Never-ending Pappu musings…

First they ignore you, then they ridicule you, then they ridicule you again and then they ridicule you again and again and then they ridicule you again and again and again and then Modi wins.
—Pappu.

Worst Politician of India Award 2014…
Somnath Bharti and Pappu send in their nomination papers quite early in the year.

Congress leader: He is indecisive, clueless and confused. He doesn’t make any impact when he speaks. We are frustrated with him…
Sonia: Are you referring to Rahul or Manmohan?

Pappu ka sabse bada achievement LPG cylinders kiye nau se baraah.
Baaki sab main nau do gyaarah.

Bharat ek soch hai.
Congress ek soch hai.
Laloo ek soch hai.
Now I’m convinced that Pappu doesn’t exist.
Pappu sirf ek soch hai aur kucchh bhi nahin.

Raag Hindole: Dawn.
Raag Bhairav: Morning.
Raag Megha: Mid-day.
Raag Sri: Twilight.
Raag Deepak: Evening.
RaGa Pappu: Permanent night.

The rise and rise of Pappu…
2004: Trainee Prime Minister.
2009: Senior Trainee Prime Minister.
2014: Chief Trainee Prime Minister.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

If Pappu had to answer these questions…

Q1: What is the capital of France?
A: The French people should be empowered.

Q2: What is the capital of Maharashtra?
A: We have introduced RTI and through that we can get the answer.

Q3: Name the top 3 scams of UPA2.
A: We have introduced Lokpal and six more bills are pending.

Q4: What is the square root of 9?
A: The system to get this answer has very sound fundamentals.

Q5: Why are you doing business with a corrupt person like Laloo?
A: Laloo is an idea. An idea is just an idea and cannot be corrupt.

Q6: How is the Congress not involved in 1984 and the BJP involved in 2002?
A: Because the Congress not involved in 1984 and the BJP is involved in 2002!

Q7: What is exactly going on in your mind?
A: I am not sure it is possible for RTI to be used in all possible situations and that system is not very sound on fundamentals.

Q8: How will you give power to the people?
A: By empowering them.

Q9: What are your views on woman empowerment?
A: Women should be given power.

Q10: Why aren’t you engaging in a debate with Modi?
A: Yes, we can debate that.

Q11: What do you think of AAP?
A: Koi AAP nahin, koi main nahin, sirf hum hai.

Q12: You are answering none of the above questions.
A: It is only by strengthening the fundamentals of the questions and thereby changing their system that you can empower the answers and even that is not possible because there are really no answers but just ideas and ideas are open and not closed to the system and this I learnt from my father who learnt it from my grandmother and I think that will finally prove to you that Congress was not responsible for 1984 and BJP was responsible for 2002 and this would have been evident had you exercised RTI which we implemented while our Lokpal will ensure that such tragedies will never happen again and hence it is not necessary to debate Modi and so when you understand this answer, you will have understood a little bit about who Rahul Gandhi is and what Rahul Gandhi’s circumstances have been and if you delve into that you will get an answer to the question of what Rahul Gandhi knows and what he does not know and how he is going to open up a closed system by opening up his brain in such fashion and that’s how I see more energy in India and no energy in all the other political parties put together and that’s the idea that the Congress (which itself is an idea) gives to India (which is also an idea) and to put it finally, I have absolutely no idea what I am talking about and that pertains any idea whatsoever.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Yet more Pappu musings…

The Rahul Gandhi of Rahul Gandhi’s dreams is exactly like Superman, Batman and Spiderman.
(They are all fictional characters)

First they ignore you, then they ridicule you, then they ridicule you again and then they ridicule you again and again and then they ridicule you again and again and again and then Modi wins.
—Pappu.

If Pappu was a Brand Ambassador or a side actor in Bollywood, then I think I would really like him.
But a Prime Minister???!!!???

The fall of Pappu…
2009: Future PM.
2012: Will Modi checkmate him?
2013: Can he counter Kejriwal?
2014 headline…
Can he beat Kumar Vishwas in Amethi?

Charles is his inspiration.
At 65 he’s still a Prince to the Queen.
Pappu is just 44.

If Modi gives 9 great speeches then they’ll focus on the 10th lacklustre one.
If Pappu gives 9 stupid speeches then they’ll call the 10th above average one a masterpiece.

Star kids may get 15 flop Bollywood films before a hit.
Dynastic scions may get 15 flop elections before a success.

The contradiction…
The only way Pappu can re-invent the Congress is by removing the dynasty.
That is by removing himself.

I see only two categories of people cheering a Pappu speech…
1. Congressis.
2. TV reporters/anchors.

Premise…
I won’t vote for NaMo because of Namotards.
I won’t vote for AAP because of AAPtards.
Conclusion…
Vote for Pappu because there are no Papputards!

1919—Motilal Congress President, signals beginning of Nehru-Gandhi Dynasty.
Maybe Pappu is targeting 2019 to end the Dynasty.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

When Arnab interviewed Pappu…

The Arnab-Pappu interview is the interview of the century because now the Congress may never win again in this century.

He should now be renamed “General Pappu”.
(Since he runs away from specifics and talks only of “general” things.)

I think the high point of Pappu in 2014 is being interviewed by Arnab.
That’s how low things have reached for him.

Frost/Nixon was made into critically acclaimed film.
Pappu/Arnab will be made into a comically acclaimed film.

Pappu: You can’t blame me for 1984, tab main bachcha tha.
Comment: Please don’t blame him in 2014, woh abhi bhi bachcha hai.

There’s no me, main or hum… Rahul Gandhi refers to himself in the third person.

Blah blah blah RTI empowerment… Blah blah blah RTI empowerment… blah blah blah RTI empowerment… blah blah blah RTI empowerment… blah blah blah RTI empowerment…

Arnab…
Just getting Pappu: Coup.
Asking tough questions: Another coup.
That’s coup coup!
Pappu…
Plain cuckoo!
#ArnabAurPappu

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Congressi dynasty musings…

The Infinity Loop of Inaction…
Pappu: I am ready to do what the Congress wants.
Congress: We are ready to do what Pappu wants.

The symbol of Indian politics should be Two Hands.
One Hand holding the Hammer and Sickle.
The other Hand holding the Broom.

The diminishing Pappu…
2010: Likely successor to Manmohan.
2012: Likely challenger to Modi.
2014: Likely lost it to even Kejriwal.

The dynasty (Sonia) wrecked UPA2.
Solution: Get more dynasty (Pappu).
Failed again.
Next solution: Get even more dynasty (Priyanka).

The Congress is toying with the idea of making the wife of a humble farmer with a simpleton brother their PM candidate.
#PriyankaVadra

Priyanka would be the worst PM ever.
The only choice we’ve known that she’s made is marrying Robert Vadra.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Mera Pappu mahaan…

You can put a golden crown on a Pappu and it will still remain a Pappu.

Congress to spend Rs 500 crore polishing Pappu’s image?
A Rs 1 lakh permanent one way ticket to anywhere in the world would solve the Congress problems permanently.

Pappu wished to be 1000 times smart as he is now.
He got his wish and nothing changed.
Why?
Because 1000 X 0 = 0.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru