Short Takes November 2009

· India and US are natural allies. But then the US always has unnatural choices.

· Is it me or is India suddenly getting very weak-kneed vis a vis US, China and Climate Change. Congress: Strong nationally, Weak internationally?

· Karl Marx died in 1883. China liberalized in 1978. The Berlin Wall fell in 1989. Russia launched shock therapy economic reforms in 1991. So what’s with West Bengal? Till when will their Laissez-faire last?

· In the last 5 years, there have been more Elvis Sightings than Osama Sightings.

(November 30)

· With the Smita episode, we finally have a Sasur-Bahu Saga.

(November 29)

· The Gulf’s Ivory Towers are sinking in Economic Quicksand. When Recession seems to be receding in one country, it goes on the ascendant in another one.

· Zardari wanted to be like Obama. But the way his poweres are diminishing, he’ll end up like Pratibha Patil.

· Sangh Parivar bikhra. Sena Parivar Bikhra. Kayam hain Gandhi Dynasty. Unka catchline: Majboot Pariwar, Nirnayak Sarkar.

(November 28)

· 26/11. A year on. We’re just as vulnerable. No new comprehensive strategy. Kasab still undergoing trial. The state and central Govts still the same! India never learns from its mistakes, where history repeats itself as a farce over and over again.

· Indo-Amrika Bhai-Bhai, beech main hain bas Pak ki Khai…

(November 25)

· I don’t understand China’s assertiveness: Manmohan. Nehru said the same thing and look what happened!

· 1992 was the Year that Babri Masjid was demolished. 2009 was the Year that the BJP was demolished.

· African Americans constitute 13.4% of the US population. Sikhs constitute 1.9% of the Indian population. It’s a great moment when two great leaders of the world’s two biggest democracies shake hands…

(November 24)

· I don’t think we would get the Nobel Prize for Filth. Somebody would beat us there too…

· Why is the ICC suppressing national teams playing T20s? Very few matches apart from the WC. On the other hand non-national team leagues are being done to death. But then again, contradictions define the ICC: International Committee of Contradictions.

· Reddy’s Philosophy: Everything is Mine. Yeddy’s Counter Philosophy: We are a team, there is no place for “Mine”.

(November 22)

· A report says that India’s population will be close to 2 billion by 2050. Where will the extra people live? Or will we be forced to have a billion NRIs at that point of time?

(November 21)

· Kabhi 32/4, Kabhi 412/4* (Sirf chaar din ka farak): Nobody Swings like the Indian Cricket Team, not even an old cricket ball…

(November 20)

· Bow to Japan, kowtow to China, dollar chow to Pakistan, no nuclear know-how for Iran and consistent dipolmatic pow-wow with India: The sum of Obama’s Foreign Policy.

· Maharashtra grew up in the nineties and was at its pinnacle. Now it is going through a mid-life-crisis. Hope it gets out of it and becomes wise and mature soon.

· First the Ore Commitee Threat and now the Core Committee Threat, Yeddy is still not out of the woods.

· Gold touches 17K (May go down). Sensex touches 17K (Has to go down). Sachin touches 17K (Atleast you know he’ll most probably touch 20K and stay there!)

(November 19)

· The weekend always seems so far off. And when it finally comes, it’s gone in a flash!

· Suna hain Teacher Amrika ne Bharat aur Pak ke jhagde ke liye Class Monitor Cheen ko niyukta kiya hain. Bharat Beta thoda mayoos hain kyuni use laga tha ki 2009 main kuch accha “Badlav” aane wala tha…

(November 18)

· Maharashtra has only one true Tiger. And he plays cricket. All the rest are pale imitations.

· A generation of cricketers learnt cricket watching Sachin on TV. Then that generation got a chance to play with Sachin in the team. Then that generation retired. And Sachin’s still playing…

(November 17)

· Coalition Delay Drama. Raj-Azmi. More MLA hungama. Kurban Protests… Is anyone even “thinking” about any of the real problems Maharashtra is facing right now?

· More Sachin landmarks: 30000 international runs. 500 ODIs. 50 ODI centuries. 100 ODI fifties. 100 first class fifties. 200 ODI 6s… The records will keep accelerating and the media will keep going crazy. Bear it Just for a few more years…

· Actually the truth is that Yeddy and Reddy got tired of fighting. They’ve taken a sabbatical. They’ll resume soon.

(November 16)

· Keep Crying. Keep Hugging. Keep Bitching. Keep Plotting. Keep Playing. Keep Acting. Keep Watching. Bigg Boss 3.

· In India, the more corrupt you are, the longer you live.

(November 14)

· If all our politicians suddenly went clean, then the Swiss Banking System would probably collapse and that country would go into economic depression.

· If our politicians pool in their black money together, then they could launch a separate country.

· The Google Wave just passed me by. Neither could I ride it and neither did it leave me wet.

(November 13)

· India finally has a counter to Rajneesh’s 93 Rolls Royces: Koda’s 600 bikes and 30 SUVs.

· Google should not have been so exclusive with Wave. You need lots of people to collaborate and right now there are too few people on Wave. A lot of people have switched off already as there’s nothing to do on Wave.

(11 November)

· Do you want to see your country win the 2011 World Cup? Then it’s not too late, you can still emigrate to Australia.

· Bangalore is the new London: Never leave home without an umbrella.

· While the dabbawallahs of Mumbai have reached Six Sigma, the efficiency of many darshinis in Bangalore would run them close.

· One day when India becomes 100% Internet Literate, will people like Shashi Tharoor be seen as legends?

· Question of the Son: AFTER getting the Nobel Peace Prize, can one do as much violence as one wants?

· The Chinese claim Arunachal as their own… so they should be happy that the Dali Lama is setting foot on Chinese soil…

(10 November)

· A few decades from now, when the Internet-addicted generation will start dying in large numbers, will inheritance of Inboxes and Social Networking Accounts be a big thing?

· Last choice Aussie bowler > First choice Indian bowler

· If Reddy is Ready, Yeddy is Steady.

(November 9)

· Is the Lotus slowly becoming extinct across India?

· The Hand has well and truly plucked the Lotus this year.

· Paisa<Rupee<Peti<Khoka<Koda

· Aussie Revival. Indian Decline. We were No. 1 for a day and couldn’t handle it. Aussies weren’t No. 1 for a few months and they couldn’t take it.

· If Obama actually visited Bangalore, saw the state of the roads and infrastructure, he would be tempted to give the $4 billion grant to Bangalore…

· When the Indian top order collapses, the Tail fires. When the top order is on song, the Tail presses the self-destruct button. Sigh!

· There seems to be no ReddyMade formula for the Karnataka Government Crisis.

· Looks like Bigg Boss 3 is a Crying Season Special.

(November 8 )

· Bush became an Oil Billionaire. Gore a Carbon Billionaire. Koda a Black Money Billionaire. To each his own, I guess…

(November 7)

· Tendulkar is the Rock Star of cricket. And all the commentators are his groupies.

· Bangalore is the Underpass capital of India. With so many rains all the time, hope they are floodproof!

· Karnataka Govt Race: Reddy! (not) Steady! (Yeddy will) Go!

· Progress in cricket. Before we used to sometimes self-destruct 50-100 runs before the end, now we do so 2-3 runs before the target.

(November 6)

· Deja vu! Tendulkar falls just 19 short of the target. Scores a brilliant century. Breaks another record. India lose the match anyway.

· Code of Koda: Apna Sapna Money Money

(November 5)

· Let’s have an Obama Day… A day when all day we will talk and talk good things but actually do no work.

· There is an old English saying: An ounce of image is worth a pound of performance. Obama has a pound of image, which translates into an apparent ton of performance.

· Reports say Obama is getting thinner during his Presidency. I’m not surprised: Talking burns a lot of calories.

(November 4)

· In Google Wave, you can do Multiple things like chat, email, upload photos, files, blog… with Multiple people over Multiple periods and replay it all in the end. Personally, that would give me Multiple headaches. Wave is totally ahead of “my time” atleast…

(November 3)

· Robin Singh sacked. India gives one of their best days on the field. A tribute? The law of averages catching up? We don’t need a fielding coach?

(November 2)

· After 2.5 years, he’s still Captain Cool and Captain Courageous. At this stage most Indian captains in the past have looked quite jaded or simply retired. World No. 1 for a record number of weeks + Victories galore = Still most people don’t rate him as a great all-time batsman!

(November 1)

© Sunil Rajguru

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