The AAP manifesto…

Hum Aam Aadmi hai.
(You know the Aam Aadmi of India wants perks, power & privileges and is a bit crooked too.)

Hum Adarsh waale log hain.
(You know, like the Adarsh scam.)

We respect women.
(We politely asked for their urine samples. The trouble started only after they refused.)

All chargesheeted politicians should be banned from politics.
(By the way all the chargesheets against us are false.)

Sheila Dikshit was a powerless CM who didn’t deliver results.
(Our situation is the same but then we are fighting Modi aren’t we?)

Modi is a dictator.
(So are we, but then its nullified because we are fighting Modi, right?)

We will solve all the problems of Delhi.
(But whatever went wrong after we came to power is because of Modi.)

We will give power, water, WiFi for free.
(But only if Modi gives all of that to us and that is why we are attacking him.)

There is too much violence in politics.
(But all our violence is against this very violence.)

We encourage criticism from our fellow party men.
(But first we kick them out of the party to make them free to criticize us.)

Please ignore the negatives and focus on our positives.
(For all our opponents, simply reverse this logic!)

Media should be put in jail.
(Only when they are criticizing us instead of praising us and promoting us for absolutely no rhyme or reason.)

It is our right to drive this country.
(Isn’t a u-turn part of driving?)

Every political party is arrogant, corrupt and relies for criminals.
(Including ours but we take the high ground because… because… well we have already taken the moral high ground haven’t we, so buzz off!)

Sonia is an angel and Modi is a dictator.
(I have taken my Supreme Leader’s permission to say this.)

Our motto is: Insaan se insaan ka ho bhaichara…
(But insaan sirf AAP main hote hain our woh bhi jo Supreme Leader ki baat maane.)

© Sunil Rajguru