12 differences between Western and Indian politicians…

Western: Change their needs to suit the party
Indian: Change their party (or alliance) to suit their needs

Western: Know the power of Development and go ahead with it
Indian: Pray that Development is just a passing fad

Western: Believe in politics of issues (before the people)
Indian: Believe in politics of issues (their children)

Western: Portfolios taken by subject matter experts. Professionals reach the pinnacle of their career with the portfolio.
Indian: Indian Roulette. The portfolio depends on who’s in line, tired of traveling, which ally has to be pacified in which way—subject matter expertise be damned!

Western: Film stars actively participate and endorse their choice of politicians
Indian: Film stars become politicians in large numbers (and promptly spend more time in front of the camera than in Parliament). In the South, you get to be Chief Minister.

Western: Number of politicians increase in Arithmetic Progression
Indian: Number of parties increase in Geometric Progression

Western: Know that they are below the law and try to circumvent it
Indian: Are the law

Western: Embarrassments and scandalmongers are kicked out or eased out
Indian: Embarrassments and scandalmongers are given plum ceremonial posts

Western: Dress to the occasion
Indian: Dress desi, think swadesi

Western: Forget past leaders, but practice their doctrines
Indian: Worship past leaders and damn their dreams

Western: Plan for the future
Indian: Live in India’s glorious and ancient past. What future?

Western: Try to capture the mind of the voters
Indian: Try to capture the booths of the constituencies

© Sunil Rajguru

20 New Facebook Definitions…

Facebook: Your brand new face in cyberspace.

Facebook Status Quo: When you don’t change your Facebook status for ages.

Facebook Equilibrium: When you have found the balance in usage of Facebook statuses, notes, quizzes… and squeezed it in your delicate work-life balance (if you had any in the first place).

Facebook Vacuum: That empty empty feeling when you haven’t seen your Facebook Homepage in ages.

Vacuum: Something that was there in your life before Facebook filled it ;)

Facebook Quiz: A lot of inane question made by Facebook Addicts who follow a totally non-scientific process to make you seem something that you actually aren’t but which everyone else in your Facebook Friends’ list sub-consciously starts believing.

Facebook Thumbs Up: I like you very much… eh err I meant your status, or link, or note, or…whatever that’s on your profile.

Facebook Thumbs Down: The dislike symbol, which officially a million Facebookites have asked for and I think the other 131 million don’t want.

What’s on your mind? Facebook’s gateway to your thoughts: The new “How are you” or “How are you doing” of cyberspace.

Facebook Note: A status message that goes way beyond 100 words (roughly the space that a status message will allow). Has the added advantage of tagging your friends.

Tag: Telling someone and his or her friends that you have written a note.

Facebook Cause: A tool that allows you to fight for a few hundred causes without even knowing what they actually stand for in the first place.

Facebook Profile: Your virtual multiple personality which resembles nothing like that of your real life one.

Facebook Home Page: Your cool adda, where you hang out with all your virtual friends.

Facebook Wall: The plainest form of communication on Facebook, resembling a chat message or small email.

Facebook Addict: The person who has written this note and probably the person who is reading this right now. Also known as Facebooker or Facebookite.

Facebook Enemies: They don’t exist. Everyone in your Facebook universe is either a friend or a friend of a friend or a friend of a friend of a…

Facebook Fatigue: Isn’t too much of even a good thing bad for you? ;)

Facebook Death: When someone in your friends list leaves Facebook.

Facebook Illiterates: The billions of poor souls in this world who are not on Facebook.

© Sunil Rajguru