Category Archives: Indian Politics

NaMo Hyderabad rally musings…

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Hyderabad: Pay Rs 5 for a Modi Express speech and be left speechless.
Rest of India: Pay Rs 500 for Chennai Express and be left brainless.

Modi: Yes we can!
Congressman to Pappu for the umpteenth time: Sir please become our PM candidate and attack Modi head on!
Pappu: No I can’t!

Congress Stage 4 Rocket to attack Modi speeches…
Stage 1: Pata nahin kya bolega aaj!
Stage 2: Sigh! Kitna accha bolta hai ye re!
Stage 3: Huddle. Huddle. Huddle Kuch nahin mila aaj bhi!
Stage 4: Chhodo. Just attack him strongly randomly as usual!

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Musings on Manmohan Singh the great economist…

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Cash for votes scam and Nuclear Deal came together.
Instead of nuclear energy being kick started, it was the scams that went critical and became a chain reaction to blow up the economy.

What are the chances?
1991: Manmohan lays the foundation stone for India’s new economy.
2014: Same person lays its tombstone.

Once Oxbridge used to build nations, today they destroy them.
‪#‎MMS‬ ‪#‎Pappu‬ ‪#‎Khurshid‬ ‪#‎Mani‬
Once Harvard alumni used to build the economy, today they destroy it.
‪#‎Bush‬ ‪#‎Chidu‬ ‪#‎ZeroLossSibal‬

Manmohan…
The only man to have given 1300 official speeches and still said nothing.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Indian soldier hai na!

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For citizens…
War? Indian soldier hai na!
Insurgency? Indian soldier hai na!
Earthquake? Indian soldier hai na!
Counter-terrorism? Indian soldier hai na!
Flood? Indian soldier hai na!
Any type of dirty work? Indian soldier hai na!

For politicians…
Punching bag? Indian soldier hai na!
Scapegoat? Indian soldier hai na!
Pak-appeasement? Indian soldier hai na!
Arre baba Indian soldier ko kabhi to defend karo!—Nahi na!

India’s motto…
The Indian soldier will always defend citizen, but the Indian politician will never defend him.

© Sunil Rajguru

The poverty of Pappu 2…

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Nehru: We will end poverty and ignorance.
Pappu: Poverty is a state of mind and ignorance is bliss.

Descartes’ mantra to humanity…
I think therefore I am.
Pappu’s mantra to the poor…
I think I am rich therefore I am.

I think the time has come for someone to write the ultimate Indian joke book: Thus Spake Pappu or PappuShastra or ‪#‎PappuNama‬…

The thin line between Confidence and No Confidence has just been renamed the Poverty Line.
‪#‎PappuBoltaHai‬

The “poor” have been officially redesignated as simply those who “lack confidence” and thereby the Congress has finally achieved its goal of 100% poverty eradication in India.
‪#‎GareebiHatGayi‬

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Political musings of the day…

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Politicians: Servants of the People.
Government officials: Servants of the servants of the People.
Aam Aadmi: Servants of the servants of the servants of the People.
Note: Who are these mysterious “People” that the Constitution keeps talking about?

Dear Congress,
In the 1970s, the Opposition took to strikes, extreme violence and even bombs.
Aren’t peaceful protests and Internet Humour much better than that?

Congress slogans…
1970s: Gareebi Hatao.
Post-Food Bill: Gareebi Hat Gayi.
Now all the focus can be on: Modi Hatao.

Q: Why’re you issuing Clean Chits to everyone including even Pakistan?
A: Hehe. Sorry. We’ve used up all our Guilty Chits on Modi and have none left!

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

The wish that came true…

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Sometime in the past…
Young Indian citizen: Oh God! I’m tired of these illiterate, uneducated, crooked politicians who have no understanding of the economy ruling the country. Give an educated and understanding outsider for a change!

God: Tathastu!
Let me prepare someone… Rank holder… Oxford… Cambridge… PhD… United Nations… Planning Commission… RBI… economic whiz… honest… clean… sincere… There that should do it!

Sometime now…
Old Indian Citizen: Hey bhagwaan! Ye kis gadhe ko bhej diya hum pe raaj karne!

<Divine facepalm>

Moral: Be careful what you wish for. You might just get it!

© Sunil Rajguru