Category Archives: Indian Politics

More AAP destruction musings…

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First time Kejriwal quit in 49 days.
This time everyone else will quit in 49 days.

Information + Entertainment = Infotainment.
AAP + Nautanki = AAPotanki.

Media equality…
Modi gave “good governance” in Gujarat.
Media focused on everything else.
Kejri gave “zero governance” in Delhi.
Media focused on everything else.

One media owner to another…
Hamne Kejri ko 2013 main banaya aur invest kiya aur ab tak ROI aa raha hain!

Kaun kambakht kehta hai ki Hitler mar gaya!
Aam Aadmi Ram Prasad Sharma on the latest Golmaal.

Sholay—Loha loha ko kaat-ta hai.
AAP ka Sholay—Sting sting ko kaat-ta hai.
Nautanki nautanki ko kaat-ta hai.
Leader leader ko kaat-ta hai.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

When AAP decided to press the self-destruct button…

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Kejri…
2013—Bharashtachar ko jala kar raakh kar doonga.
2014—Modi ko jala kar raakh kar doonga.
2015—YoYa aur PrBh ko jala kar raakh kar doonga.
2016—Delhi ko jala kar raakh kar doonga.

In defence of Kejriwal, if I had to listen to Yogendra Yadav’s sanctimonious moral lectures day in and day out then even I’d lose my bearings.

I’m from IIN—Kejri.
I’m from IIN—YoYa.
I’m from IIN—PrBh.
I’m from IIN—Ashu.
Voter—Sasura ye IIN kya hai?
A—Indian Institute of Nautanki!

Next AAP cabinet expansion to include…
Sting Minister.
Dissent Minister
Spin Minister.
Nautanki Minister.
Dharna Minister.
TV Studio Minister.

Altaf Raja is back.
He should do a song on AAP…
Tum to thehre nautanki,
(voter ka) saath kya nibhaoge!

Smart. Absolutely nobody is asking about free WiFi, power and water reforms along with concrete anti-corruption drives.

AAP Mental Wrestling Federation Undisputed Champion…
Round 1: Kejri beats Anna.
Round 2: Kejri beats Shazia-Binny-etc.
Round 3: Kejri beats Bedi.
Round 4: Kejri versus YoYa+PrBh.

The stages of struggle…
1. Mujhe chahiye Swaraj (from corruption).
2. Mujhe chahiye Swaraj (from Congress).
3. Mujhe chahiye Swaraj (from Modi).
4. Mujhe chahiye Swaraj (from Kejriwal).

AAP gave a bad manifesto: Got 28 seats.
AAP gave bad governance: Got 67 seats.
After this nonsense they’ll probably get 71/70 seats next time.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Pappu musings will never stop…

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Superheroes…
Pappu—Mr India.
Sonia—The Shadow.
Kejriwal—Lord Chaos.
Sibal—Agent Zero.

Congress: India is becoming a Police State!
P.S. Had we won in 2014—Then India would have become a Pappu State.

Height of chamchagiri…
Then—India is Indira. Indira is India.
Now—Calling Pappu’s refusal to fill a basic form as espionage, lack of political freedom and even stalling Parliament.
‪#‎RahulSnoopFarce‬

Still no sign of Pappu!
At this rate people will wonder if he exists or he is just a fictional character.

Like the Ordinance Pappu probably tore up the personal form.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

How the AAP stings…

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If Kejri’s landline goes Ring Ring, how does his mobile go?
A: Sting Sting!

What do AAPians download on their mobiles?
A: Sting Tones!

What is Kejri’s favourite movie?
A: Sting is King.

What is Kejri’s most potent weapon against the opposition?
A: Stinger Missile.

What search engine do AAPians use to search for stings?
A: Microsoft Sting.

Ninja Hattori goes Ding Ding Ding Ding Ding Ding…
Ninja Kejri goes Sting Sting Sting Sting Sting Sting…

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Whatever happens, Manmohan is Mr Clean, OK?

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When a fake story of a PM wearing a Rs 10 lakh suit came, tremendous outrage.
When a real story came of a PM causing a loss of Rs 2 lakh crore—well that’s OK!

Corrupt (adjective): Having or showing a willingness to act dishonestly in return for money or personal gain.
(Sticking on to PM’s chair = Personal gain.)
Usage: Manmohan Singh is corrupt to the core.

CWG scam—Off with Kalmadi!
2G scam—Off with Raja!
Coalgate—Err… ummm… the Coal Minister/Prime Minister is such a sweet fellow na?

Bolo Manmohan beta, C for Coalgate.
Manmohan: Nahin! C for Clean chit from madam. So there!

Pahele chori. (UPA2’s Coalgate, 2G, CWG, etc etc etc)
Fir seena zori. (‪#‎MarchForManmohan‬ ‪#‎IStandWithMMS‬)

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

AAP’s free promises explained…

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We will provide 15 lakh CCTV cameras (for our 15 lakh AAP supporters to conduct non-stop stings), free Wi-Fi (so that the 15 lakh stings may be passed about seamlessly), free power (so that the computers and mobiles never go off during these sting operations) and free water (so that hum sab chullu bhar paani main doob sake 2020 main).

Meanwhile our Internal Lokpal will be busy adjudicating these stings and never have time to focus on real issues and at the same time we will give millions of hours of free entertainment to all the hundreds of TV channels in India so that they will never ever focus on our governance or political misdeeds.

(Come to think of it, we should register ourselves as an entertainment company instead of a political party and we’d all be multi-billionaires in no time!)

© Sunil Rajguru