Jab tak rahega samosa main aloo,
Tab tak rahega Kejri ka drama chaloo.
Saare parties chor hai.
Saare Industrialists chor hai.
Ab hum to judiciary ka bhi nahin sunenge.
Media coverage versus vote share…
Kejriwal has the worst ROI in India’s electoral history.
What the media told you…
Kejriwal is David and Modi is Goliath.
What it actually was…
Modi is David and the Grand Old Party is Goliath.
These versions by Sunil Rajguru
Gandhi topis. <Check> (Just write something on them)
Fake austerity. <Check>
Vigilantism. <Check>
Infighting. <Check>
Dharnas. <Check>
Physical attack on rival headquarters. <Check>
Stone-pelting. <Check>
U-turns. <Check>
Non-stop exaggerations. <Check>
Hurl baseless allegations. <Check>
Make tall claims. <Check>
Never accept that you are wrong. <Check>
Abuse media. <Check>
Wear skull cap. <Check>
Appeal to religious leaders. <Check>
Violate Model Code of Conduct. <Check>
Field tainted candidates for elections. <Check>
Have FIRs against top leaders. <Check>
One AAP leader to another: We are so different no! We will bring about a change in Indian politics!
© Sunil Rajguru
In an exam paper, Modi got 80/100 and Kejri got 0/100.
Kejri screamed, “Modi failed to get 100 by 20 marks!” a few dozen times.
Media reported: Modi failed by 20 marks.
Pappu couldn’t even give the paper.
Sonia said, “Had he given the paper, he would have got 100/100.”
Media reported: Pappu narrowly misses getting 100/100.
Final headline…
Pappu best candidate. Kejriwal best challenger to Modi.
(And that’s how we are comparing a man with Zero days experience as Chief Minister with a man with 49 days experience as Chief Minister with a man who has 4500+ days experience as Chief Minister)
© Sunil Rajguru
They claimed…
ABC of national politics = AAP, BJP, Congress.
The reality…
ABC of irrelevance = AAP, BSP, CPM.
Is thappad ki goonj suni tumne? Ab is ki goonj ki goonj tumhe sunai degi, sunai degi…
—Dr Dang.
Is thappad ki goonj suni tumne? Ab is ki goonj ki goonj tumhe sunai degi, sunai degi saare news channels par 24X7.
—Mr Kejriwal.
The pattern…
1. Kejriwal attacked.
2. Attacker thrashed by AAPians.
3. Modi indirectly blamed.
4. Attacker turns out to be AAP/ex-AAP/an Aam Aadmi.
If the AAP is a B-Team of the Congress, then Rakhi Sawant’s Rashtirya Aam Party looks like a B-Team of the AAP.
These versions by Sunil Rajguru
Kejriwal bolta media paid hai…
Shazia Ilmi, ex-Star.
Ashutosh, ex-Aaj Tak-IBN7.
Manish Sisodia, ex-Zee News-AIR.
Anita Pratap, ex- Time magazine-Indian Express.
Ashish Khetan, ex-Tehelka-Gulail.
Rakhi Birlan, ex-Jain TV.
Jarnail Singh, ex-Dainik Jagran.
Kejriwal bolta chargesheeted politicians and those with court cases—politics chhodo!
Kejriwal: Dharna case, multiple code of conduct violations.
Bharti: Pulled up by court, vigilante raid case.
Ashutosh-Shazia: BJP headquarters’ attack case.
Manish Sisodia: Fined in Sibal defamation case.
Many AAP Lok Sabha candidates: Many criminal cases.
Kejriwal bolta India ka capitalism crony hai …
Kejriwal, ex-Tata Steel.
Meera Sanyal, ex-CEO and Chairperson of Royal Bank of Scotland.
V Balakrishnan, ex-CFO Infosys.
Somnath Bharti, ex-Madgen Solutions.
Dilip Pandey, ex-TCS.
Kejriwal blasts establishment…
Thus spake Kejriwal, ex-IIT, ex-IRS, ex-Chief Minister.
Post script…
Kejriwal says all politicians are bad.
Kejriwal is a politician.
© Sunil Rajguru
Aaptopia: An imaginary island where everything in the AAP has reached absolute perfection whereas the rest of the world is 100% imperfect.
Aapocracy: A form of democracy which favours rule-breaking, vigilantism, dharnas and violent attacks on rivals.
Aaponomics: Oppose FDI, increase subsidies, threaten power companies, run down industrialists… anything to get in the news the economy be damned.
Aapolitics: A form of politics if the ruling government is corrupt, inept and venal, then support should be taken from the ruling party in order to attack the Opposition.
Aapinion polls: If the verdict of the aam aadmi suits you, follow it. If it doesn’t, then do what the hell you want.
Aaptard: The new Namotard, more brain-dead and more potent.
Aapportunism: The philosophy by which the party will grab whatever opportunity comes along their path no matter whether it suits their ideology or not.
Aappearances: As long as you are appearing on media on a regular basis, absolutely nothing else matters.
Aapper Class: Members of this class pretend to be Aam Aadmis but are actually Khaas Aadmis.
These versions by Sunil Rajguru