The Kejriwal Trilogy…
2013: Fellowship of the AAP.
2014: The Twin Towers of Appointment and Resignation.
2015: Return of the Nautanki King.
AAP…
Plan A: Pappu for PM, Kejri for CM.
Plan B: Kejri not CM, Kejri for PM.
Plan C: Modi for PM, Kejri for CM.
Finally…
Kejri for FM(L).
These versions by Sunil Rajguru
Pakistan is not a State.
It is a loose alliance of generals, politicians, US officials and terrorists.
Indian men watching Pak turmoil on news channels.
Indian women watching serene Pak soap operas on Zindagi.
Now all we need is an Indo-Pak cricket match for the sports channels.
It’s quite simple actually.
In Pakistan, night (dictatorship) always follows the day (democracy).
Also, the day is as dark as the night.
Imran Khan’s jingle for Pakistan is…
Boore din aane waale hai.
Lose elections.
Become irrelevant.
Lay siege to a capital.
Do lots of drama.
Rubbish journalists.
Party infighting.
24X7 TV coverage.
Iconic leader good at everything but politics.
#AAP #PTI
Imran Khan is the boy who didn’t even own the bat and got out and continued batting claiming that the bat was his.
These versions by Sunil Rajguru
Politician Kejriwal Grundy,
Born on a Monday,
Launched party on Tuesday,
Became CM on Wednesday,
Declared future PM on Thursday,
Lost his CMship on Friday,
Lost his PMship dreams on Saturday,
His politics took ill, grew worse, died and buried on Sunday.
That was the end,
Of Politician Kejriwal Grundy.
This version by Sunil Rajguru
In 1984, the Congress won a record 414 Lok Sabha seats.
In 2014, the Congress lost 418 seats.
But the AAP broke that record by losing 420 seats, a highly symbolic number.
AAP doesn’t respect other parties.
Doesn’t respect law and order.
Doesn’t respect courts.
Doesn’t respect anything at all.
Result…
Nobody respects the AAP, especially the voters.
AAP is curing Indian politics using Homeopathy: Like cures like.
They will cure bad parties by becoming as bad as them.
© Sunil Rajguru
Jab tak rahega samosa main aloo,
Tab tak rahega Kejri ka drama chaloo.
Saare parties chor hai.
Saare Industrialists chor hai.
Ab hum to judiciary ka bhi nahin sunenge.
Media coverage versus vote share…
Kejriwal has the worst ROI in India’s electoral history.
What the media told you…
Kejriwal is David and Modi is Goliath.
What it actually was…
Modi is David and the Grand Old Party is Goliath.
These versions by Sunil Rajguru
Gandhi topis. <Check> (Just write something on them)
Fake austerity. <Check>
Vigilantism. <Check>
Infighting. <Check>
Dharnas. <Check>
Physical attack on rival headquarters. <Check>
Stone-pelting. <Check>
U-turns. <Check>
Non-stop exaggerations. <Check>
Hurl baseless allegations. <Check>
Make tall claims. <Check>
Never accept that you are wrong. <Check>
Abuse media. <Check>
Wear skull cap. <Check>
Appeal to religious leaders. <Check>
Violate Model Code of Conduct. <Check>
Field tainted candidates for elections. <Check>
Have FIRs against top leaders. <Check>
One AAP leader to another: We are so different no! We will bring about a change in Indian politics!
© Sunil Rajguru