The Congress motto…
We don’t want opinions.
Only minions.
Overheard in the Congress…
Ye survey kya hota hai?
Hum to sirf madam way jaante hai!
Opinion polls?
If they had their way, they’d ban the 2014 Lok Sabha polls!
Inside the party they want umpteen spokespersons.
Outside the party they only want silent persons.
My way or the highway.
+ My way not the survey.
= Opposition party is a Fascist.
These versions by Sunil Rajguru
They can’t ban Modi.
So they are trying to ban Modi supporters.
They can’t ban opinions.
So they are trying to ban opinion polls.
New Congressi theme song…
Ae mere watan ke logon,
zaraa aankh main bhar lo paani,
jo Modibhakt hue hain unki,
khatam karo poori kahaani…
At any time in a clock it’s either AM or PM.
At any time in the MSM or Social Media, it’s either AM or PM.
(Anti-Modi or Pro-Modi)
#KapilSibal challenges #NaMo to debate.
Problem: Someone in the Light Flyweight category cannot challenge someone in the Heavyweight division.
1977: Anti-Indira.
1989: Anti-Rajiv.
2014: Anti-Modi.
First time a whole election campaign is around the Opposition Leader and not the sitting government.
Modi 24X7, Modi Today, Modi Now, The Times of Modi, Modi Express, The Modi Times, Aaj Modi, Modi India, The Modi…
These versions by Sunil Rajguru
Is it a joke? Is it a farce? No, it’s Pappuman!
With great power comes great stupidity.
Here I come to save yesterday.
I am the law. (In the Congress party at least!)
I’m the slowest man alive.
I am sworn to protect a world that hates me.
I am the worst there is that I know.
These versions by Sunil Rajguru
It’s tough to catch an Indian politician committing a crime.
If caught, tougher to chargesheet him.
If chargesheeted, even tougher to convict him.
If convicted, even more tough to uphold conviction in all higher courts.
Finally, even if the Supreme Court convicts him, then all he has to do his convert his prison cell into a virtual hotel room and bide his time to enjoy a relaxed retired life with all that black money.
In all of this where’s the punishment and where’s the reform?
So the question is, why won’t an Indian politician scam, loot, murder and be super arrogant?
© Sunil Rajguru
India invented the Zero.
Then it re-invented it with Pappu.
Advisor: Every time you open your mouth, we lose 1000 votes.
Pappu: So what do I do now?
Advisor: No problem. You reached zero long back. There’s no negative voting, so lage raho Pappubhai!
The man who is writing Pappu’s speeches is killing him.
If he writes his own speeches then it’s a case of suicide.
In 2009, most constituencies Pappu visited voted for the Congress.
In 2014, most constituencies Pappu will visit will never vote for Congress ever again.
Pappu just gave his greatest speech ever on TV channels.
(Since there was no audio, no-one could quite find any fault with it)
Pappu has set the bar so low for himself that if he becomes PM, then his every little achievement will be celebrated with pomp.
Nice strategy!
Q: Pradhan Mantra kaisa ho?
A: Narendra Modi jaisa ho!
Q: Aur Pradhan Mantra kaisa na ho?
A: Pappu.
Diggy Raja’s foot partially eclipsed his mouth.
If Pappu becomes PM, eclipse will be total!
These versions by Sunil Rajguru
Please don’t call Manmohan a lame duck PM.
A lame duck at least has one good leg!
America…
The AmaZing SpiderMan.
India…
The AmaSingh ScammerMan.
US spymasters have 100GB of silence in their tapes.
Manmohan should protest immediately!
These versions by Sunil Rajguru