Tag Archives: Rahul Gandhi

Pappu and MMS musings…

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Jethmalani was a lawyer in 1942.
Advani was a politician in 1951.
Pappu was a kid in 1979.
Sachin was a cricketer in 1989.
Sigh! Some things never change!

Principle…
Buy one and get one free.
Example…
Vote for Sonia and get Manmohan for free.

If there was such a thing as autopilot to run the country, it would run better than the way it is being run now.

In 2004, Manmohan Singh was a trainee Prime Minister.
In 2008, he was still on Probation.
He was confirmed in 2009 and like all good government employees, promptly stopped working after that.

What if…
Rupee fir jawan ho raha hai, market fir uth raha hai, public memory short hai, so in 2014…
I’ll be back!
—Manmohan Singh.

CBI.
For Friends of Congress
= Criminal Bachao Institution
For Enemies of Congress
= Criminal Banao Institution.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Remixed election jingles for Pappu…

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Poora scam ka paisa khaayenge,
Congress ko jeetayenge.

Aadhi roti hawa main,
Pappu beta tawa pe,
Kya ye desh ki dawa hai?
Abbe kya tu daaru pee ke pada hai?

Na billi hain na parcha hai,
Bas Pappu ka hi charcha hain,
Par ye kya wakayi accha hai?
Kyunki ye to baccha hain,
Uska dimaag bhi kuch kaccha hai,
Ye sab solaah aane saccha hai…

Jab tak suraj chand rahega,
Bhrashtachar tera naam rahega,
Pappu beta tu kya karega?

Pappu hai aur Gandhi hai,
Chai ke pyaale main aandhi hai.

Pappu ka haath,
Aam aadmi ke saath,
Maro apne dimaag ko laat,
Aur lagao desh ki waat.

Pappu ko lana hai,
Congress ko bachana hai,
Bhale hi desh ko marwana hai.

Manmohan hatao aur Pappu ko lao?
Desh ko dubao, mewa khao,
Congress log naacho, kudo aur gaao.

Koi jaat, koi biradar,
Congress main sabhi barabar,
Unless you’re in the Gandhi biradar.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

The poverty of Pappu 2…

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Nehru: We will end poverty and ignorance.
Pappu: Poverty is a state of mind and ignorance is bliss.

Descartes’ mantra to humanity…
I think therefore I am.
Pappu’s mantra to the poor…
I think I am rich therefore I am.

I think the time has come for someone to write the ultimate Indian joke book: Thus Spake Pappu or PappuShastra or ‪#‎PappuNama‬…

The thin line between Confidence and No Confidence has just been renamed the Poverty Line.
‪#‎PappuBoltaHai‬

The “poor” have been officially redesignated as simply those who “lack confidence” and thereby the Congress has finally achieved its goal of 100% poverty eradication in India.
‪#‎GareebiHatGayi‬

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

The poverty of Pappu…

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Pappu says poverty is a state of mind.
Let’s kick the Congress out in 2014.
Then tell him: You are PM! Power is just a state of mind!

Pappu: Poverty is just a state of mind.
Comment: Strange statement coming from a person who has little understanding of both “poverty” and “mind”.
Diggy Raja: In his mind, Pappu is demanding a separate state for poverty.

What if Pappu became a stand-up comedian?
Wait a minute… he already is!
Now all his speeches make perfect sense!

What he actually said…
Poverty is a state (that is here to stay and I’m out of my) of mind.

You should celebrate Friendship/Women’s/Children’s Day 365 days a year.
Like Pappu celebrates April 1 365 days a year.

Rich man: Aaj mere paas building-e hai, property hai, bank balance hai, bangla hai, gaadi hai, kya hai tumhare paas?
Poor man: Errr… errr…
Pappu: State of mind… state of mind…
Poor man: Par mere paas to kuch bhi bahin hai. Khaana bhi nahin hai babu!
Pappu: Confidence… confidence… confidence!!!

P.S.
Dear Congress,
Jab Jab is desh main paap badhega tab tab jokes, memes, doctored pictures, spoofs, cartoons, parodies aur satires badenge.
Learn to live with it!

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Pappu musings…

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Tendulkar should have retired in 2011.
Advani should have retired in 2009.
Pappu should have retired in 2004.

What if?
2014: Modi becomes PM and proves effective.
2019: Anti-incumbency renders Pappu PM. Gets 5 years to play with his new toy: India.

Pappu wanted to email a particular spokesperson that he was designated.
He clicked Reply All by mistake and that’s why they are all speaking together.
Pappu stopped using email after that.No ministry of any kind at the State or Centre.

Straight away PM: Nehru, Rajiv and Chandra Shekhar.
Pappu is on the right track.

Dear Pappu,
Indian citizen ko gussa kyun aata hai?
A: Congress.
Gussa bandh karna hai to tu Congress chhod ya party gaddi chhode.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Pappu-Modi musings…

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How to become PM
Modi: Lifelong struggle up. Develop State. Win 3 mandates. Give rousing speeches. Fight media. Fight 24X7.
Pappu: Get born!

I am a Hindu Nationalist: Modi.
TV news analysis…
I am a: Huge ego.
Hindu: Communal.
Nationalist: Anti-national.
Modi: Hitler.

Modi: Mere paas teen teen mandate hai, development hai, social media hai, brilliant speeches hai, passionate supporters hai… tere paas kya hai?
Pappu: Why do you have so much anger? It must be brought down!

Q: Have you heard the nonsense of Pappu in textbooks?
A: Pappu himself is a textbook case of nonsense.

Sibal rubbishes Gujarat Model.
Simple.
The way he declared “Zero Loss” in 2G scam, all he has to do is declare “Zero Gain” in the Gujarat Model.
Elementary, my dear Sibal!

Think it over…
65 MPs refuse to accept the validity of a thrice elected Indian CM.
But 65 MPs accept the validity of a US President taking action against him.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru