Some typical Indianisms…

Voluntary Disclosure Income Scheme: A means of gathering money from crooks, thereby pardoning them, thereby creating a pool of money for even more corrupt schemes which can thereby create more crooks those who can then go ahead and redeem themselves when the next round of VDIS comes.
(Ad infinitum)

Party President: Ask the Prime Minister…
Prime Minister: As the concerned minister…
Minister: Ask the concerned officials…
Officials: It’s not our fault, media sensationalizing it, conditions are…
Elsewhere, the Buck stops some where.
In India, the Buck always plays a merry merry-go-round.

A Philosopher’s Worry…
What if none of this is true?
What if it is all unreal?
What if it was already decided by some higher entity?
A Cricket Fan’s Worry…
What if none of this is true?
What if it is all unreal?
What if it was already fixed by some top bookie?

© Sunil Rajguru

The truth about voting and party symbols…

Desh ne Panja ko vote diya.
Panja ne desh ko thappad maara.

Desh ne Kamal ko vote diya.
Kamal murjha gaya, keechad keechad raha.

State ne Haathi ko vote diya.
Haathi ne
state ko kuchal daala.

State ne Laaltein ko vote diya.
Satta main aate hi Laaltein bujh gaya.

State ne Teer ko vote diya.
Teer ne aam nagrik ko apna nishana banaya.

State ne Bicycle ko vote diya.
Bicycle ki tarah saare neta chod ke chal diye.

State ne Ghadi ko vote diya.
Ghadi satta main aate hi band ho gayi.

State ne Hammer & Sickle ko vote kiya.
Hammer ne sab ko thoka, Sickle ne progress ko hi kaat ke rakha…

© Sunil Rajguru

Contemporary Nursery Rhymes for Modern India

Ba Ba Black Marketeer, have you any onions?
Yes sir, yes sir, three bags full!
One for the hoarder, one for the middle man, one that’ll get rotten and thrown down the drain…
…but none for the little citizen who lives in India’s every lane!

Little Miss Gandhi,
Sat on a turret,
Counting her achievements of the day;
Along came a scamster,
Who sat down beside her,
and frightened her voters away.

Raja! Raja! Yes papa!
Eating spectrum? No papa!
Open your passbook.
Ha! Ha! Ha!

This version By Sunil Rajguru

Random Thoughts 26

• By the time we die, I’m sure we’ll be able to sum up our life story in 140 characters.

• A definition of Globalization:
If there was no corruption in India, then the Swiss Banking System would collapse.

• A thought for today:
Never judge a Friend by his Status Messages.

• Remember: In India, a politician’s RTC beats our RTI.
(RTC=Right to Corruption)

• Right now there are many scams going around in your neighbourhood, city, state and country. Since most of them are undetected and invisible, you sleep well.

© Sunil Rajguru

Bollywood thoughts for 2011…

Shahrukh Khan: Ye 3 Idiots ne abhi tak 3 Khans ko overshadow kiya hai. Doosra ekdum Dabangg hai. Main Teesra Maar Khan raha jaunga kya? Nowadays, everybody’s Name is Khan, even Akshay Kumar’s! Par kya main phir se Don banunga? Kya Ra.One Raavan to nahin ban ke rahajaayega, jab ki mujhe Robot chahiye!

Anil Kapoor: No Problem, main Bollywood Race main hu ya nahin, Hollywood hai na!

Akshay Kumar: Kahin meri jawani chali to nahin gayi? 2009 ek Kambakkht Tasveer thi aur De Dana Dan flops se main Blue raha gaya. 2010 main sirf ek House Full tha, baaki sab Khatta Khatta 2009 ka Action Replayy tha. Aur ye bhi pata chala hai ki main Khan nahin hu, aur who bhi Tees Maar…

Hrithik Roshan: Guzaarish hain ki 2011 main phir se ek Kati Kite ki tarah na raha jau…

Ajay Devgn: Once Upon a Time in 2010, main bana Bollywood Ka Super Hero, meri hi Rajneeti chali, koi Golmaal nahin! Abhi to dil jawan hai, Dil Toh Bachcha Hai Ji!

Abhishek Bachchan: Khela Main Jee Jaan Sey, phir bhi Raavan ban ke raha gaya aur abhi tak Paa ki saaya main hu. Kya mera Game 2011 main badlega? No Idea, sirjee!

Aamir Khan: Maine ghat ghat ka paani piya hai, ab thoda biwi ka Dhobi Ghat ka success ka paani pee lu!

Saif Ali Khan: Main kab se Kareena pe Kurbaan hu, main uska James Bond hu: Agent Vinod.

Ranbir Kapoor: Main Rockstar hu!

Rajnikant: Main kya soch raha hu, tumhe kya karna hai? Ye poori duniya hi meri soch hai! Sochna band karoonga to Bollywood hi gayab ho jaayegi, Mind it!

This version by Sunil Rajguru