sau Sau innings

· Nightmare thought. What if Dhoni had hit 6 boundaries in the last over!

· Watching live on TV at home!!! Power returned when he was on 196! #wherewereuatsachin200?

· 200dulkar!

(February 24)

· Ad: Phir dil do hockey ko… Reality: Phir paisa do hockey players ko…

(February 19)

· Protest against Pak players. SRK protests. Protest against Aussie players. Protest against Andhra venues. Protest against Modi. Media houses protesting. Orissa venues protest… IPL = Indian Protestors League

· The ODI WC Final is a Destination. Once you win that, you stay for 4 years. The Test No. 1 Spot on the other hand is a Journey. So let’s hope the Indian Journey is Long & Memorable.

· Dhoni’s Test average as Captain is 72. (ODI average as Captain 59) Usually when an Indian player becomes a captain, we lose a good batsman. In this case, we gained one.

· Why we won: SA treated this match like a Test WC Final. So then they promptly went ahead and did what they are best at: Choking. OK, Just Joking. India’s Rocking. So is Amla.

· An eye for an eye, an innings defeat for an innings defeat…

(February 18)

· Rain rain go Away, Come again another Day, Little India wants to Stay (No. 1)

(February 17)

· The Sehwag Doctrine: Test match ho ya One-Day, Roz maaro chakke…

(February 15)

· No update for some time Reason #2343: Someone threw garbage and burnt it near the BSNL cable, which melted and had to be replaced. Silicon Valley, India, circa 2010

(February 13)

· My Name is 24-Hour Coverage

(February 12)

· From now on a new breed of VVIPs will be given extra security. VVIP= Very Very Important Picture (Is there any policing left for the common man?)

· Raj to Uddhav: I protested Amitabh, you SRK. Amitabh > SRK, therefore, I > You, Hence proved

· Buzzing In The Wind: How many social networking roads must a man walk down, before he turns totally insane?

(February 11)

· How many more Plastic Surgeries on the Face of Facebook? I won’t be able to recognize it any more.

(February 10)

· Next directive from Aussie Cops for Indian Students: Please use Fair & Lovely regularly to blend in with the locals. Thank You!

(February 8 )

· Raj took away the spotlight from Bal. Udhav took the spotlight away from Raj. And they all took the spotlight away from the real issues of Maharashtra.

(February 5)

· Coming Soon: Indo-Pak Talks Part 345. Next Change: Talks Collapse Part 345. Then a Storm and a Lull, More Talks, Another Break… ad infinitum…

(February 4)

· In India, People are bent on making the Tigers extinct. In Maharashtra, the Tigers are bent on making all the Other People extinct.

(February 2)

· IPCC = Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Controversies

· Don’t the Tigers know that the Pakistani Cricketer is already on the Endangered Species list? Best to leave them alone.

· With the way it’s been going for the last couple of years, he should change his name to: My Name is Controversy

(February 1)

© Sunil Rajguru

January 2010 Short Takes

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· I’ve been following American cartoons for some time now and I must admit, Obama is giving George W Bush stiff competition. He’ll get the cartoonists’ vote in 2012.

(January 24)

· Bangladesh helped us by taking 10 quick wickets. Otherwise India might have done 500 and with less time thanks to the fog and all, we would have drawn the match. Sehwag’s mental games worked.

· The theme of the 2012 US Presidential elections will still be “Change”. A Change from men who talk of change…

(January 21)

· There’s only one surge that has worked in the Af-Pak arena… “The Dollar Surge”… Dear US: Keep paying, keep bleeding, keep praying, keep wishing and keep getting fooled…

· Some people think if India stopped playing Cricket, then we’d miraculously start performing in other sports. It’s Mismanagement, Politics, Greed and Incompetence in all sports and not excessive focus on Cricket that’s the culprit!

· India-Australia is the new Indo-Pak of cricket rivalry. Pity that the hostility is spilling off the field too…

· Ignore Pakistan League

(January 20)

· Jab zinda hain to sirf kamzoriya dikhai deti hain… Jab zinda nahin hain to sirf acchai dikhai deti hain… Hum murdo ki puja karte hain aur zinda logo ki jaan lene pe tule rahate hain…

· What are we but virtually sum of our social networking accounts and email IDs…

(January 19)

· If one more Mobile player enters India, then the Spectrum will run for its dear life.

· Five Stars for Acting in 3 Idiots: A star each for Aamir, Madhavan, Sharman, Boman & Om Vaidya.

· When Sehwag’s bat talks, the opposition goes silent. When Sehwag talks, the Indian batting goes silent…

· That Nineties Feeling: The Indian batting order crashes for no reason and Sachin is the only Man left standing.

(January 17)

· Dada – Dravid ya ho Dhoni, Finals ki kahani wahi honi…

· When it’s much hotter, they scream: Global Warming! When it’s much colder, they scream Climate Change! When temeperature is normal, they scream: Will you just wait for something to happen and do nothing till it’s too late? You just can’t get the better of environmentalists…

(January 13)

· 1986. London. Hockey World Cup. India and Pakistan battle for the 11th place in a 12-nation tournament. India lose that too. That’s the day hockey died for me. I don’t know what to call the last 24 years.

· Indian Hockey. Goal: Chak De India… Obstacle: Cash De India… Result: Chuck De India. Country? What country?

(January 12)

· Lose ground to China. Lose plot with Pakistan. Lose spine with America. Lose all International strategy. This Government is sure one long episode of Lost.

· Kabhi Pakistan ne maara, kabhi China ne maara, kabhi Amrika ne maara, main hu India yaaro, mujhe har kisi ne maara…

· Hockey’s vicious circle — Players: Show me the Money. IHF: Show me the Victory.

· Chetan Bhagat ne ek vacant plot of land diya, jispe Hirani ne shaandar bungalow baandha…

· Give me some sunshine, Give me some rain, Give us some more such movies, That we can watch again and again… Lage raho Hiranibhai!

· There is not even one Idiot in 3 Idiots. Every character has given the performance of his life.

· 15 minutes of fame is passe. An On Demand 15 seconds of fame with 40 characters is in.

· The Australian Dictionary does not define India as a race and hence an attack on a person from that region is not Racist, hence proved.

· Baar Baar Khelo, Hazaar Baar Khelo, Ki Khelne Ki Cheez Hai, Indo-Lanka match, What Ho? (India, Lanka are almost a couple in cricket now)

(January 11)

· Breaking News: Aamir finally reads 5.someone and says: My God, it’s just like the movie! OK: Just joking, we’ve been made such Idiots, what’s one more idiotic statement anyway?

· For a generation which splurges thousands of Rupees at one shot, what is one paisa less per minute? Charge 25 paise more and give a top-class service/network/coverage and we’ll migrate just like that…

(January 7)

· Ever since Mamata became Railway Minister, train mishaps have spiked. I shudder to think what will happen when she becomes CM of West Bengal!

· All is Sales! Bhagat books re-selling like hot cakes, 3 Idiots doing Rs 300 crores.

· When Bollywood plagiarizes blatantly: All is Well! When they sign contracts and do things by the book: All Hell Breaks Loose!

(January 6)

· 2009 was definitely not the Year of the Tiger. Tiger Prabhakaran was shot down after decades. Tiger Woods had the worst image crisis of his career. The Indian Tiger was licked by the Chinese Dragon and US Democratic Elephant. Tiger Thackeray had a poor show at the elections.

(January 5)

· Chetan-3Idiots controversy is a win-win for all. Ticket sales up. Book sales up. TV channels get masala. We get a movie, book and a new tamasha to track.

(January 2)

© Sunil Rajguru

Short Takes December 2009

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· Today’s Wisdom: Stress pushes up cholestrol levels. Eating what you want makes you happy, hence stress-free. Eating what you don’t like stresses you, pushing up cholestrol. You do the Maths!

(December 29)

· When will the “Obama Hype Era” end?

· Thank God Headley is not being extradited to India. otherwise we would have had a Kasab Part 2

· The Kotla Pitch is actually the graveyard of the Future of Sporting ODI pitches in India. Now everyone will say: Make it Flat & Dead, let all the teams make 300-400. I’m Happy: You’re Happy.

(December 28)

· Tiger Woods has 14 major Pro titles in 10 odd years. And it was revealed that he had 14 girlfriends in 2009. Now that’s really balancing your personal-professional life perfectly!

· India finally has an answer to Tiger Woods: Tiger Tiwari!

· T… T… T… Telangana… T… T… T…Tiwari… T… T… T…Tera kya hoga re Andhra Pradesh?

(December 26)

· Dan Brown’s Lost Symbol should be called The Lost Plot (or The Lost Climax) (But I’m still a fan)

· Split Andhra… Split Jharkhand verdict… Split Home Ministry… This country has a splitting headache.

· A girl is molested. Her family is harassed. She commits suicide. More harassment. A 19-year wait. 6 months imprisonment. A 1000-Rupee fine. Justice Denied, Delayed, Mocked and Nullified?

· Overheard: Indian Fielder to Lankan Fielder: Tera haath mera haath se slippery kaisa? Raaz kya hain?

· Indo-Lanka Series Review: Matches 1&2: Batsman Star Wars. Match 3: The Bowling Empire Strikes Back. Match 4: Return of the Batting Jedis…

(December 25)

· Ah! I love the Cold Night Dew when India is chasing in a cricket match!

· A lesson on how to chase 300+ in singles.

· Mahi ke bina Way, Yuvi ke bina Raj! India all the way..

· Captain Dhoni and Matchwinner Yuvraj both missing. Cool! We’ll just do a Eden Garden Record Chase of 300+, Thank You!

· Will there be Tele-presence in Hyderabad, or will it go Independent?

· Dan Brown should write only the first 95% of each of his novels. The Final 5% he should leave to another writer, a good finisher. The results would be awesome.

(December 24)

· Andhra main sirf Telangana raaj karega… baaki sab issues gaye Tel lene…

· They recently discovered a planet with water. Cool! So if we ever run out of water, we have to travel just 40 light years to get some more…

(December 23)

· We are all waiting for the the Modern World’s First Big Environmental Global Disaster. Action will be taken after that. Till then enjoy life, bicker and rejoice compromises…

· Sometimes I think Kasab doesn’t exist & he’s a fictional character like Santa Claus

(December 22)

· Breaking News: The Copenhagen Summit just increased the temperature of the Earth by 0.00000000001 degrees!

· The Climate Meeting was a great success! We have agreed on the Agenda of the next Climate Meeting!

· Copenhagen. The Day After. Business as usual.

· If you really want to check climate change, then you don’t need a fancy summit at a fancy venue to do so.

· We will climb all the No. 1 pinnacles in cricket except the No. 1 in Fielding…

(December 19)

· Ek din ki chandini, phir andheri din/raat match hain…

· Change, like Charity, begins at home. But Climate Change, it seems, has to begin in the other person’s home.

· Golfer: OK, I’ll g… g… g… g…give up g… g… g… g…golf. Wife: The G word is Girlfriend you idiot, not Golf! Bye!

· Just like a Random Number Generator, the Twitter Home Page is a Random Message Generator

· Change Of Political Environment Not Happening Again, Greenbacks Ensure Nothing

(December 18)

· Kyoto. Bonn. Milan… Copenhagen… Venues anek. Nateeja ek?

· In the future, Tiger Woods will be respected and admired as the man who gave up both Golf and Girlfriends for his wife.

Googly Wave. Mere liye to woh ek Googly hi hain.

(December 15)

· For Google it was Brave, for most of us it was as dead as a Grave, anyone still want Wave?

· Looks like the slowdown has ended in India. OK! Now you can start wasting money, buying things you don’t really need and putting your money in highly risky money-making schemes.

· Dharti Maa hamse bahut naraaz aur ghusse se garam hain, isiliye Global Warming ho raha hain, sirf pradushan ke waje se nahin

· Pak’s employer is the US Govt. Their PR agency is the Taliban. Their policies are more about foreigners than citizens. Pak desperately needs a Second Independence.

· Post-Telangana, the concept of Mil baat ke khaayenge has been taken to a totally new level.

(December 14)

· So Tiger Woods is not in competition with Jack Nicklaus, Arnold Palmer etc, but with Bill Clinton, Hugh Hefner and Casanova.

· Facebookers of the world unite! You have nothing to lose but your brains!

· With the retirement of Bajaj Scooters, a Bit of the Old India just died.

· Raja says 3G in India is on schedule. He is right actually. He had probably scheduled it for 2015 in the first place.

· Green Summits aate hain, Green Summits jaate hain, par CO2 emissions wahi pe raha jaate hain…

· Indian Fielders were playing for Lankan Batsman. Lankan Fielders were playing for Indian Batsman. That’s one battle that the Lankan Fielders won.

· That’s why it’s called a Great Match. Our pathetic fielding was Matched by Lanka. India 211/11 beat Lanka 206/13

· Al-Qaeda can’t be defeated till Osama killed: US. That means if he’s already dead, then the US have already beaten Al-Qaeda, only they don’t know it.

(December 13)

· RGV is coming out with Rann 2 featuring the Telangana crisis. The theme song will be: Telan-Gana-Mana adhinayak jaya hain…

· Meri saas aspatal main. Biwi ghar chod ke chali gayi. Teesri, chauthi, paanchvi… (bolte rahahiye) aurat ka pol khul gaya. Ye sab shaurat, naam mitti main mil gaya… Main ek vishaal golfer bol raha hu, koi Ekta Kapoor character nahin!

· Angrez jaake 62 saal ho gaye, par “Divide and Rule” ka keeda ab tak Bharatvarsha ke system main buland hain…

(December 12)

· Very soon Farmville may demand statehood from Facebook (Which is already the 3rd biggest country in the world)

· From “Akhand Bharat” to Khandistan…

· KCR is the New Mahatma. Hyderabad is the New Chandigarh. Manmohan is the New Nehru.

· Change is inevitable. So is Climate Change. Change is resisted. So is Climate Change. Ultimately Change is accepted and adapted to. So will Climate Change be. Copenhagen will not even be able to reduce even the gas in the speeches of world leaders.

(December 11)

· Andhra Pradesh just went on a diet and shed a few districts. This fad may Fast catch on in other States.

(December 10)

· Sachin will retire from ODIs when he has 50 100s and a 100 50s.

· Carbon emissions 5% jyaada ho rahe hain, 5% kam karo… is-se vishaal duniya ko sacchi main kuch farak padega kya? Is Mother earth impressed?

· Woh Sikander hi dosto… kahalata hain… jyaada ICC anko ko jeetna… jise aata hain…

· Zimbly weight for thee Dubai griziz to enfold, eet eez note aze baed aze u theengk.

(December 7)

· South Africa were Test No. 1 for a record Less Time. Now that’s one record we don’t want to break!

· Don’t know if Copenhagen will reduce the Global Climate, but it has sure heated the Global Political Climate, especially in India.

· Dhoni ka hat-trick! At some point in his tenure, India has been No. 1 in T20s, ODIs and Tests!

(December 6)

· Great! After some decades, maybe a few hundred billion dollars and the loss of thousands of lives, the US is finally acting tough with Pak. (But is it really?)

· The Sehwag Saga… 309: The Fast & the Furious. 319: 2Fast2Furious. If not today, I’m sure that 3F3F will come one day…

· If the US wasn’t a friend of Pak, I think today Pak would have been much more balanced and developed…

(December 4)

·Bush let Osama get away because if he had caught him, then he would have had nothing left to do after that..

· Somewhere along the way, Sehwag lost his Test & ODI technique… so he simply decided to use his T20 technique in all forms of the game.

(December 3)

· 1 2 ka 4, 4 2 ka 1, yahi hain India ki ICC ranking ki kahani…

(December 2)

· “Change” has come in Indo-US ties. From “I Love Bush” it’s “I’ll do whatever Obama says”

(December 1)

© Sunil Rajguru

Contradictions of 2009

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“It was the best of times,
it was the worst of times,
it was the age of wisdom,
it was the age of foolishness,
it was the epoch of belief,
it was the epoch of incredulity,
it was the season of Light,
it was the season of Darkness,
it was the spring of hope,
it was the winter of despair,
we had everything before us,
we had nothing before us…”
The opening of A Tale of Two Cities by Charles Dickens, 1859

Barack Obama
It was the best of choices,
it was the worst of choices…
(+) Seldom have we seen a US Presidential candidate look so fresh and talk such sense with tonnes of charisma to boot. Obama won not because he was an African-American candidate, but because he represented a fundamental Change.
(-) Seldom have we seen a Nobel Peace Prize candidate who had done so little. I mean sure, this category has been controversial. But people have worked decades (or at least years) before they got it. Obama was a fortnight into the job when he was nominated.

Swine Flu
It was the greatest of threats,
it was the littlest of threats…
(-) When the scare came, all the media was full of dire warnings. Face masks were seen all across airports. Then those umpteen ads, banners, articles, statistics… One thought that millions would get affected and die of it.
(+) But what actually finally happened? It claimed about 10,000 deaths. While every single human life is precious, where does Swine Flu compare to Tuberculosis, AIDS, malnutrition…
Did you know? Every year, hundreds of thousands of people die of the normal flu.

Iceland
It was the best of economies,
it was the worst of economies…
(+) Pre-Recession. Its growth from 2003-07 saw it become a financial power and in 2008 it ranked Number 1 in the world in the UN Human Development Index, a sign of how developed a country really is.
(-) Post-Recession. At the beginning of 2009, the government fell over the way they handled the financial crisis. All three of the country’s major banks collapsed, making it relatively the largest sufferer of the recession. There was talk of Iceland going bankrupt as the national debt inched to the levels of Iceland’s GDP.

Pakistan and America
They were the best of friends,
they were the worst of friends…
(+) America and Pakistan are the best of friends. America consistently snubs India for Pakistan. America gives Pakistan billions of dollars, arms, concessions… Pakistan on its part fights terrorists and helps America as much as it can.
(-) The truth is that this is only what the two governments see and no-one else. Pakistan still harbours terrorists, and listens to America unwillingly. The Pakistan people hate America and the American people are suspicious of Pakistan. The alliance is getting more and more uneasy by the day.
Note: Not just a 2009 phenomenon, but goes way back.

The Government of India
It was the strongest of governments,
it was the weakest of governments…
(+) 2009 saw the Year of the Congress party when it reclaimed power at the centre stronger and wiser with the support of lesser allies. There was talk of coming to power alone in 2014. The BJP was vanquished at the centre and falling at the states. You can’t get stronger than that in today’s day and age.
(-) Yet the Congress found itself weaker than previous governments on the issues of the US, China, Pakistan and Climate Change. Their decision on Telangana is another sign of weakness and may have well opened another Pandorra’s Box on the further disintegration of states.

The Indian Cricket Team
It was the worst of teams,
it was the best of teams…
(-) In the 2009 T20 World Cup, the defending champions could not even make it to the Final 8! Could things get any worse than that! T20: Rock Bottom.
(+) 2009 was also the year when India attained the Number 1 ranking in both Tests and ODIs. Something unthinkable a few years back. ODI & Tests: Top of the Pops!

Sri Lanka’s Cricket Tour of Pakistan
It was the best of choices,
it was the worst of choices…
(+) When the perennial bad guys for Pakistan, arch-enemy India, pulled out of a tour, there were brickbats all over. Then Sri Lanka stepped in and took all the bouquets. They understood what it was to be a victim of terrorism and India was like a big bad brother for them too. Imran Khan said for the millionth time: A cricket team will never be attacked in Pakistan. There was great Lanka-Pakistan bonhomie.
(-) The brazen attack on the Sri Lankan team left the whole world shell-shocked. International cricket plunged to new depths. On hindsight: What was the Sri Lankan board thinking? They looked like they were trying to spite the Indian board. And was the attack meant for the Indian team in the first place? But the worst image was that of the PCB chairman fuming at a press conference as if they were the aggrieved party.

BJP Leader LK Advani
He was the strongest of leaders,
he was the weakest of leaders…
(+) For years, Advani strode like a colossus. The man who led the BJP from a mere 2 seats in 1984 to a sizeable number in the nineties… The man of the Rath Yatra… The New Iron Man of India… The man with no alternative after Vajpayee…
(-) That’s how he began the year. But he ended it at the nadir, becoming the so-called best Prime Minister which India never had. The BJP hurtled from one disaster to another and at the end of it was left with no issues, no strong leaders, no goodwill and no ideas. This was not supposed to be the Advani legacy …

© Sunil Rajguru

Short Takes November 2009

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· India and US are natural allies. But then the US always has unnatural choices.

· Is it me or is India suddenly getting very weak-kneed vis a vis US, China and Climate Change. Congress: Strong nationally, Weak internationally?

· Karl Marx died in 1883. China liberalized in 1978. The Berlin Wall fell in 1989. Russia launched shock therapy economic reforms in 1991. So what’s with West Bengal? Till when will their Laissez-faire last?

· In the last 5 years, there have been more Elvis Sightings than Osama Sightings.

(November 30)

· With the Smita episode, we finally have a Sasur-Bahu Saga.

(November 29)

· The Gulf’s Ivory Towers are sinking in Economic Quicksand. When Recession seems to be receding in one country, it goes on the ascendant in another one.

· Zardari wanted to be like Obama. But the way his poweres are diminishing, he’ll end up like Pratibha Patil.

· Sangh Parivar bikhra. Sena Parivar Bikhra. Kayam hain Gandhi Dynasty. Unka catchline: Majboot Pariwar, Nirnayak Sarkar.

(November 28)

· 26/11. A year on. We’re just as vulnerable. No new comprehensive strategy. Kasab still undergoing trial. The state and central Govts still the same! India never learns from its mistakes, where history repeats itself as a farce over and over again.

· Indo-Amrika Bhai-Bhai, beech main hain bas Pak ki Khai…

(November 25)

· I don’t understand China’s assertiveness: Manmohan. Nehru said the same thing and look what happened!

· 1992 was the Year that Babri Masjid was demolished. 2009 was the Year that the BJP was demolished.

· African Americans constitute 13.4% of the US population. Sikhs constitute 1.9% of the Indian population. It’s a great moment when two great leaders of the world’s two biggest democracies shake hands…

(November 24)

· I don’t think we would get the Nobel Prize for Filth. Somebody would beat us there too…

· Why is the ICC suppressing national teams playing T20s? Very few matches apart from the WC. On the other hand non-national team leagues are being done to death. But then again, contradictions define the ICC: International Committee of Contradictions.

· Reddy’s Philosophy: Everything is Mine. Yeddy’s Counter Philosophy: We are a team, there is no place for “Mine”.

(November 22)

· A report says that India’s population will be close to 2 billion by 2050. Where will the extra people live? Or will we be forced to have a billion NRIs at that point of time?

(November 21)

· Kabhi 32/4, Kabhi 412/4* (Sirf chaar din ka farak): Nobody Swings like the Indian Cricket Team, not even an old cricket ball…

(November 20)

· Bow to Japan, kowtow to China, dollar chow to Pakistan, no nuclear know-how for Iran and consistent dipolmatic pow-wow with India: The sum of Obama’s Foreign Policy.

· Maharashtra grew up in the nineties and was at its pinnacle. Now it is going through a mid-life-crisis. Hope it gets out of it and becomes wise and mature soon.

· First the Ore Commitee Threat and now the Core Committee Threat, Yeddy is still not out of the woods.

· Gold touches 17K (May go down). Sensex touches 17K (Has to go down). Sachin touches 17K (Atleast you know he’ll most probably touch 20K and stay there!)

(November 19)

· The weekend always seems so far off. And when it finally comes, it’s gone in a flash!

· Suna hain Teacher Amrika ne Bharat aur Pak ke jhagde ke liye Class Monitor Cheen ko niyukta kiya hain. Bharat Beta thoda mayoos hain kyuni use laga tha ki 2009 main kuch accha “Badlav” aane wala tha…

(November 18)

· Maharashtra has only one true Tiger. And he plays cricket. All the rest are pale imitations.

· A generation of cricketers learnt cricket watching Sachin on TV. Then that generation got a chance to play with Sachin in the team. Then that generation retired. And Sachin’s still playing…

(November 17)

· Coalition Delay Drama. Raj-Azmi. More MLA hungama. Kurban Protests… Is anyone even “thinking” about any of the real problems Maharashtra is facing right now?

· More Sachin landmarks: 30000 international runs. 500 ODIs. 50 ODI centuries. 100 ODI fifties. 100 first class fifties. 200 ODI 6s… The records will keep accelerating and the media will keep going crazy. Bear it Just for a few more years…

· Actually the truth is that Yeddy and Reddy got tired of fighting. They’ve taken a sabbatical. They’ll resume soon.

(November 16)

· Keep Crying. Keep Hugging. Keep Bitching. Keep Plotting. Keep Playing. Keep Acting. Keep Watching. Bigg Boss 3.

· In India, the more corrupt you are, the longer you live.

(November 14)

· If all our politicians suddenly went clean, then the Swiss Banking System would probably collapse and that country would go into economic depression.

· If our politicians pool in their black money together, then they could launch a separate country.

· The Google Wave just passed me by. Neither could I ride it and neither did it leave me wet.

(November 13)

· India finally has a counter to Rajneesh’s 93 Rolls Royces: Koda’s 600 bikes and 30 SUVs.

· Google should not have been so exclusive with Wave. You need lots of people to collaborate and right now there are too few people on Wave. A lot of people have switched off already as there’s nothing to do on Wave.

(11 November)

· Do you want to see your country win the 2011 World Cup? Then it’s not too late, you can still emigrate to Australia.

· Bangalore is the new London: Never leave home without an umbrella.

· While the dabbawallahs of Mumbai have reached Six Sigma, the efficiency of many darshinis in Bangalore would run them close.

· One day when India becomes 100% Internet Literate, will people like Shashi Tharoor be seen as legends?

· Question of the Son: AFTER getting the Nobel Peace Prize, can one do as much violence as one wants?

· The Chinese claim Arunachal as their own… so they should be happy that the Dali Lama is setting foot on Chinese soil…

(10 November)

· A few decades from now, when the Internet-addicted generation will start dying in large numbers, will inheritance of Inboxes and Social Networking Accounts be a big thing?

· Last choice Aussie bowler > First choice Indian bowler

· If Reddy is Ready, Yeddy is Steady.

(November 9)

· Is the Lotus slowly becoming extinct across India?

· The Hand has well and truly plucked the Lotus this year.

· Paisa<Rupee<Peti<Khoka<Koda

· Aussie Revival. Indian Decline. We were No. 1 for a day and couldn’t handle it. Aussies weren’t No. 1 for a few months and they couldn’t take it.

· If Obama actually visited Bangalore, saw the state of the roads and infrastructure, he would be tempted to give the $4 billion grant to Bangalore…

· When the Indian top order collapses, the Tail fires. When the top order is on song, the Tail presses the self-destruct button. Sigh!

· There seems to be no ReddyMade formula for the Karnataka Government Crisis.

· Looks like Bigg Boss 3 is a Crying Season Special.

(November 8 )

· Bush became an Oil Billionaire. Gore a Carbon Billionaire. Koda a Black Money Billionaire. To each his own, I guess…

(November 7)

· Tendulkar is the Rock Star of cricket. And all the commentators are his groupies.

· Bangalore is the Underpass capital of India. With so many rains all the time, hope they are floodproof!

· Karnataka Govt Race: Reddy! (not) Steady! (Yeddy will) Go!

· Progress in cricket. Before we used to sometimes self-destruct 50-100 runs before the end, now we do so 2-3 runs before the target.

(November 6)

· Deja vu! Tendulkar falls just 19 short of the target. Scores a brilliant century. Breaks another record. India lose the match anyway.

· Code of Koda: Apna Sapna Money Money

(November 5)

· Let’s have an Obama Day… A day when all day we will talk and talk good things but actually do no work.

· There is an old English saying: An ounce of image is worth a pound of performance. Obama has a pound of image, which translates into an apparent ton of performance.

· Reports say Obama is getting thinner during his Presidency. I’m not surprised: Talking burns a lot of calories.

(November 4)

· In Google Wave, you can do Multiple things like chat, email, upload photos, files, blog… with Multiple people over Multiple periods and replay it all in the end. Personally, that would give me Multiple headaches. Wave is totally ahead of “my time” atleast…

(November 3)

· Robin Singh sacked. India gives one of their best days on the field. A tribute? The law of averages catching up? We don’t need a fielding coach?

(November 2)

· After 2.5 years, he’s still Captain Cool and Captain Courageous. At this stage most Indian captains in the past have looked quite jaded or simply retired. World No. 1 for a record number of weeks + Victories galore = Still most people don’t rate him as a great all-time batsman!

(November 1)

© Sunil Rajguru