The Indian politician’s oath…

Your own ease, comfort and safety come first, always and every time.
The honour, welfare and comfort of the partymen come next.
The safety, honour and welfare of your country come last, always and every time.
(With due apologies to glorious cadets of the IMA and Field Marshal Philip Chetwode)

Totally misquoting the original by US business house…
Rule 1: The politician is always right.
Rule 2: If the politician is ever wrong, re-read Rule 1.

Totally misquoting the original by US consultancy firm…
When the politician comes first, the politician will last.

Totally misquoting the original by Gandhi…
The best way to find yourself is to lose yourself in the service of yourself.
That service is the noblest which is rendered for one’s own sake.

Totally misquoting the original by Tagore…
I slept and dreamt that life was joy. I awoke and saw that life was service. I looted and behold, service became joy.

Totally misquoting the original by Einstein…
Only a life lived in the service one’s self is worth living.

Totally misquoting the original by Woodrown Wilson…
You are not here merely to make a living. You are here to enrich yourself, and to impoverish the country in the process.

Totally misquoting the original by Mother Teresa…
If you can’t feed a hundred Indian citizens, then just feed yourself.

Totally misquoting the original by Fred Rogers…
Life is for self-service.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Bollywood movies on today’s politics…

Kab Tak Chhup Rahunga! followed by its sequel Meri Awaaz Suno, starring Manmohan Singh

Dilli Ka Thug, starring Baba Ramdev and directed by Diggy Raja

Ready (for PM’s post), starring Rahul Beta and directed by Diggy Raja

Golmaal 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7 & 8, a multi-star cast from UPA 2

Atithi Tum Kab Jaoge?, starring the Tatas and directed by Mamata

Hum Aapke Hain Koun…!, starring Karunanidhi and its sequel Aap Mujhe Achche Lagne Lage, starring Jayalalitha, both directed by Sonia Gandhi

Pardes, a sweet love story about Indian black money dancing in Switzerland

Chor Machaye Shor & Paisa Khaaya To Darna Kya, starring Kanimozhi and Dayanidhi Maran

Beta, starring Rahul and directed by Sonia

UPA Teri Sarkar Maili, another multi-star cast from UPA 2

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

You have no moral right…

BJP to Congress: You have no moral right because of 1984 Sikh Riots.
Congress to BJP: You have no moral right because of Babri Masjid.

Advani to Manmohan: You have no moral right because of you’re spineless.
Manmohan to Advani: You have no moral right because of communalism.

Mulayam to Maya: You have no moral right because of statues and garlands.
Maya to Mulayam: You have no moral right because of criminals.

Detractors to Modi: You have no moral right because of Godhra.
Modi to detractors: You have no moral right because you govern worse than me.

Lalit Modi to Shashi Tharoor: You have no moral right because of Sweat equity.
Tharoor to Modi: You have no moral right because of the way you run IPL.

Politician A to Politician B: You have no moral right because of corruption, nepotism, incompetence and minimal development.
Politician B to Politician A: You have no moral right because of corruption, nepotism, incompetence and minimal development.

For once they are all Right. Nobody really has any Moral Right any more.

In Indian politics, if you’re in the Right, you’re not Morally Right.
If you’re in the Left, you’re Morally Wrong.
Nothing changes even if you move to the Centre.

Elsewhere Great Politicians have achieved Immortality.
Our Politicians have achieved Immorality.

© Sunil Rajguru