When Lalit Modi ruled all the TV news channels…

Ek baar jo maine news manufacture kar di, uske baad to main khud ki bhi nahin sunta.
—Dabangg Arnab.

Legend says that if you stand in central London for long enough, then sooner or later you will bump into Lalit Modi.

Lalit Modi: Sports nahin…
Arvind Kejriwal: Politics nahin…
Pappu: Leadership nahin…
…sirf entertainment hi entertainment 24X7!

Indian Political League.
Lalit Modi can easily form 10 teams with all the politicians he wines and dines with.

Lalit Modi just launched the International Pandemonium League.
Nobody knows what the hell is going on anymore!

DLF IPL = Murkiest league of all time.
DLF owner son-in-law, Sonia daughter and former IPL chief meet in London amidst ‪#‎ArnabGate‬.
Congress: Coincidence! Coincidence! Coincidence!

Jab tak rahega samose main aloo,
Tab tak rahega Arnab ka resignation drama chaloo.

Next news hour will be…
Bhagwaan ke naam pe ek resignation de de re baba!

Kejri thinking…
Maine itna accha budget banaya!
Lalit ne overshadow kiya!
Koi na koi Modi hamesha meri vaat lagata hai!

It appears that 1 million people have met Lalit Modi, 1 lakh have helped him at some time or the other and 1000 do business with him on a regular basis.

Midas was not gold but turned everyone he touched into gold.
Lalit Modi is not tainted but turns everyone he touches into tainted.

Lalit Modi names BJP leaders.
–>LaMo! LaMo! LaMo!
Lalit Modi names Congress leaders.
–>Lame! Lame! Lame!

Arnab thinking….
2009: Stable Govt.
2010: I break CWG scam.
2014: I topple government.
Yippeee!!! Let me do it again!

Lalit Modi quotes on the Vadras…
Of all the gin joints in all the towns in all the world, they walk into mine.

NaMo ka driver ka bhai ka bhateeje ka maalik Lalit Modi se mila!
The Nation wants to know why! I demand NaMo’s immediate resignation!

Indian politics went batshit crazy in 2011.
4 years on, it’s still getting madder.

Narendra who?
Lalit is currently the most famous Modi around!

And then he told all the politicians…
May he who has never met Lalit Modi cast the first stone!
And they all stood in silence with their heads hung in shame.

Congress-Media: Sushma Swaraj is tainted!
(LalitGate begins)
Lalit Modi met Vasundhara Raje.
Congress-Media: Vasundhara Raje is tainted!
Lalit Modi met Robert Vadra.
Congress-Media: Lalit Modi is clean!
(LalitGate ends)

It’s just a matter of time before Lalit Modi releases a 1990s photo of him posing with Mother Teresa.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru