Downright terrible contemporary rhymes celebrating woman power…

The Centre has Sonia Gandhi.
The South has Jayalalitha. The North has Mayawati and Shiela Dixit. The East has Mamata.
Next is West?
(Or is that Pratibha Patil who rose from the West, straight to Rashtrapati Bhavan?)

Jack and Jill

Jack and Jill went up the election hill,
To fetch a pail of voters,
Jack came down and broke his crown,
And Jill took all the honours.

Note: Replace Jack with Karuna, Buddha etc
Replace Jill with Jaya, Mamata etc

Little Jack Horner

Little Jack Karuna,
Sat in the corner,
Eating his telecom pie;
He put in his thumb,
And pulled out a 2G bomb,
And said ‘What a bad boy am I!

Rain rain go away

Women, women go away,
Don’t come again another day.
Buddha and Karuna want to play.

Little Bo-Peep

Little Buddha-Karuna have lost their voters,
And can’t tell where to find them;
Leave them till 2015, And they’ll come home,
Wagging their tails behind them.

The Rime of the Ancient Mariner

Election after election, day after day,
Men stuck, no breath no motion;
As idle as a painted ship
Upon a painted ocean.

Women, women, everywhere,
And all the men did shrink;
Women, women, everywhere,
Oldies Buddha and Karuna did sink.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

More Assembly poll musings…

∙ The ABCD of Tamil Nadu politics…
A for AIADMK.
B for BJP.
C for Congress.
D for DMK.
Key: Congress aur BJP gaye tel lene.
Hum log permanent A/D alternating current se hi kaam chala lenge.

∙ The Political Traffic Signal of West Bengal has turned Green.
But has the Development Traffic Signal just turned Red?

Meanwhile…
The Congress Election Campaign in Karnataka is poised to enter its fourth year next month.
The Centre may extend BSY’s term even after 5 years if he is not toppled by then.
(Hum usko gira ke hi rahenge… term expiry is not enough)
P.S. BSY has also emerged as India’s Most Trusted politician.
(Aur kisi ne itne Trust Votes survive kiye hai?)

© Sunil Rajguru

Assembly poll musings…

Jaya ho!
Lal Salaam Tamaam.

Bonus: No ji to the 2G team!

Pendulum, pendulum, yes papa!
Still swinging results, no papa!
Open the ballot boxes, ha ha ha!
(Hail to the Tamil Nadu voters. No matter how good or a bad government, it will be booted out anyway!)
OR
The only constant is change (of a Tamil Nadu government)

Congratulations national capital!
The Mamata Derail Express has just left New Delhi for good, making its way to West Bengal to ply there for 5 years.
(A lesson on how to replace a really bad government with one that promises to be much worse.)

This version by Sunil Rajguru

Diary of a Trainee Prime Minister…

∙ Wear a white kurta pyjama at least 1000 times. Check.

∙ Say at least a 100 times that you don’t want to be Prime Minister. Check.

∙ Be a humble party worker for many years. Check.

∙ Eat in a rural home and sleep there. Check.

∙ Carry a pile of dirt in a vessel on a shoulder with a farmer. Check.

∙ Travel by a local train. Check.

∙ Tour India (almost) like Mahatma Gandhi. Check.

∙ Get credit for a Lok Sabha national victory. Check.

∙ Take potshots at major opposition leaders. Check.

∙ Travel by bike on a rural dirt road. Check.

∙ Participate in a dharna. Check.

∙ Get arrested. Check.

Next is what?

P.S. If the direct descendant of three prime ministers has to sit on a dharna in this country, then what hope is there for the rest of mere mortals?

This Version by Sunil rajguru

Pakistan’s Blowin in the Wind…

Dedicated to the Pakistani government over their policy of pretending that terrorists do not exist in their land and due apologies to Bob Dylan and his immortal song Blowin in the wind

How many false roads must a government walk down,
Before you can see through the lies?
Through how many lies must a truth have to sail,
Before its crushed into the land?
Yes, an’ how many times must the terror bullets fly,
Before they’re forever banned?

The answer, my friend, is blowin’ in the wind,
The answer is blowin’ in the wind.

How many years can a mountain of lies exist,
Before it is washed to the sea?
Yes, an’ how many years can some terrorists exist,
Before they’re not allowed to be free?
Yes, an’ how many times must a government turn its head,
An’ pretend that it just doesn’t see?

The answer, my friend, it is blowin’ in the wind,
An’ the answer is blowin’ in the wind.

How many times must a government look down,
Before it can stare truth in the eye?
Yes, an’ how many ears must the State have,
Before they can hear people cry?
Yes, an’ how many deaths will it take until they know,
That too many people have died?

The answer, my friend, is blowin’ in the wind,
The answer is blowin’ in the wind.

(Original Song: Blowin in the wind
Singer: Bob Dylan
Year: 1963)

This spoof by Sunil Rajguru

Facebook Status Updates post Osama killing

Obama has just caught and killed Osama
–>1,234,341 people Like this Status
Zardari–>Really? When? Don’t tell me!
ISI–>We also helped, but you’ll never know.
Taliban–>We know and we’ll show you, just you wait!
Chidambaram–>Ab hamari baari hai.
Zardari–>Don’t try to spoil the moment. Shoo!

General Kayani has just changed his status from “Lay off US” to “Lay off India”

Manmohan–>But what about our talks?
Sonia–>I think its time you concentrated on the domestic scene for a change
Manmohan–>Yes, Soniaji!
General Kayani–>Guys, please lay off my Wall!

Al-Zawahari has just deleted the Ultra Secret Closed Group “Osama Speaks”

Al-Zawahari has just been promoted to head of Al-Qaeda

Obama played the Mystic Tarot Game
And the Answer is: Your Rajyoga will continue till 2017
–>234 Republicans dislike this status

Abbottabad Osama Memorial Haveli Page created
–>1,234,342 have become fans

ISI has just put the Abbottabad Osama Memorial Haveli on sale
–>Last bidder bid $456 million…

A Pakistan Citizen is feeling sad that Osama is no more
–>1,234,342 people Like this Status

ISI–>CIA
Can you please please call us? Too many misunderstandings to sort out.
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Zardari clicked the “Remove Friend” button on Obama’s profile by mistake, since then, they have become Friends again

Barack Obama sent George W Bush an invitation using Catch the Terrorist virtual game:
I challenge you to a game of Catch the Terrorist. I just scored 23,400 points in the game.
Think you can beat me?
P.S. I caught Osama and you didn’t!

Dawood has just deleted his Facebook account

ISI tried to join the Group CIA, but was denied access

David Cameron became a fan of Obama

Al-Qaeda has petitioned Facebook to make an “Add Enemies” application

Obama requests all his detractors to lay off, now that he has beaten the daylights out of all Republicans in catching terrorists.
P.S. I have a Nobel Peace Prize too!

This version By Sunil Rajguru