So much noise pollution is taking place thanks to that irrepressible group of people that call themselves the Congress spokespersons, that a brand new science called the United Progression of Audio (UPA) is being studied.

The scales…

Decibel (dB) = Unit of sound.

130dB = Threshold of pain.

194dB = Theoretical limit for undistorted sound.

Beyond that is the severely distorted UPA universe.

200db = 1 Sibal

10 Sibals (1 DeSibal) = 1 Singhvi.

10 Singhvis = 1 Renuka.

10 Renukas = 1 Aiyar.

10 Aiyars = 1 Tiwari.

10 Tiwaris = 1 Narayanaswamy.

10 Narayanaswamys = 1 DiggyRaja.

It is very difficult to go above the DiggyRaja Scale, for not only does the sound go for a toss at that level, but the very reality becomes distorted. TV waves have proved to be a perfect medium for carrying that type of reality distorted sound.

Some UPA statistics…

∙ On the day when all these spokespersons speak in unison, the resulting supersonic boom travels all around the world seven times. It has been known to disturb the flight paths of many poor unsuspecting migrating birds.

∙ In 2011, the noise pollution levels in the country rose by 32,237%.

∙ Many common citizens have complained of severe hearing problems thanks to all these high levels of distorted sound.

∙ Others have also complained of severe eye problems as they simply can’t believe the reality that they are seeing. (At the DiggyRaja scale, hallucinations have been known to occur).

∙ Psychiatrists have noted a rise in trauma thanks to people watching too much TV news channels.

∙ In its annual survey, The Global Politeness Institution has ranked India the fourth rudest country in the world at the end of 2011 as against its position of 154 at the end of 2010.

© Sunil Rajguru