Category Archives: Indian Politics

Congress musings…

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∙ Given enough time, Rahul Gandhi will claim the wheel was invented by the Congress while Diggy Raja will claim the dinosaurs were wiped out by the RSS.

∙ We believe in self-reliance: Congress, 1947.
We believe in Reliance: Congress, 2012.

∙ How to Spot who’s making the speech…
Crowds perplexed, can’t understand: Sonia Gandhi.
Crowds sleeping: Manmohan Singh.
Crowds amused, laughing: Rahul Gandhi.

∙ Every time Rahul Gandhi opens his mouth, Congress loses tens of thousands of votes.
That’s why Opposition will hope for polls in 2014 only.

∙ Rahul Gandhi will forever be No. 2.
His autobiography will be called Two Point Someone.

∙ The Gandhi pariwar are very uninteresting people.
Zero interest in everything it seems.

∙ If Rahul Gandhi becomes Prime Minister, then he will be the George W Bush of India, a rare delight for cartoonists, satirists and humour writers.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Yet More Kejriwal Musings…

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∙ Overheard…
Arvind Kejriwal: Ambani runs India, not MMS.
MMS: (Fumes, goes red in the face and screams) What slander Kejriwal! You are totally wrong! Everyone knows that Sonia runs India!

∙ Times started charging for coverage and it was called Paid News.
Kejriwal should now start charging media houses for his content: Reverse Paid News.

∙ Kar lo duniya mutthi main: Old Reliance.
Kar liya (politicians ki) duniya mutthi main: New Reliance.

∙ And in other news, Cyclone Kejriwal continues to hit the political coast…

∙ At this rate soon the Congress will hold a press conference and complain: Arvind Kejriwal is running this country!

∙ Ek hi scam allegation main Congress, BJP aur corporate (Reliance) ka naam.
Arvind Kejriwal’s Right to Equality.

∙ Everyone: Hah! Arvind Kejriwal! Old wine in new bottle!
Well, folks, Kejriwal is the only person in the country drinking wine it seems.

∙ No over-Reliance on either the Congress or BJP, vote for us: Arvind Kejriwal.Congress KLPD…

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Swinging between extremes…

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When it comes to speech in the ruling party in India, the top brass has verbal constipation and the spokespersons verbal diarrhea.

When it comes to corruption, there’s a constipation of action and a diarrhea of scams.

Same with policies and decisions: Either constipation or diarrhea, but never the right amount of shit.

They’re even trying to make our Free Speech constipated, but the result is always diarrhea.

This version by Sunil Rajguru

Congressi musings…

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· Congress Silent Trimurti…
Sonia: Doesn’t need to speak.
Rahul: Can’t speak.
Manmohan: Won’t speak.

· Congress FDI = Congress Finally Doing It.

· Going by recent Congress logic, they’ll simply say that a Rs 5 diesel hike will result in Zero Loss for the consumer.

· Thappad maaro to gaal pe Paanch Ungliyo ka nishaan.
Diesel ka Paanch Rupaiya ka thappad desh ke gaal par.
Sahi Congressi chinnh hai.

· Looks like the Congress-BJP Coal-a Wars will continue for quite some time.

· Congress, which was blocking all deliveries till now, has suddenly entered the slog overs.

· Goal achieved: Diesel hits a half-century.
Goal pending: Petrol hits a century.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Post price hike musings…

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· CONGRESS = Corrupt Opportunistic No-Gooders Registering Endless Supersized Scams.

· From now on all Price Hikes should be renamed as UPA Scam Subsidy for that is what they are. We are paying for the sins of this government.

· 6 cylinders a year?
Congress spokespersons should be limited to only 6 stupid statements a day, but even that is asking for the moon.

· UPA = Unlimited Price Augmentation.

· Live Free. Die Hard. Coal Free. Hike (Diesel/LPG) Hard.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Congress facts and figures: Real and abstract…

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Number of people controlling India’s destiny: 1 (Sonia Gandhi)

Number of years the UPA is going to loot the nation: 10

IQ of Rahul Gandhi: 100

Number of scams unearthed during UPA rule: 1,000

Number of tall claims made by Diggy Raja: 10,000

Number of nonsensical statements made by Congress spokespersons: 100,000

Number of times Meira Kumar has said Baith jaaiye in Parliament: 1,000,000

Numbers of Tweeple, Facebookers and Bloggers against the UPA: 10,000,000

Estimated number of corrupt people in India in excess of: 100,000,000

Number of people suffering under the UPA regime in excess of: 1000,000,000

Numbers of Tweets, status messages and verbal curses against the UPA: 10,000,000,000

Net worth of Indian billionaires in excess of: 100,000,000,000

Size of an average value mega scam nowadays: 1,000,000,000,000

Net worth of all scams combined in excess of: 10,000,000,000,000

Congress target for future scams: 100,000,000,000,000

© Sunil Rajguru