Esteemed numerologists of the Grand Old Party of India, the Congress, have found a crucial link between the Coalgate scam and the results of the 2014 general elections.

The Coalgate scam amount was pegged at: Rs 185591 followed by oh so many zeroes that nobody can even count and keep track of.

That number can be symbolized by…

1—The numbers of States where the Congress won 4 Lok Sabha seats.

8—The number of seats it won in Kerala.

5—The number of “big” States where it won 2 seats.

5—The number of States where it won 1 seat.

9—The number of seats won in Karnataka.

1—The number of states where it won 3 seats.

Followed by oh so many zeroes, the number of places where it won zero seats…
Andaman & Nicobar Islands, Chandigarh, Dadra & Nagar Haveli, Daman & Diu, Delhi, Goa, Gujarat, Himachal Pradesh, Jammu & Kashmir, Jharkhand, Lakshadweep, Nagaland, Rajasthan, Sikkim, Tamil Nadu, Tripura and Uttarakhand.

This has put the Congress party in depression.

Explained a spokesperson: Since we are out of power we will be involved in Zero scams and hence make Zero money at the Centre: With 44 seats we cannot even influence a Bill or project for any scam. Now by numerology, doesn’t that mean we will get Zero seats in 2019?

To counter this zero problem, the party has decided to hand over complete charge of the party to Pappu, who is not only the biggest Zero in the Congress party but maybe even the country. He will be ably assisted by Zero Loss Sibal.

Another was quite optimistic.

There was great interference by non-dynasty members. We need to give them full charge.

With 1 member of the dynasty, we may get 1 Zero Zero seats.

With 2 members of the dynasty, we may get 2 Zero Zero seats.

With 3 members of the dynasty, we may get 3 Zero Zero seats.

So there’s a good chance that if we make Sonia the Honorary President for Life, Pappu the President and Pappini the Vice President and all three campaign for 2019 the Congress may well get 300 seats.

Catching on with the upbeat mood of the Congress, a newcomer added…
Priyanka’s two children will be much older in 2019 and hence we should target 500 seats!

© Sunil Rajguru

The Congress is called the Grand Old Party of India.
It has been decided forthwith to drop the word “Grand” from the nickname.

The Dynasty-Congress equation is like Hotel California…
You can check-out any time you like, but you can never leave!
#QueenSonia #YuvrajPappu

Amit Shah = 73 seats.
Sonia + Pappu + Pappini = 44 seats.
Forget Modi—try to match up to Shah!

The Congress has totally cleared Sonia and Pappu of the party’s worst show ever.
They have totally blamed Modi instead.

Congress and its stooges…
Arrogant in victory.
Arrogant in defeat.
Arrogant after landslide.
Arrogant after being massacred.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru