Random Thoughts 21

• It was once said that if a hundred people repeated a lie a hundred times, it becomes a truth. Well, the Internet would put even Joseph Goebbels to shame. A million people repeat a lie in the form of chain letters, email forwards and other sundry articles a few million times and we have millions of untruths posing around cyberspace as truths. I don’t think anyone knows the definition of truth any more.

• There is an invisible undetectable device that slows down time on weekends and speeds them up on week days.

• America is run by billionaires. They call them industrialists.
India is run by billionaires. We call them politicians.

• Every Indian anchor thinks he’s a polished version of Hard Talk when he’s nothing but another version of Rude Talk.

© Sunil Rajguru

Random Thoughts 20

• How does a thing become eco-friendly if you paint it green? Don’t green paint and green ink also degrade the environment? Plus the sky is blue, snow is white, the oceans are blue, the sand is yellow…
The logo for Nature should be a rainbow, not green, which has lost all meaning anyway.

• In India a baby is born every second and a Breaking News item born every two seconds.

• Offline doesn’t mean Deadline.
24/7 online usually means that you are dead from the real world.

• Virtual Unreality: What the computer world actually is…
(Virtual is the opposite of real. Unreal is also the opposite of real… Two double negatives = ?)

• Old dilemma: Does he chuck or not?
New dilemma: Should he be called a chucker or not?

© Sunil Rajguru

Random Thoughts 19

• I’ve just completed another revolution around the Sun. Is that cause for celebration? Hum yuhi suraj ke chakkar kat-te rahate hain zindagi bhar aur khush rahate hain. Rotation + Revolution = Illusion that you are progressing meaningfully.

• They say that God makes someone for everyone. In India, there are 944 females for every 1000 males. Does that mean there’s no-one for 56 males out of every 1000? Or is that some kind of Gay indicator?

• When India loses miserably and they show the subsequent Highlights, shouldn’t they be called Lowlights instead?

• There’s a gastronomical gap in my life. My stomach can never keep up with my mouth.

• Don’t worry too much about your roots. You always carry them with you and can plant them wherever you want.

• If you take morning walks in India with a “Sar utha ke jio” attitude, then you’re sure to step on dog poop and other dirt or trip over something.

© Sunil Rajguru

Random Thoughts 18

• Six Degrees of Separation just got promoted to Five Degrees of Separation thanks to social networking!

• No matter which religion you follow in this world, there will be more people who do not follow that religion. So relax and make peace with your own God and live your own Life.

• Recently people are scared that Man created Life. But the biggest threat remains that of Man destroying Life.

• The only thing protected by Privacy is Facebook’s Privacy Laws—they are so obscure, dynamic and long that no-one actually knows what they are.

• Every poster remembering a politician has the phrase: “His vision lives on”. Yeah, that’s because no vision ever gets fulfilled in this country and continues to live on indefinitely…

© Sunil Rajguru

Random Thoughts 17

• You should get away from all Real and Virtual Humans from time to time to maintain your sanity.

• Cricket is a matter of life and death in India. So it’s really surprising how many times we fans have totally died and still continue to live peacefully and with hope.

• Elsewhere in the world, sport is religion. For Indian politicians, religion is a mere sport. Elsewhere in the world, work is religion. For Indian politicians, religion is work and a great and lucrative means of livelihood.

• It’s not the politician’s fault. His consumers are foolish voters and he is merely servicing them.

• It’s surprising how when faced with “Quit or Tweet” how many choose both.

© Sunil Rajguru

Random Thoughts 13

• Indian whitening creams are getting so effective that Dark Skin will be turned to Light. Light Skin will be turned to Pure White. And Pure White Skin? That’ll become Transparent… so that you may apply whichever colour you may to suit your day every day.

• News in India is broken so many times on so many channels every day that it’s a wonder it’s not in a trillion unbreakable pieces and dead by now.

• The stuff on Indian TV news channels is so trivial that we should coin a new term called TVial. TVia. TVial coverage. TVial pursuit…

• In India, people with noisy fans sleep well as they drown out all the other surrounding disturbing sounds.

• If a man is one in a million, then will he have a problem if he undergoes an operation where the chances of going wrong are one in a million?

© Sunil Rajguru

Random Thoughts 10

• Live every day as if it’s your last?
If I thought today was my last day, then I’d empty my bank balance and splurge, tell the world to go to hell (maybe even punch some enemies in the face)…
Then where would that leave me when I got up tomorrow and found that I wasn’t dead?

• “Oh God! Please make me a millionaire!” is a very dangerous prayer. You might go bankrupt and be left with just ten thousand Rupees. That’s a million paisa, ain’t it?

• If you are a bad boss, then never work from home or for yourself. You’ll only end up making your life miserable. For then you’ll be your own boss.

• I’ve got a sore wrist and aching fingers from watching bad TV.
(There are almost 200 channels and the battery of the remote is low!)

• The Sex God gives too much to too few and too little to too many.

© Sunil Rajguru

Random Thoughts 3

· All the roads, walls and grounds in India are public toilets. Our Nation should be renamed UriNation.

· Credit Cards should actually be called Debt Cards. Debt Cards and Debit Cards go well together.

· If horns and honking was banned on Indian roads, then most motorists would die of boredom and silence.

· Why call them Moral Police? Immoral Goondas would be better.

· Population Explosion? I think it has already happened in India and we are living in the Post-Blast Holocaust.

· It’s not death I’m scared of… it’s rebirth…

· Inventions keep continuously coming and make things easier and easier for us… then why is life getting tougher and tougher?

· The more you progress, the more time you spend working hard at doing nothing.

· Is Wikipedia turning into a Weakipedia?

© Sunil Rajguru