60 is the retirement age.
Chalo 65 maan lete hai.
Independence ke baad Congress ke 66 years ho gaye hai.
Retire kar do!
1977: Opposition booted out the Congress.
1989: Mainstream media booted out the Congress.
2014: At least the Social Media is giving a good fight!
We (Nehru)
shall (Indira)
definitely (Rajiv)
solve (Sonia)
Kashmir (Rahul)…
We (Nehru)
shall (Indira)
definitely (Rajiv)
reduce (Sonia)
poverty (Rahul)…
We…
These versions by Sunil Rajguru
10 ways to counter Pakistan…
1. Denial.
2. Bluster.
3. Confusion.
4. Summon envoy.
5. Parliament Resolution.
6. Cricket ban.
7. Petition US.
8. Talk about talks.
9. Hope.
10. Forget.
They say…
1. Anna is anarchy.
2. Social media is anarchy.
3. Rajya Sabha is anarchy.
But…
It feels like there’s no Government at the Centre.
That’s anarchy.
I shudder what will happen when Pappu reads Descartes.
The poor man will just have to say…
I think I am rich therefore I am.
This government is like a cancer to the nation without a sense of humour.
In fact, it has a sense of tumour.
These versions by Sunil Rajguru
Pakistan Army men a.k.a. men in Pakistan Army uniforms.
a.k.a. = also known as.
(That AKA is also AK Antony is purely coincidental)
All members of the Congress are born with a clean chit in their mouth.
Every Pakistani leader dreams of a Plot that will win Kashmir.
Every Indian leader dreams of a Talk that will win the Nobel Peace Prize over Kashmir.
Result: No-one wins.
Millions of bullets.
Thousands of deaths.
Hundreds of failed talks.
Dozens of inept leaders.
Two pissed off N-powers.
1 disputed territory.
Zero solutions.
Dear Congress,
If BJP is rated 4/10 in cyberspace, then they can probably double it to 8 with sustained effort.
You are at -1 and hence eNREGA will probably double it to -2.
Congress’ most dangerous enemies…
First: Pappu’s speech writer.
Second: Diggy Raja.
Third: Modi.
No consolation prize to: BJP.
Difference between Congress and BJP…
Man writes Sonia biography thousands of kilometres away.
Congress goes ballistic and bans it.
Man insults Modi right next to Shivraj
Shivraj keeps quiet and buzzes off.
These versions by Sunil Rajguru
Politicians: Servants of the People.
Government officials: Servants of the servants of the People.
Aam Aadmi: Servants of the servants of the servants of the People.
Note: Who are these mysterious “People” that the Constitution keeps talking about?
Dear Congress,
In the 1970s, the Opposition took to strikes, extreme violence and even bombs.
Aren’t peaceful protests and Internet Humour much better than that?
Congress slogans…
1970s: Gareebi Hatao.
Post-Food Bill: Gareebi Hat Gayi.
Now all the focus can be on: Modi Hatao.
Q: Why’re you issuing Clean Chits to everyone including even Pakistan?
A: Hehe. Sorry. We’ve used up all our Guilty Chits on Modi and have none left!
These versions by Sunil Rajguru
Statement: We believe in women empowerment.
Proof: Sonia is the most powerful person in India. She’s a woman.
Statement: We believe in reducing poverty.
Proof: We were out of power from 1996-2004 and a lot of Congressmen had become poor. But that has been rectified during our 2004-2013 reign.
Statement: We believe in freedom of speech.
Proof: The Congressmen say absolutely anything they want to no matter how offensive while Congress abusers on social networking never have Section 66A slapped against them.
Statement: We believe in cordial foreign relations.
Proof: The Pakistanis and Chinese are beating the crap out of us but we still believe in being friendly with them.
Statement: We have taken a tough stand against terrorism.
Proof: The country’s biggest threat Indian Mujahideen doesn’t even exist!
Statement: We will destroy our enemies.
Proof: If you mean Congress’ enemies and not India’s then a definite yes.
© Sunil Rajguru
Funny isn’t it how the Congress with 27% Lok Sabha seats (2004-09) and 38% seats (2009-13) + 29% Rajya Sabha seats has got its way in almost everything?
In 2006, Jason Gillespie was sent as a night watchman in a Test match.
He scored a double century.
In 2004, the Congress sent a night watchman to head the government.
He is still batting!
44 bills off 16 days.
If BJP helps clear them: Match-fixing!
If BJP doesn’t: Negative bowling! Not in the right spirit!
Spot the difference.
44 runs off 16 balls…
Dhoni: Theek hai.
44 bills off 16 days…
MMS: Theek hai.
These versions by Sunil Rajguru