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This version by Sunil Rajguru
∙ Arybhatta invented Zero.
UPA invented hugely multiple Zero scams.
Sibal invented nullify via multiply by Zero method.
They deserve Zero votes in 2014.
∙ Woh tha Raja of 2G.
Manmohan hain Maharaja of all G (Generations of governments).
∙ Progress a la Manmohan
Jitna 1991 main economy ka size tha, us-se bada to scams ka size hain 2012 main!
OR
Yesterday
The turnover of General Motors was greater than the Union Budget of India.
Today
The size of scams is greater than the turnover of General Motors.
These versions by Sunil Rajguru
∙ The perfect Indian neta brushes his teeth with Coalgate, uses a 2G mobile, is proud of his Army’s Bofors guns, signs all his papers on Telgi stamp papers, has a house in Adarsh, is very proud of our success in the 2010 CWG Games, puts a very high price on his vote, is a loyal Swiss Bank customer, uses palmolein oil at home and loves shady Big Bulls.
∙ UPA logic…
Only a “fraction” of funds reach masses.
Greater the amount of scams, proportionately greater that “fraction”!
∙ The ABC of scam busting
is actually
The CAG of scam busting.
∙ UPA 2.0 means scams in the region of Rs 2.0 lakh crores.
Wait for UPA 3.0!
∙ 2G scam’s No. 1 status up in the air.
Coal scam blacker than the blackest!
These versions by Sunil Rajguru
Knock Knock.
Who’s there?
Usain.
Usain who?
You sayin’ I’m the greatest? No? OK I say it, “I’m the greatest!”
Knock Knock.
Who’s there?
Anna.
Anna who?
An’ now to the political part of our movement!
Knock Knock.
Who’s there?
Barack.
Barack who?
Brake on the economy, but not on my presidential re-election bid. Thank you Romney!
Knock Knock.
Who’s there?
Modi.
Modi who?
More the people discussing my PM’s chances, the greater chance I have! Keep talking!
These versions by Sunil Rajguru
Step 1: Allocate Rs 7000 crores for something as useless as mobiles for below poverty line families.
Step 2: Thousands of crores will disappear along the chain leading to a new scam.
Step 3: Telecom scam is now complete. Spectrum scam gets a partner in handset scam.
Step 4: Crores of BPL families end up with a mobile instead of roti, kapda or makaan.
Step 5: If they really are BPL, then they neither need nor can afford to use a mobile, so they sell it cheaply to buy food.
End result: The nation spends Rs 7000 crore in a scheme that benefits no-one in the long run and only adds to general inflation and economic mess.
Gresham’s law of Economics: Bad money drives out good.
UPA’s law of Economics: Bad schemes drive out good.
UPA1=NREGA dole. UPA2=Free mobiles for BPL families. UPA3 is what?
Bhagwan ke naam pe ek vote de de re baba!
This version by Sunil Rajguru
Yesterday…
Who can ever match Dhyan Chand?
What a team!
When will anyone be able to compete with us?
Where do such wizards come from?
Why do other teams even think of playing?
How much joy these people give us!
Today…
Who watches the matches any more?
What is the team upto?
When will their luck turn?
Where will an Olympic medal come from?
Why do they keep playing like this and doing it to themselves?
How long will we have to wait for a turnaround?
© Sunil Rajguru