Category Archives: Indian Politics

Raj karega Kejri baba musings…

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After frothing in the mouth over India’s really bad political parties, Anna Hazare decided to gift us the worst ever.
‪#‎AAP‬

Tum mujhe khoon do, main tumhe azaadi doonga.
—Netaji.
Tum mujhe support do, main tumhe AAP doonga.
—Annaji Hazare.

When it comes to celebrations, beat this…
Spends tonnes of money to advertise nationwide nothing done in a municipality.
‪#‎Kejri‬

AAP did not aspire to be different.
It aspired to be worse than the worst politicians of the land.

Jinke sheeshe ke ghar hote hai—unhe pathar nahin fekne chahiye.
Kejri: Isi liye maine bulletproof glass ka istemaal kiya hai!
‪#‎ShootAndScoot‬

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Modi Modi Modi musings…

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The issue is not when ‪#‎AccheDin‬ came.
The real issue is that ‪#‎BureDin‬ came for them on May 16, 2014.

No matter how much law and order breaks down in Bihar, UP and WB, they will find a wayto blame Modi.
‪#‎Mathura‬

There was no alternative to Nehru and he ruled till death for 17 years.
If the Opposition doesn’t get its act together, forget 2019, Modi will win 2024 too.

#‎Dadri‬
The crux of the issue is the total break down of law and order under Akhilesh 2012 onwards being blamed on Modi 2014 onwards.
In the long run, Bihar ‪#‎JungleRaj‬ will also be Modi’s fault.

Phase I.
Congress. Second Front.
Phase II.
Congress. BJP. Third Front.
Phase III.
BJP. Second Front.

2010s—The candidate with the most Twitter following usually wins.
‪#‎Obama‬ ‪#‎Modi‬ ‪#‎Cameron‬ ‪#‎Erdogan‬
As of now Trump leads Hillary by 2 million.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Congress crisis musings…

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If you support Kejri, you are an honest sincere human being.
If you support Pappu you are neutral.
But if you support Modi you are communal, Fascist and irrational.

Congress workers renamed a toilet after Rishi Kapoor under the following scheme…
Rajiv Gandhi Shauchalya Ka Naam Badlo Yojana.

Modi approval ratings 2014-19…
Aam junta: 2/3rds approve.
‪#‎AdarshLiberals‬: 2/300ths approve.

The Congress Priyanka ‪#‎2019Polls‬ dilemma…
Get her in too soon and she gets exposed.
Get her late and voters already decided to give Modi second term.

A severe Congress reshuffle would mean…
Senior President: Sonia.
Senior Vice President: Rahul.
Junior Vice President: Priyanka.
Mascot: Vadra.

In 2009 they told us Sonia best bet for India.
In 2014 they told us Mera Pappu Mahaan.
In 2019 they’ll say Priyanka greatest ever.

Congress then…
How can Amitabh share the stage with a person like Modi!
Now…
How can Modi share the stage with a person like Amitabh!

I am ready to die for Sonia.
I pledge allegiance to Sonia.
Madamji at your feet.
Arundhati isn’t an independent and mobile republic, Sonia is!

Madhavrao Scindia-Rajesh Pilot left us.
Pranabda is Prez.
No really strong Chief Minister.
Let’s face it. Pappu’s still the best bet.

1885-1920: Indian National Congress
1920-48: Congress (Mahatma)
1948-66: Congress (Nehru)
1966-2014: Congress (Indira)
2014-__: Congress (Pappu)

Dare to think beyond Dynasty?
Sonia should retire. Who should take over?
Pappu!
But Pappu has failed.
Priyanka?
Kucch naya socho!
Vadra?

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Really bad governance musings…

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Congress unleashed violence on CPM.
CPM unleashed violence on Trinamool.
Trinamool unleashing violence on BJP.
Looks like the way to pass on power.
BJP looks good for 2021.

Reduce power bills.
Mismanage to ensure power cuts.
Penalize power cos and compensate consumers.
In the process run out of both electricity and money.
‪#‎Kejri‬

Emergency protests produced some politicians worse than Indira’s lackeys.
2011 protests produced some politicians worse than Sonia’s lackeys.

Emergency protests.
Campus protests.
Anti-corruption protests.
They all end up being political recruitment camps.

Lalu-Rabri created the Jungle Raj of 1990-2005.
They loved him then, so why will they condemn Nitish-Lalu’s Jungle Raj 2?
‪#‎JungleRaj2‬

2015: Choose AAP, Save Delhi.
2020: By the time AAP is finished choosing its nonsense strategies, Delhi will be in need of saving.
2017: Choose AAP, Save Goa…

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Pappu banayega #CongressMuktBharat…

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In 1915, Mahatma “the first” Gandhi came to India and freed us from the Angrez.
A 100 years later Rahul “the last” Gandhi will free us from the Congrez.

Pappu and Modi are actually brothers in arms doing a joint operation called ‪#‎CongressMuktBharat‬
One from the inside and the other from the outside.

If Congress will win in 2019, India will be renamed Pappu Pradesh and the capital will be Vadra Nagar.

If the Congress had ruled continuously from 1947-2016, India would have been renamed Nehrudesh, the capital Indirabad and the moon would have been called Rajivchand.

You can go from Kasturba Gandhi Marg near Rajiv Chowk (within Indira Chowk) to Indira Gandhi Airport cutting the Mahatma Gandhi Ring Road for a flight to Rajiv Gandhi Airport and onto another Mahatma Gandhi Road there.
There are thousands of such route possibilities in India.

Online, Twitter wit finished off the Congress.
Offline, a bunch of Twits finished off the Congress.

In 2013 they declared Pappu as the future of Congress and proceeded to lose Rajasthan, Delhi, Maharashtra, Andhra Pradesh, Haryana, Telangana, Kerala, Assam (and of course Lok Sabha polls) since then!

IND(ira & son)IA

Congress Lok Sabha seats…
Nehru: 364, 371, 361.
Indira: 283, 352, 189, 374.
Sympathy waves: 404, 244.
Rajiv: 197.
Rao: 140.
Kesri: 144.
Sonia: 114, 145.
MMS: 206.
Pappu: 44.
In 2019 they can have Priyanka lead to ensure at least 20 seats.

#‎CongressMuktBharat‬ was actually launched by DMK’s CN Annadurai in Tamil Nadu in 1967.
They kicked out the Congress permanently that year.

Congress was the king of MLAs-MLCs from 1947 (with a brief blip in 1977) till Modi fully hit them.
Now BJP leads Congress 1147 to 972.

Time to rename ‪#‎GrandOldParty‬ as the ‪#‎PappuParty‬.
‪#‎CongressSinking‬ ‪#‎DynastyDaysEnd‬

Nehru ek. Gandhi anek.
Things named after Nehru-Gandhi anek X 1000.

#‎SoniaPappuBail‬
‪#‎IshratRevelations‬
‪#‎AgustaScam‬
‪#‎PCinSoup‬
‪#‎25terroristsFreedDisclosure‬
‪#‎2002AccusedNabbed‬
Paasa palating and how!

If the Congress comes back to power in 2019, it’ll be with a vengeance.
Forget Gandhi-Nehru, they may even start naming things after Vadra.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Kejri Delhi dubaayega musings…

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AAP should change name to BAAP.
So many AAP leaders/MLAs out on bail.
Bail Aam Aadmi Party.
They also think that they are everyone’s baap.
(Delhi will also need a bail-out with the way they are governing)

Piyush Goyal: Mere paas reforms hai, high productivity hai, rural electrification hai, solar augmentation hai, wind power hai. Tere paas kya hai?
Kejri: Mere paas danda hai!

Delhi ke bagal main UP ke bagal main Bihar ke bagal main WB.
Chaar Mukhya Mantri.
Chaar Modi Haters.
Chaar governance debacles.
Chaara Ghotala Guru.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru