Tag Archives: anna hazare

Independence Day correspondence…

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Dear Government,
May I go on an indefinite fast in a public place to destablise your government?
Warm regards,
Anna

Dear Anna,
Of course you may not! Get out in three days.
Warm regards,
Police

Dear Manmohan,
Why are you silent? The police is giving me permission only for three days!
Warm regards,
Anna

Dear Anna,
What is this? A police state? Don’t bother me. Go ask the police!
Warm regards,
Manmohan

Dear Pratibha,
With BSY gone I am totally bored and have nothing to do and no one to write to. Kindly advise.
Warm regards,
Hansraj

Dear Hansraj,
I have just one word to say to you.
Sadanand.
Now get back to work!
Warm regards,
Pratibha

Dear Manmohan,
Chidambaram is getting on my nerves.
Warm regards,
Narendra

Dear Narendra,
As of now every UPA minister and spokesperson is getting on everyone’s nerves. What do you expect me to do? Just keep quiet like me and all your problems will vanish. Stop wasting your time with all these silly letters all of you!
Warm regards,
Manmohan

Dear Government,
I must say that you are really corrupt and dictatorial!
Warm regards,
Anna

Dear Anna,
Same to you! You are also corrupt and dictatorial.
Warm regards,
Government
P.S. Happy Independence Day! Please go and eat some yummy shrikhand puri on that day and after that just go to sleep, you old Marathi manoos!

© Sunil Rajguru

Overheard 7…

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Naagrik: Doodh main kyu paani mila rahe ho bhai?
Doodhwala: To kya kar loge ji?

Anna: Lokpal Bill main kyun paani mila rahe ho bhai?
Pradhan Mantri: To kya kar loge ji?

Pak PM: Indo-Pak relations need to be energized with a bit of youth.
Result: Hina! Hina! Hina!

The misunderstood media moghul…

Murdoch: Mobilize all the hacks!
What really happened: All the mobiles were hacked!

Murdoch: I’ve been attacked so much that the news of the world should be shut down for me.
What really happened: The News of the World shut down.

Murdoch: This is the most humiliating day of my life!
What was really reported: This is the most humbling day of my life.

© Sunil Rajguru

Some Congressi definitions…

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Fascism: A system led by a dictator like Anna Hazare having complete power, forcibly suppressing government and its corrupt ministers, regimenting all protests, agitations, etc., and emphasizing an aggressive sense of national pride by demanding an end to black money.

Thug: A professional arm-twister who strangles the government with his unrealistic demands like Baba Ramdev.

Anti-corruption agitator: Another name for an RSS agitator. Do you think the Congress government is corrupt? Then you have got to be an RSS sympathizer. Are you agitating against corruption? Ha! The mukhauta (mask) is off, you are definitely an RSS activist!

Corruption: Something that has dropped on the Congress unfortunately and unavoidably like pigeon shit. Hey! We are the white kurtas and not the pigeons!

Lokpal Bill: An unfortunate and unavoidable situation arising out of the pigeon shit as mentioned above.

Freedom of speech: Something which is guaranteed only to one and only one citizen in India out of the 1 odd billion, namely Mr Digvijay Singh.

Sibal Society: The true white and pure efforts of the Congress government. Its opposite is Civil Society.

Mr India: Manmohan Singh. Not because he is saving India like the famous Anil Kapoor movie, but because he is invisible.

Police State: Refers only to the states controlled by Narendra Modi and Mayawati. Since Baba Ramdev is a fascist thug leading thousands of RSS activists, he got what was coming to him just like Osama. In the process we have also proved that we are a superpower like US. Osama and Baba are two sides of the same coin.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Anti-corruption drive then and now…

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Congress
Then: Can we eradicate corruption?
Now: Can we eradicate Baba and Anna?

BJP
Then: Hey Ram!
Now: Hey Ramdev!

Sibal
Then: Baba is the right choice baby.
Now: Baba is not only right, but far right and RSS.

Lokpal Bill
Then: Will it be able to end corruption?
Now: Will it ever see the light of day?

Diggy Raja
Then: Anna RSS hai.
Now: Baba RSS hai.

The corrupt of India…
Then: LOL!
Now: LOL!

The citizens of India…
Then: Aayega, aayega, aayega Lokpal ek din aayega…
Now: Aayega, aayega, aayega Lokpal ek din aayega…

This version by Sunil Rajguru

Really bad Diggy Raja PJs…

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∙ Many years back, Diggy Raja lost his voice.
Then he became the world’s first recipient of a foot-for-tongue transplant.
God forgive him for he knows not what he says!

∙ The protestors are RSS…
Baba is RSS…
Anna is RSS…
The shoe hurler is RSS…
This is RSS…
That is RSS…
The only RSS with relation to Diggy Raja stands for “Really Stupid Statements”!

∙ Diggy Raja is a great fan of Goebbels.
Goebbels once said something to the effect of…
If you repeat a lie a hundred times it becomes a truth. The greater the lie, the greater chance it has of becoming a greater truth.
The Diggy Raja remixed version…
If you say a hundred stupid statements a hundred times, they still remain stupid statements, but atleast the speaker feels smart!
The more stupider the statement, the greater the sense of smartness.
(Now you know why Diggy Raja feels chuffed all the time)

© Sunil Rajguru

Raavan Raj at Ram Lila grounds…

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Recently Baba Ramdev was removed from the Ram Lila grounds in New Delhi over the Lokpal agitation issue…

Some musings on the issue…

∙ Old slogan: Sonia nahi ye aandhi hai, doosri Indira Gandhi hai.
New Slogan: Satyagrahi nahin ye atyachari hai, doosri Emergency hai…

∙ Ab to bas Congress se corruption free atmosphere ke liye bheek hi maangna padega…
Ek Lok Pal Bill Anna ke naam pe dede re Baba!

∙ This is how Mahatma Gandhi became famous and the British Empire collapsed.
Doesn’t the Congress Empire know its history?

∙ Baba Ramdev probably got his millionth video byte on Indian TV news.
Jitni shaurat zindagi bhar Yoga se nahin mili hogi, us-se dugni anshan aur arrest se mil gayi!

∙ Is Manmohan Singh going to appoint a Propaganda Minister?
Digvijay Singh seems to be the perfect Goebbels.

∙ Police action was effected late after midnight to avoid banner headlines in the newspapers.
Somehow the government forgot about the news channels and Internet.

∙ Yesterday: Lokpal Wars.
Today: The Corrupt Empire Strikes Back.
Tomorrow: Return of the Satyagrahi?

∙ Waise ye Lokpal Bill hain kya? Ab main bhool gaya hu. Bas Anna Baba ki kahani ban ke raha gayi hai…

© Sunil Rajguru