Tag Archives: india

What “Manmohan Singh” really wants to say…

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Main azaad nahin hu!

Anna Hazare se mujhe bachao!

Nuclear policy ki waat lag gayi!

Mukherjeeda, main tujhe pradhan mantra nahin ban-ne doonga!

Oil prices, inflation, high taxation ka magic wand kahan hai!

Hisar chhootha, ab hisaab hi chhuthha ho jaayega!

Andimuthu Raja ye tune kya kiya!

Notes se votes nahin milte hain, cash-for-votes file bandh karo!

Swiss Bank list ki talwar abhi bhi sar par latak rahi hai!

Information ka Right ko bahaar pheko!

NREGA aur kitna paisa lega? Tijori hi khaali ho rahi ha!

G se bahut dar lagta hai… 2G, CWG, CAG, Soniaji, Rahulji…

Hum phir bhi chup rahenge… hahaha… tum sab chillaate raho!

This version by Sunil Rajguru

Indian employment exchange Wanted Ads…

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Journalist: Wanted someone who can fabricate stories and make mountains out of molehills and vice versa without a conscience.

PR: Do you have a bit of Niira Radia within you?

Banker: If you can ensure your salary and bonus for just one year and have great short-term financial goals (the overall economy and Sensex be damned) then please apply.

Banking Consultant: If you are a small-time goonda, here’s your chance to become a respectable recovery agent.

Lawyer: Just head to any political party after your law degree. Most of them end up there anyway.

Commercial Pilot: Just make sure you have enough money to buy a fake degree.

Sales Job: But can you lie 24X7 and be confident about it?

Accountant: Knowing all the rules and being good with numbers is not enough. Apply if you can manipulate rules at will and make numbers dance in any way you want.

Real Estate: Do you have it within you to handle the land mafia to make it big?

Army: Adarsh hai to wahan pe apply karo…

Politician: If you have all the above mentioned skills, then we already welcome you to the wonderful world of Indian politics.

© Sunil Rajguru

India-England cricket tour injury musings…

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If the English won’t get you, then the injuries will.
If the injuries won’t get you, then the DRS will.
(Especially applicable to greats like Rahul Dravid)

Sachin has been stranded on his 99th international century for ages now. But that’s normal. He always spends a lot of time in the nervous nineties.

The BCCI now stands for the Board of Control of Cricketing Injuries.

A movie based on the tour will predictably be called Ghayal, the English remake will be…
Eight Injuries and Indian Cricket’s Funeral.

Yesterday’s Theme: Hum honge kaamyaab…
Today’s theme…
Hum honge tanadarust, hum honge tanadarust ek din,
Tan main hain vishwas, poora hai vishwas…

New rhyme for kids…
Eleven Indian cricketers standing in the field,
Eleven Indian cricketers standing in the field,
If one Indian cricketer should get accidentally injured,
Then there’d be ten Indian cricketers standing in the field,
Ten Indian cricketers standing in the field…

Indian cricket players can now be divided into two equal halves:
Between those who have played on the 2011 England tour and those who haven’t.

Desperate measures: Sack the coach, hire a fleet of doctors. Scrap the NCA, build a BCCI Hospital.

Old Saying: Delhi door hai.
New Saying…
Sachin ka sauwa shatak door hai.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

A very short Tahrir-Tihar drama…

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Scene 1: Somewhere in fascist India.

Anna: Hum yahan ek Tahrir Square type revolution layenge!
Sarkar: Pahale hum aapko squarely Tihar Jail main daalenge. Wahan chakki peeste (revolution karte) rahana!

Scene 2: Tihar Jail.

Anna: Aap yahan kis liye aaye hai?
Kalmadi: Corruption. Aur aap?
Anna: Anti-corruption.

Epilogue.
The Congress now believe in the Chinese higher philosophy of “Unity of Opposites”.
Tihar Jail will now have two wings. One will be called the Corruption Cell. The other will be called the Anti-corruption Cell.

Post Script.
So we finally get our own Tahrir Square, though it looks as big as India right now!

© Sunil Rajguru