Tag Archives: BJP

Chaos and the Bellary Butterfly Effect

Posted on by
Reply

Timeline: 2004 to 2011

Voters to BJP: Thanks for everything, but your services are no longer required.

BJP to RSS: Thanks for everything, but your services are no longer required.

RSS to Advani: Thanks for everything, but your services are no longer required.

Advani to Yeddy: Thanks for everything, but your services are no longer required.

Yeddy to Reddys: Thanks for everything, but your services are no longer required.

Reddys to Bellary: Thanks for everything, but your services are no longer required.

Bellary to Itself: Kyunki mining services bache hi nahin hai. Maine kisi ka kya bigaada re, ki main aisa ujad gaya! Sab ke jebe bhar bhar ke main khud kangaal ho gaya hu!

How green was my valley!

The Butterfly Effect: The flapping of a butterfly’s wings in Mexico can unleash a tornado in the US.

The Bellary Butterfly Effect: The flapping of ballot papers in Delhi can unleash an environmental and economic tornado in Bellary.

This version by Sunil Rajguru

What Manmohan Singh said (and didn’t say)

Posted on by
Reply

I trust my ministers fully (to make mistakes).

The BJP cannot topple us (as we are capable of falling on our own).

There is no dissension in the Cabinet (nobody ever listened to anyone anyway).

We have got a mandate to rule from 2009-14 (So please stop asking about things that happened before 2009 and keep quiet till 2014).

No matter what we will stay the course (even though we are on course for disaster right now).

World economic crisis is deepening (so stop bugging me about national inflation, price rise etc).

The people of Palestine have a right to have their voice heard (but the people of India, please shut up).

The Delhi blast is a grave reminder for us regarding terror (we keep getting such reminders all the time and are totally used to it by now).

Development must be in tune with “felt needs” of the people (“felt” refers to only what the Congress feels).

Nuclear energy is the future (of all agitations across India).

I salute Anna Hazareji (only because PC’s kick totally failed).

The BJP is behaving like a proper Opposition (how improper!)

© Sunil Rajguru

Anti-corruption drive then and now…

Posted on by
Reply

Congress
Then: Can we eradicate corruption?
Now: Can we eradicate Baba and Anna?

BJP
Then: Hey Ram!
Now: Hey Ramdev!

Sibal
Then: Baba is the right choice baby.
Now: Baba is not only right, but far right and RSS.

Lokpal Bill
Then: Will it be able to end corruption?
Now: Will it ever see the light of day?

Diggy Raja
Then: Anna RSS hai.
Now: Baba RSS hai.

The corrupt of India…
Then: LOL!
Now: LOL!

The citizens of India…
Then: Aayega, aayega, aayega Lokpal ek din aayega…
Now: Aayega, aayega, aayega Lokpal ek din aayega…

This version by Sunil Rajguru

The secret diary of LK Advani…

Posted on by
2

Still plenty to live for…
Let me review my Vision 2020…

2011: Current Congress government most corrupt in the history of India!
Have to go on the offensive, stall Parliament, organize as many yatras as I can…
Stay in the limelight… stay in the limelight…

2012: Have to push Vajpayeeji for the President’s post when Pratibha madam retires. Only fit man in India to swear me in as PM…

2013: Modi will be sworn in as CM in the beginning of the year.
I have to get him to break Basu’s Bengal record.
Got to keep him away from Delhi… got to keep him away from Delhi…

2014: Anti-incumbency wave will finally hit UPA.
I finally get my dream to be PM!!!

2015: Nitish Kumar has to be pacified.
His re-election will make many NDA allies propose him as PM candidate.
5 cabinet berths for JD(U)? Massive Bihar relief package? Unification plan for Bihar and Jharkhand?

2016: Rath Yatras 17, 18 and 19 will have to be kick-started to maintain popularity.

2017: I will show these jokers how to implement 4G!

2018: BJP’s glorious campaign on Black Money will finally bear fruit, boosting the economy and boosting my popularity too!

2019: On my re-election as PM, I will simply have to appoint my successor, otherwise they will start pulling me down.

2020: Rath Yatras 20, 21 and 22 to celebrate my second term.

2024: Lok Sabha polls? No, no, no… that will be thinking too far ahead!

© Sunil Rajguru

Karnataka: Some questions and answers…

Posted on by
2

Q: Who is the Leader of the Opposition in Karnataka?
A: The Governor.

Q: Why is the Centre not imposing President’s Rule in Karnataka?
A: Because it has already imposed Governor’s Rule.

Q: Why has all development in Karnataka either come to a standstill or is going at a snail’s pace?
A: Since an out and out pro-development CM SM Krishna was brutally booted out, subsequent rulers are convinced that the people of the state hate development and are working against it. Andhra Pradesh is also suffering for doing the same to Chadrababu Naidu. Also, corrupt CMs seem to have a greater chance of re-election.

Q: What is the land policy of Karnataka?
A: Equality for all politicians. Since it is perceived that the Congress and JD(S) have already taken over huge amounts of land, the BJP is desperately trying to achieve parity before it is toppled.

Q: Why is the Chief Minister of Karnataka not quitting?
A: If LK Advani can stay after the debacle of 2009, Narendra Modi can stay after Godhra, Manmohan Singh can stay after Adarsh, CWG, 2G etc, why punish poor Yeddy for much littler crimes?

Q: What does the future hold for Karnataka?
A: Not good I’m afraid. The poor electorate of Karnataka is totally confused. Was Congressman Dharam Singh the worst CM ever? Was JD(S) HD Kumaraswamy any good? Is BJP BSY the most corrupt? Is the Congress at the Centre totally destroying the state? Such questions usually lead to hung assemblies and general all-round instability.

© Sunil Rajguru