Congress versus Cyberspace 2

· 1975: Emergency. 2012: e-mergency.
(e=electronic, a la “email”)

· Hindi-Chini bhai-bhai,
Censorship ki ek hi ladai.

· While Congress is the Chief Online Blocker, Mamata is the Chief Offline Blocker.
Ram milaaye jodi, ek andha (can’t see the reality) aur ek behari (doesn’t listen to anyone).

· Congress Pre-1947: We will give you freedom.
Congress 2012: We will take away your Internet freedom.

· The UPA has finally implemented Right to Reject and Right to Recall.
Only it refers to rejecting and recalling websites on the Net.

· Twitter: A social networking platform.
Tweeple: People who Tweet.
Twits: Those who want Twitter banned.

This version by Sunil Rajguru

Congress versus Cyberspace

· Dear Government,
Trying to get the Internet constipated?
You’ll only end up with a full blown case of diarrhea attack upon you!

·The 4Cs that are Cutting the Congress: Cyberspace. CAG. Civil Society. Courts.

·We will eradicate Partition pain: Nehru.
We will eradicate poverty: Indira.
We will eradicate Twitter, Facebook: Manmohan.

·When there’s a war, cities undergo blackouts.
The Government wants blackouts in cyberspace before it attacks further.

·Advisor: There is a real problem of Bangladeshi illegal immigration into India.
Government: We are more worried about the problem of Twitter &FB’s illegal immigration of ideas into Indian thought.

·1975: When the media was asked to bend, they crawled.
2012: When the Government looked, the media (MSM) were already crawling in the first place!

·Congress: Twitter has 140 shady characters.
Twitter: Congress has more than 140 shady characters in its ranks.

·Many countries have a Sense of Humour.
India has a Sense of Tumour, a cancer which is eating away at humour, creativity, free speech and expression.

·MMS is a chuha in real life (doing nothing) and a Singham in cyberspace (banning everything left right and centre).

·Quota Politics. What after 5 SMSes a day limit? 5 status messages a day limit? This current government exceeded its quota of good ideas years back.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

UPA bashing of the day…

· I have a strong feeling that the Congress leadership has a game every morning to select “Idiot of the Day” and that person entertains TV channels and trends on Twitter for the day.

· Whenever the US is under threat, a 100 random lives get killed for no reason.
Whenever the UPA is under threat, a 100 random websites get killed for no reason.

· Hamam main sab nanga,
Par usme bhi
Congress sabse changa.
(Actually ye hai bahati corruption ki Ganga).

∙ Q: Aap ka dhan ka kaalapan ka raaz kya hai?
UPA: Hum roz Coalgate ka istemaal karte hai!

∙ Coal is a fossil fuel.
The UPA is full of fossils and has no more fuel to run any more.

· Manmohan’s personal symbol is the Lotus. He’s squeaky clean but surrounded by tonnes of mud.
(No wonder the BJP hate him so much!)

· Rahul is a Twit whose exploits have been ReTwitted in cyberspace a million times.
Boy will he Trend when he becomes PM!

∙ Million dollar Baby: Hollywood.
$100 Billion Dollar Baby: UPA Scams.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Congress versus Twitter…

· UPA model governance…
Problem: 5 lakh displaced in Assam. Violence in Mumbai & Lucknow. Scare in Bangalore.
Solution: Ban 6 fake PMO Twitter accounts and impose 5 SMS limit.

· MMS’s biggest achievement of the year has been to ban 6 fake PMO Twitter accounts.
Now he can get back to doing nothing.

· Congress ka Opposition BJP.
BJP ka Opposition English news channels.
English news channels ka Opposition Twitter-Facebook.
Twitter-Facebook ka Opposition Congress.

· You can Fake it in the bedroom, but you can’t Fake it on Twitter.
—(Fake) PMO directive.

· I’m jealous of the fake PMO Twitter accounts! I wish I could be so outspoken and popular! Off with them!—Fake Manmohan Singh quote.

· Contradiction alert: Our PM is a fake.
How can you have a fake Twitter account of a fake PM?

· Twitter: We are real Tweeple with feelings!
UPA: And we are just plain Twits.
Facebook: We have a real genuine face too!
UPA: And we are just plain two-faced.

· PMO Fake Twitter accounts are Really good fun.
PMO Real Twitter account’s Faking interest in the country.

·UPA logic…
There are 6 million counterfeit CDs: Leave them!
There are 6000 fake NGOs: Leave them!
There are 6 fake PMO Twitter Accounts: Arrest them immediately!

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Today’s musings on Coalgate and other scams…

∙ Ole TV show…
Sawaal dus crore ka.
New UPA-CAG reality show…
Sawaal dus lakh crore ka.

∙ Some very large numbers…
Centillion, Millinillion, Icosillion, Googleplex, Googol, Size of UPA Scams…

∙ The 3Cs against the Congress: CAG, Civil Society & Courts.
The 1C for the Congress: Corruption.

∙ Sonia has by far the greatest ROI in the Nehru-Gandhi dynasty.
With a minority share (145 & 206) of Lok Sabha seats, she has presided over a dictatorial government with the greatest scams.

∙ CAG Power=Coal, Aviation, Generations of mobile telephony, Power scams

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Power grid failure musings…

∙ How many UPA ministers does it take to change a light bulb?
It doesn’t make any difference, there’s a permanent blackout anyway!

∙ North is North and East is East,
And together the twain shall trip.

∙ Darkness at Noon was written by Arthur Koestler.
The UPA has written three sequels…
Darkness at Dusk.
Darkness at Midnight.
Darkness at Dawn.

∙ Power corrupts.
Absolute power corrupts absolutely.
And even without power, Manmohan has presided over an absolutely corrupt ministry.

∙ In his Darkest moment, Sushilkumar Shinde sang, “Country roads take me Home…”

∙ America is a Superpower.
Russia is a Former Superpower.
China is an Emerging Superpower.
India is a Superpower Cut.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru