Congress versus Cyberspace 2

· 1975: Emergency. 2012: e-mergency.
(e=electronic, a la “email”)

· Hindi-Chini bhai-bhai,
Censorship ki ek hi ladai.

· While Congress is the Chief Online Blocker, Mamata is the Chief Offline Blocker.
Ram milaaye jodi, ek andha (can’t see the reality) aur ek behari (doesn’t listen to anyone).

· Congress Pre-1947: We will give you freedom.
Congress 2012: We will take away your Internet freedom.

· The UPA has finally implemented Right to Reject and Right to Recall.
Only it refers to rejecting and recalling websites on the Net.

· Twitter: A social networking platform.
Tweeple: People who Tweet.
Twits: Those who want Twitter banned.

This version by Sunil Rajguru

Congress versus Cyberspace

· Dear Government,
Trying to get the Internet constipated?
You’ll only end up with a full blown case of diarrhea attack upon you!

·The 4Cs that are Cutting the Congress: Cyberspace. CAG. Civil Society. Courts.

·We will eradicate Partition pain: Nehru.
We will eradicate poverty: Indira.
We will eradicate Twitter, Facebook: Manmohan.

·When there’s a war, cities undergo blackouts.
The Government wants blackouts in cyberspace before it attacks further.

·Advisor: There is a real problem of Bangladeshi illegal immigration into India.
Government: We are more worried about the problem of Twitter &FB’s illegal immigration of ideas into Indian thought.

·1975: When the media was asked to bend, they crawled.
2012: When the Government looked, the media (MSM) were already crawling in the first place!

·Congress: Twitter has 140 shady characters.
Twitter: Congress has more than 140 shady characters in its ranks.

·Many countries have a Sense of Humour.
India has a Sense of Tumour, a cancer which is eating away at humour, creativity, free speech and expression.

·MMS is a chuha in real life (doing nothing) and a Singham in cyberspace (banning everything left right and centre).

·Quota Politics. What after 5 SMSes a day limit? 5 status messages a day limit? This current government exceeded its quota of good ideas years back.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

UPA bashing of the day…

· I have a strong feeling that the Congress leadership has a game every morning to select “Idiot of the Day” and that person entertains TV channels and trends on Twitter for the day.

· Whenever the US is under threat, a 100 random lives get killed for no reason.
Whenever the UPA is under threat, a 100 random websites get killed for no reason.

· Hamam main sab nanga,
Par usme bhi
Congress sabse changa.
(Actually ye hai bahati corruption ki Ganga).

∙ Q: Aap ka dhan ka kaalapan ka raaz kya hai?
UPA: Hum roz Coalgate ka istemaal karte hai!

∙ Coal is a fossil fuel.
The UPA is full of fossils and has no more fuel to run any more.

· Manmohan’s personal symbol is the Lotus. He’s squeaky clean but surrounded by tonnes of mud.
(No wonder the BJP hate him so much!)

· Rahul is a Twit whose exploits have been ReTwitted in cyberspace a million times.
Boy will he Trend when he becomes PM!

Million dollar Baby: Hollywood.
$100 Billion Dollar Baby: UPA Scams.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Congress versus Twitter…

· UPA model governance…
Problem: 5 lakh displaced in Assam. Violence in Mumbai & Lucknow. Scare in Bangalore.
Solution: Ban 6 fake PMO Twitter accounts and impose 5 SMS limit.

· MMS’s biggest achievement of the year has been to ban 6 fake PMO Twitter accounts.
Now he can get back to doing nothing.

· Congress ka Opposition BJP.
BJP ka Opposition English news channels.
English news channels ka Opposition Twitter-Facebook.
Twitter-Facebook ka Opposition Congress.

· You can Fake it in the bedroom, but you can’t Fake it on Twitter.
—(Fake) PMO directive.

· I’m jealous of the fake PMO Twitter accounts! I wish I could be so outspoken and popular! Off with them!—Fake Manmohan Singh quote.

· Contradiction alert: Our PM is a fake.
How can you have a fake Twitter account of a fake PM?

· Twitter: We are real Tweeple with feelings!
UPA: And we are just plain Twits.
Facebook: We have a real genuine face too!
UPA: And we are just plain two-faced.

· PMO Fake Twitter accounts are Really good fun.
PMO Real Twitter account’s Faking interest in the country.

·UPA logic…
There are 6 million counterfeit CDs: Leave them!
There are 6000 fake NGOs: Leave them!
There are 6 fake PMO Twitter Accounts: Arrest them immediately!

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Today’s musings on Coalgate and other scams…

∙ Ole TV show…
Sawaal dus crore ka.
New UPA-CAG reality show…
Sawaal dus lakh crore ka.

∙ Some very large numbers…
Centillion, Millinillion, Icosillion, Googleplex, Googol, Size of UPA Scams…

∙ The 3Cs against the Congress: CAG, Civil Society & Courts.
The 1C for the Congress: Corruption.

∙ Sonia has by far the greatest ROI in the Nehru-Gandhi dynasty.
With a minority share (145 & 206) of Lok Sabha seats, she has presided over a dictatorial government with the greatest scams.

∙ CAG Power=Coal, Aviation, Generations of mobile telephony, Power scams

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Power grid failure musings…

∙ How many UPA ministers does it take to change a light bulb?
It doesn’t make any difference, there’s a permanent blackout anyway!

North is North and East is East,
And together the twain shall trip.

Darkness at Noon was written by Arthur Koestler.
The UPA has written three sequels…
Darkness at Dusk.
Darkness at Midnight.
Darkness at Dawn.

∙ Power corrupts.
Absolute power corrupts absolutely.
And even without power, Manmohan has presided over an absolutely corrupt ministry.

∙ In his Darkest moment, Sushilkumar Shinde sang, “Country roads take me Home…”

∙ America is a Superpower.
Russia is a Former Superpower.
China is an Emerging Superpower.
India is a Superpower Cut.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru