Tag Archives: Rahul Gandhi

More Rahul Gandhi prime ministerial musings…

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· Nehru: 1947. Indira: 1966. Rajiv: 1984. Sonia: 2004.
A new dynasty member comes to power roughly every 19 years.
So here’s hoping Rahul comes not before 2023!

· Rahul Gandhi cannot even hope to be be the greatest Rahul ever.
(Dravid and RD Burman fans may agree.)

· Some said that Rahul Gandhi’s speech was his Obama moment.
Let him become PM and then he’ll have more George W Bush moments than Bush himself.

· Rahul Gandhi will definitely save the Congress. 100%.
That he will destroy India is another matter altogether.

· An Abhishek Bachchan movie, 2004: After 15 flops, he finally delivers a hit!
A Rahul Gandhi speech, 2013: After 15 flops, he finally delivers a hit!
P.S. You only get one chance in life, unless you’re part of an Indian dynasty.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Rahul Gandhi prime ministerial musings…

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∙ Rahul Gandhi: The man with Zero achievements, a Thousand speeches, a Million sycophants and who’ll one day rule a Billion lives.

∙ Rahul Gandhi could not be made “working” President because for that, he would actually have to “work”.

∙ Ae mere watan ke logon,
zara aakho main bhar lo paani,
desh shaheed hoga ab to,
kyu ki Rahul banega pradhan mantri.

∙ After 1991: Rahul was virtually No. 2.
When Sonia entered politics: Practically No. 2.
After 2004: Unofficially No. 2.
Now he’s officially No. 2.
So many promotions to stay in the same place!

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Rahul Gandhi musings…

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· Rahul: A man who defies age.
His thoughts are of a 10-year-old.
His “swift action” is of a 100-year-old.
His blabbering speeches are of a 4-year-old.

· Jinhe naaz hai Hind par woh kahan hai?
Then… Nehru: I fought for Independence, founded a nation, built things from scratch…
Now… Rahul: Err… umm… err… forget it, let me holiday.

· Rahul Gandhi-Rahul Dravid kuch jachta nahin hai.
He should have been called Rohit Gandhi.

· Modi, Kejriwal, Hazare, Nitish are all fighting and running like the hare.
Rahul is the sluggish slow on the uptake tortoise who will finally win the race.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Congress musings…

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∙ Given enough time, Rahul Gandhi will claim the wheel was invented by the Congress while Diggy Raja will claim the dinosaurs were wiped out by the RSS.

∙ We believe in self-reliance: Congress, 1947.
We believe in Reliance: Congress, 2012.

∙ How to Spot who’s making the speech…
Crowds perplexed, can’t understand: Sonia Gandhi.
Crowds sleeping: Manmohan Singh.
Crowds amused, laughing: Rahul Gandhi.

∙ Every time Rahul Gandhi opens his mouth, Congress loses tens of thousands of votes.
That’s why Opposition will hope for polls in 2014 only.

∙ Rahul Gandhi will forever be No. 2.
His autobiography will be called Two Point Someone.

∙ The Gandhi pariwar are very uninteresting people.
Zero interest in everything it seems.

∙ If Rahul Gandhi becomes Prime Minister, then he will be the George W Bush of India, a rare delight for cartoonists, satirists and humour writers.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Those lucky children of the dynasty…

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Life doesn’t give us all a second chance.

But Rahul will get at least 10 more chances to become PM.

(Read: Lok Sabha Polls)

P.S. Priyanka aur Robert ka number bhi aayega! Abhi haso, baad main jhelo.

P.P.S. 2012 main Pappu fail ho gaya, par agle baar zaroor pass hoga! (Nahin to uske agle baar, nahin to uske bhi agle baar… till 2050)

© Sunil Rajguru

2012 Assembly poll result musings…

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Maya: Sab Rahul ne bigaada!
Rahul: Ye sab Maya hai!

∙ Akhilesh: Mere paas UP hai, satta hai, power hai, , future hai, state main goonda log, minorities, even middle class, sab kuch mere paas hai… tere paas kya hai?
Rahul: Mere paas maa hai!

∙ The Congress glass is half-full/half-empty spin (Con)…
Detractors: The glass is 7/8ths empty
Cong: The glass is 1/8ths full.
(Roughly based on UP Assembly seat share)

∙ RAHUL will now stand for Rahul After Humiliating Uttarpradesh Loss.
Or maybe…
Rahul nahin Akhilesh Hain Uttarpradesh ka Lal.

∙ In UP, BSP will stand for…
Bahumat: Samajwadi Party.

∙ Looks like Rahul gave more speeches than seats that the Congress party won.

∙ How Rahul spectacularly succeeded…
Rahul through his aggressive campaigning opened the eyes of the voters to Maya’s misrule. That’s why they promptly went ahead and voted for the SP!

∙ The Law of the Diminishing Dynasty…
Rajiv: 404 LS Seats.
Sonia: 206 LS seats.
Rahul: Less than 50 UP Assembly seats (In alliance!).

© Sunil Rajguru