Category Archives: Indian Politics

Rahul musings…

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· I really admire Rahul Gandhi.
Among the class of people with absolutely no achievements, he is by far the humblest.

· Rahul: I’ll not marry.
Had Motilal taken this decision, the history of Independent India would have been unrecognizable from what it’s now.

· Rahul: I’ll not marry. I’ll not be PM.
Analysis: I’ve done nothing in the past. I am doing nothing in the present. I’ll continue doing nothing in the future.

· Sonia: Kyunki Bahu Bhi Kabhi Saas Nahin Banegi.

· What Rahul looks like saying: The Nehru-Gandhi dynasty ends with me.
What he is actually saying: The Nehru-Gandhi-Vadra dynasty continues.

· Subject: Rahul not to marry.
Movie claimed: Qurbani.
Actual movie: Bhai Ho To Aisa!

· If MMS is a night watchman, then Rahul is the over-hyped tail-ender who’s yet to come.

· Rajiv aur PM ki gaddi… pahale inkaar, phir pyaar… ab Rahul ki baari.

· Shaadi is political barbaadi, so stay single…
Vajpayee, Kalam, Rahul, Modi, Naveen, Mamata, Mayawati, Jaya, Uma…

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Wharton and Modi musings…

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· Modi on Wharton’s WIEF mindshare… I came, I didn’t speak, I still conquered.

· Mr Wharton went to Mr Modi and cried and said, Keynote Speaking is poison.

· In this country, you can’t criticize Sachin, praise Modi or investigate Sonia.

· With the Wharton cancellation, Modi denied even a virtual visa to the US.

· Congress: The Family has sacrificed so much for The Country.
Modi: The Country has sacrificed so much for The Family.

· Floated Question: Will the taint of Godhra ever leave Modi?
Real Question: Will the bogey of Godhra ever leave Modi baiters?

· In truth it’s the anti-Modi mafia which is Fascist, dictatorial and intolerant in nature while condoning all communal riots in all non-BJP states.

· BJP fights till kingdom come to declare PM candidate.
Congress is much more efficient.
Announce future PM candidate the moment a dynasty member is born!

· In WIEF, IE suddenly turned into T for a lot of Indians.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Congressi musings…

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· Every time Rahul Gandhi opens his mouth, the Congress loses a few thousand votes in some part of the country.

· The power of the Yuvraj: Sibal can only block websites, Rahul can block cities.

· The Foreign Hand is responsible for the destruction of India.
The Hand is the symbol of the Congress and it is totally Foreign to the aspirations of the aam aadmi.

· There is one area where Congress has gone from Videshi to Swadeshi: From blaming the Foreign Hand to the local RSS for everything.

· Free Railways WiFi will come with the message…
This bandwidth is brought to you by the Congress. You aren’t allowed to criticize us. Have a safe journey and avoid Section66A!

· Itna paisa daalte rahoge NREGA par to ek din Na Rahega paisa aur Na Rahega Congress.

· Yesterday: Ye desh hai Nehru ka, Gandhi ka.
Today: Ye desh hai Nehru-Gandhi dynasty ka.

· 2009: Left loses big at LS polls.
2011: Left loses West Bengal, Kerala.
2012: Rahul declares he will eradicate Left.
2013: Hence Left stages comeback beginning with Tripura.

© Sunil Rajguru

Free Speech musings…

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· Online: Comment. Go to jail. Like. Go to jail. Share. Go to jail. Draw cartoon. Go to jail. Criticize. Go to jail. Joke. Go to jail. (OR Get blocked).
Offline: Murder. Be free. Rape. Be free. Scam. Be free. Threaten. Be free. Riot. Be free.

· India is a country where making fun of a criminal on Twitter or Facebook makes you a criminal.

· Instead of Free News: Paid News.
Instead of Free Speech: Paid Speech, meaning you pay a heavy price if you exercise your right of Free Speech in India.

· Free Railways WiFi will come with the message…
This bandwidth is brought to you by the Congress.
You aren’t allowed to criticize us.
Have a safe journey and avoid Section66A!

· If there was an offline version of Section 66A for politicians, all of them would have been in jail by now.

· Do you believe in Free Speech?
Hillary Clinton: No I believe in Expensive Speech.
(5 speeches per million dollars, to be exact!)

© Sunil Rajguru

Political musings…

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· The Congress launched Garibi Hatao in 1971.
The people launched Congress Hatao in 1977, 89, 96 and 2014.

· Thanks to Dhoni becoming VP of India Cements, Rahul can’t even hope to be the hottest VP in India.

· In 2009, UPA1 became UPAWon.
But since then UPA2 is UPAThoo!
UPA3 will be UPAChee!

· Rahul’s latest: Yesterday night Bansal came and hugged me and cried, “IRCTC is poison!”

· Jaitley: BJP-Congress bhai bhai?
Pranab: BJP-Congress spy spy!

© Sunil Rajguru

It happens only in India…

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A woman who has absolutely no qualifications to speak of and who has been a housewife for most of her life is now the most powerful person in India.

A bureaucrat of financial matters with absolutely no grassroots support and who lost the only Lok Sabha elections he fought in his life is Prime Minister.

A lawyer who led many strikes in his youth which kept challenging authority all the way is now Defence Minister and in charge of the armed forces which are not supposed to challenge authority in any way.

A lawyer who represented the infamous Enron and who also once resigned from the Cabinet over his link with Fairgrowth (a company involved with a stock market scam) is now Finance Minister.

A former Sub-Inspector of police is now Home Minister and giving orders to the IGs and DIGs of India.

A career lawyer is the Communications IT Minister while an Electronics and Communications engineer is the HRD Minister. To assist the IT Minister, the Minister of State is an MBBS.

The Minister of State (HRD) is a foreign affairs expert.

A film star is Tourism Minister.

But in the past, this man set the all-time record…

A trade union activist, he became Industry Minister.
He led one of the biggest strikes of Indian Railways in 1974 and even lay in front of the tracks in front of a train and he subsequently became Railway Minister.
He fought authority all his life and protested against atomic bombs only to become Defence Minister and oversee the Pokhran-II atomic blasts, fully justifying them.

© Sunil Rajguru